Is it possible to remain friends with an ex partner?

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   Singlesstreetlifeposted 14 years ago

   When a relationship ends is it best to cut all ties or is possible that you can maintain a relationship of friendship with your ex

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      kmackey32posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Sure... I have..

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      IzzyMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think it depends on a lot of things, like the proximity of the person (if they live nearby), or how long the relationship lasted, how nasty the split was etc, but I do believe that once both partners have got over the initial hurt, then yes they can be friends.

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      Norah Caseyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      You should do what you feel most comfortable with. I tried staying friends with an ex for a short while and regretted it for both our sakes. If you two get along well and didn't suffer a rough break-up, it may work out just fine.
      
      I suggest tossing a coin. Call it in the air (heads = stay friends, for example). Cover it when it lands, and think of what you want it to be. Don't look at it! What is your gut reaction? I don't make many decisions this way, only the ones where I can see a valid argument in each direction. I certainly don't use this method to moderate on HubPages

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      pburgerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Why would someone want to keep seeing a person they just ex-ed; that contradicts the act of ex-ing...

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      stevewongposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      i've tried, and personally it doesn't work.  this is especially true if you find a new SO.

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         Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Do you know why it didn't work?

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      leebertteaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I suppose it's possible though I haven't done so. I am cordial with my ex but I don't maintain a friendship, after all, there is a reason why we're not together, we don't share the same interests. However if she was as enthusiastic as I am about the same things then we could be friends.

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2. 73

   Richieb799posted 14 years ago

   Maybe, I cant tell you for sure yet, Ive had a few serious girlfriends, one last year ended badly, both too competitive.. and one I finished with and she was upset for a while and then we were intimate together after 4 months last weekend, was reckless of me

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      kmackey32posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thats bad...lol

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         SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         guess it depends on your definition of 'friend'...
         
         Not sure if a new partner really, really appreciates an ex in the pic as a 'friend' - just my thoughts.  some people try to be friends if they had children - but again don't really think it is an easy task to accomplish - guess it depends on what happened in the 'split' in the first place.  never kept in touch with old intimate relationships - not all that interested in doing that - moved on.....and didn't look back...ouch!  i guess i could be sounding 'harsh'  ....my 2 cents.

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         Richieb799posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         LOL, I'm not sure, think shes a bit of a dark horse, she text me saying she wanted to stay over.. and she was a bit drunk..but she had a short relationship during the split..so shes obviously confident without me

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            SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            might as well just call it what it is.  u r  both obviously single and just getting it on - nothing wrong with that as long as no one gets hurt.  but the word 'friend' doesn't come to mind for me - maybe some kinda' buddy?

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      blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      You are only human Ritchie with needs just like everyone else.

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         Richieb799posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I know, we are both going traveling on the weekend too, its weird, I don't like being single.. who knows we may end up getting back together but I don't think I will 'love' love her

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            Singlesstreetlifeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Be careful of mixing emotions. You don't want to hurt her or yourself!

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   MalibuWriterposted 14 years ago

   You might still be attracted to each other, which would raise complications once you both find new partners, but it's worth a shot at keeping the friendship alive. Since you two would be close, you can offer good advice to each other as well as a valuable friendship.

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   Ghost32posted 14 years ago

   Of my six ex-wives (no, not fiction, not joking), 2 remain friends to this day.  The other four, not so much...
   
   Guess that song really does apply in my case:
   
   Standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona
   Seven women on my mind....

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      SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      LOL.  my ex's grandfather was married 8 times and told the last one (he died) he was only married 3 x.  we were sworn to secrecy.  don't know how many turned up to say 'bye bye'. 
      
      i think Willie Nelson sang something about all his wives living in texas....

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5. 83

   donotfearposted 14 years ago

   I think it depends on the relationship and the circumstances of it ending. 
   
   Heck, I'm friends with my son's bio-dad even though he was physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive and controlling. Reason I'm able to put it behind me is that this man has made an amends to me for his horrible treatment of me. He apologized to me, asked my forgiveness, and helped me out on a couple of occasions. Amazing what an apology will do. Of course, we don't call each other and pal around, but I'd be there in a minute if he needed me.
   
   As for Ex number 2: Took the guy years to quit sneering at me. Hated my guts, but at least he's civil to me now because of the grandson. He actually tossed me a penny once in public (very insulting). I don't actually consider him a friend. At least he's civil.
   
   As for other folks....especially the one's who've been crapped on badly by the other: If there was any form of apology it would make it a lot easier to remain friends. ONE CAN Forgive without an apology for sure. But with a gesture of amends it makes it an open door for a 'friends only' relationship.

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   KCC Big Countryposted 14 years ago

   I met my first husband when I was 14, he was 16. We dated for 4 yrs until I graduated from high school and we got married.  We were married for 23 yrs.  We remain very good friends.  We've both remarried and live next door to each other on the same acreage.  It sure makes it easier on my daughter that we can all get along.  She's almost 18 and wonders why other divorced parents can't get along as well as we all do. 
   
   Like someone before me said, it really depends on the nature of the breakup.  From there, it depends on how well each wants it to work.

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      Singlesstreetlifeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Agreed.

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   Ben Evansposted 14 years ago

   I think it is good if you can remain friends with your ex.  It is good if you dont carry a resentment.
   
   The problem is that often we are very angry and hurt after a relationship breaks up.  That makes it hard especially if there are no ties like children. 
   
   If there are children, I believe both people in the relationship need to put aside their differences for the sake of the children. 
   
   If there arent any children, I think it would be nice but at that point a person has to what is best for themselves.

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   Greek Oneposted 14 years ago

   yes it is
   
   my best friend is my ex 9and her husband), and I am friends with a number of my former girlfriends.
   
   My wife knows that I am totally committed to her and only her.
   Plus, I am hideous, so no one else would want me

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      Joy56posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      your  wife must not think you are hideous, but if you say so.

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   newguccimaneposted 14 years ago

   I suppose it depends on a lot of things, especially the kind of people you are. Some people just can't be friends and one of the exes may have hopes or wants to mend the relationship sometime in the future so it could possible lead one of them on... Personally, I'm great friends with all of my exes and still love them to death and would do anything for them. I'm just not IN LOVE with them.

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    Deborah Demanderposted 14 years ago

    It's a nice theory. Hard to practice though. First off, the ex can't be pissed off at you. Second, it takes some time for all the hurts, wrongs and harsh feelings to stop hurting. I think it is possible, with enough time.

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    optimus grimlockposted 14 years ago

    You can it depends on how mature the parties are. I try'd it once and foundout it wasnt the best for my life but then again my family was against her. That was one of the 2 times I've ignored my gut feeling and paid for it. Tip of the day when you get the feeling you shouldn't do something dont do it!!!

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    1. 60

       Singlesstreetlifeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Agreed.

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