Is it possible for previous lovers to remain friends?

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  1. seriousnuts profile image60
    seriousnutsposted 12 years ago

    Is it possible for previous lovers to remain friends?

    Is platonic relationship possible between these people?

  2. profile image0
    vinsanityposted 12 years ago

    Yes, but it depends on what kind of relationship and how serious. It also depends on why the relationship ended. Most of the time I have found that it's best to part ways if things went bad.

  3. padmendra profile image43
    padmendraposted 12 years ago

    It is not easy for the previous lovers to remain friends after break up. If the love was true, the emotions will  never allow
    them  to act like a friend. Of course,  true love is always unconditional and does not ask for any favor in  return. However, it  all depends on the type of situation and thinking of these people.

  4. your cybersister profile image61
    your cybersisterposted 12 years ago

    I think that it would depend on the two people involved whether that was possible or not.  Were they friends who became lovers over time, so friendship was the base of their relationship or were they lovers who never really became friends?  Did the affair come to end in an ugly manner or did things just die down and fade away?  I think many factors would come in to play.  It would only work out if both people only wanted a platonic relationship after having had a physical one, and probably after some time had passed.

  5. Lisa HW profile image61
    Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

    Yes, it's very possible.  That's a situation I'm in with my ex-husband now.  I made the mistake of buying the "line" that people are "supposed to marry their best friends" - and I married my then best friend.  Turns out being best friends isn't enough to hold a marriage together.    Oops.  Live and learn.  Being best friends and being married seems good enough.  What you don't want to be around for is being best friends and getting a divorce.  Now THAT gets REALLY ugly - maybe because it's easier for romance to dissolve than it is for best friends to untangle those "branches of a vine" that happen when best friends are married.

  6. downpourofwords profile image39
    downpourofwordsposted 12 years ago

    Yes it is very much possible as long as emotions are kept under control and the future is in mind rather than the past

  7. JEDIJESSICUH profile image77
    JEDIJESSICUHposted 11 years ago

    I think it's completely possible to be friends with an ex, but not all people can handle it. If you break someone's heart, they have to be able to forgive you before they can be friends with you. I have an ex who I dated off-and-on for four years and who swore up and down we were going to get married, but we don't talk at all anymore. I married someone else and he will never forgive me, because of that we will never be friends.

    It depends on who you are as a person and the circumstances of that relationship.

  8. AllSuretyBonds profile image58
    AllSuretyBondsposted 11 years ago

    I think it can be possible. Most cases it may take time to be able to have that friendship again. Also if you are in another relationship it may be harder to keep old ones.

  9. pajamazzon profile image61
    pajamazzonposted 11 years ago

    I can' will suck. its time to move on!

  10. Ayse profile image60
    Ayseposted 11 years ago

    I'm certain it is.  However, I could never do it.  Personally, when it's over it's, over! Maybe it's just me but, if I decided not to be in a relationship with someone, it's most likely for many reasons.  Something about that person will tick me off, always.  So, I see no reason at all.  I count it as, been there-done that scenario.


  11. jmartin1344 profile image75
    jmartin1344posted 11 years ago

    It hasn't worked for me after about 3 months.  It never will until both parties are completely over the other in my opinion.  In this situation one of the two is always going to be suffering and is likely to bring their feelings up at some point.  If after a while both parties are completely moved on then I'd like to thing it works.

  12. VJSacino profile image60
    VJSacinoposted 11 years ago

    I think that it can be possible, but extremely hard, depending on the conditions. For instance, how the relationship ended makes a big difference in whether or not a broken up couple can remain friends. Honestly, I have seen it fail. I also tend to think that if two people once had feelings for each other, even if they don't anymore, there will still always be that underlying feeling of hostility, guilt, pain, or maybe even regret. So, in all reality—and I'm sorry to be such a downer—I don't find it likely to work out very well at all, except maybe in rare cases. I actually think that it might end up being more painful—especially when your ex won't stop talking to you about their new target...

  13. GabbyComrie profile image56
    GabbyComrieposted 11 years ago

    yes. absolutely. I have exes whom I remained closed until today. you two connected and formed a bond in your past relationship. even it did not end well, you cannot just throw that bond away. and it feels great being friend with your ex-partner really.

  14. LonghornGI profile image60
    LonghornGIposted 11 years ago

    I feel that it depends on why you stopped being lovers in the first place. In the case of infidelity, I think that it would be difficult, on either side. But if the relationship just fizzled out or became too difficult to sustain ie: long distance, etc. then absolutely.  I have had many lovers in my life and some I am friends with...some..not so much.

  15. whiplashinfo profile image61
    whiplashinfoposted 11 years ago

    Certainly yes! I had proven that it is possible. If the broke was done in a "nice manner", then time can heal the pain. You can be friends with each other.

  16. saxrunner profile image87
    saxrunnerposted 11 years ago

    I suppose it is possible, but much more difficult than people think while they are still together. My experience has been one of serious distance put between the two of us, so much so that I hardly would consider us "friends." Friendship takes work, and if one party is bitter or still angry about the previous relationship it puts up a serious roadblock towards becoming close. You have to completely relearn how to function around and with the other person again.

  17. kestrana profile image75
    kestranaposted 11 years ago

    Absolutely. I'm still friends with former boyfriends even though I'm married, and my husband is also friends with some of his exes. It helps to have parted amicably and it may take some time to return to being friends. The friendship is often different than it was before you dated - but that doesn't mean it's worse.

  18. Kannibalc profile image59
    Kannibalcposted 11 years ago

    I would say it depends on how honest the lovers were with each other from the start. All relationships have their ups and downs and require work if you were trying to be friends with someone you had a relationship with but never fully knew then it would be a difficult task. What I am about to say may come as a surprise to some, a lot of people will tend to be more honest with their friends than lovers because there is a different level of physical intimacy and less pressure to impress that person because of it. I would say personally if two people honestly value each other for their "true selves" then they would value being in each others lives enough to make it work because it would be harder to live without someone who holds so much meaning as an individual in the others life.

    As far as keeping it platonic it would depend on the individual's ability to practice self restraint because when you truly love someone the feelings that go along with that never go away no matter how well you can push them towards the back of your mind.

  19. medihelp profile image58
    medihelpposted 11 years ago

    The answer from me is no. Because it was a matter of love. Though it was previous,it will remember me all times about those previous days that we were in love. So that it is impossible for me to remain friends with my previous lover.

  20. JIN1128 profile image90
    JIN1128posted 11 years ago

    It would have to be a no from me.  It is pretty much impossible because there were strong feelings there before.  The breakup is pretty much very bitter.  So, No.

  21. danielleantosz profile image77
    danielleantoszposted 11 years ago

    yes, but I think it depends upon how intense the relationship was and how much time has passed.

  22. LADYGIRL profile image60
    LADYGIRLposted 11 years ago

    Yes and No, If you were lover you could still remain friends, but there has to be some type of stipulation on your freindship.  However sometimes friends can still be lover, but the attachment is not there.  Meaning that,"you go your way, and I will go my way."  If that what you both agree with, than let it be.  But on the other hand you may have the agreement, but the feelings get lost in this platonic relationship, then it would be a mess.

  23. montelka profile image80
    montelkaposted 11 years ago

    yes, it is! but it's a bad idea...a very bad one!

  24. cejae profile image60
    cejaeposted 11 years ago

    Maybe I'm out of step with a lot of the world today, but I think you should be friends before you become lovers and stay friends while you are lovers and then

    Why not work at it and still be friends after the love affair is over.

  25. shanaya profile image59
    shanayaposted 11 years ago

    Absolutely possible. If you can forgive or the other person also than both can still remain Friends.

  26. petexanh profile image59
    petexanhposted 11 years ago

    All things are possible, but it's important not to be in denial about your feelings towards your ex, and vice versa. If either of you, consciously or unconsciously, are wishing for something more than the other, then it will probably fall in a heap.

  27. lbramos profile image61
    lbramosposted 11 years ago

    Yes, I think it's possible. In my case, it doesn't happen very often but I've remained friends with 1 of my 3 last girlfriends.
    It depends on how your relationship ends, how you move on with your life, and several other factors!
    Sometimes it's good to remain friends, others it simply isn't... It will make you worse than better so... just move on!
    And remember that life keeps making big twists without notice, and perhaps you'll meet again in the future with one of your previous lovers and decide to reactivate that friendship smile

  28. Stephen Kalu profile image73
    Stephen Kaluposted 11 years ago

    Yes, its 100% possible. That you are no longer in a relationship with a person doesn't mean that you too cant be friends again,its only those who are ignorant does that.

  29. Hepburn@Birth profile image60
    Hepburn@Birthposted 11 years ago

    Yes, I believe so. I think of a previous relationship ended on a healthy and mature note as something like an article of clothing or a favorite toy you outgrew. It's not really something you can use anymore, but you hate to throw it away.

    Sometimes you reach a point where you realize it is no longer moving in the direction you wish to be traveling. In some cases (actually, probably most), I believe it takes some time before the friendship kicks back in gear. It seems very normal for one person in the relationship to not be on board with the separation, but eventually, they understand. Some people find that they actually make better platonic friends than they do lovers.

    I also think there are many situations in which a maintaining a friendship is nearly impossible, and at times, unhealthy. But with two level-headed people talking about what's best for their future, and keeping each other honest, it is very possible.

  30. fpherj48 profile image61
    fpherj48posted 11 years ago

    Sure, it's possible.  I feel this would depend on several aspects.  How long were you in a relationship with the person.  Was the realtionship more enjoyable than not?  and finally, did it end amicably, without a lot of anger or bitterness?  I have remained "casually" friendly with a couple of previous  boyfriends.  There doesn't seem to be a valid reason not to be.  Then there are the few that I wouldn't even want to pass on the street.

  31. Katya Drake profile image61
    Katya Drakeposted 11 years ago

    Yes. Been there, done that. The only time it works is when neither person has romantic feelings for each other anymore. If one still has feelings they just end up hurt but if you both face and deal with the reality that it just wasnt meant to be, then there is no reason not to be friends.

  32. iloveglee83 profile image59
    iloveglee83posted 11 years ago

    I use to think no, but recently I have started talking to an ex of 10 years and we are actually better friends now then we were as bf/gf  all those years ago. However, we did have 10 years to get past why we broke up and all the crap that went on in our relationship so that may have helped the situation some because I don't think I could be friends with someone I just broke up with.


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