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What is the best way to politely turn someone down when he/she asks you out?
I hate saying no. And hurting people's feelings. How can I turn people down without DYING inside?
You could lie and say you have a boyfriend or just keep telling them you are busy which after awhile they should get the hint. Unfortunately, no matter what you do, they will feel somewhat hurt and rejected and there is nothing you can do about that. As long as you don't lead them on, it will hurt a lot less though. Good luck!
This is also a problem for me. I normally lie: I have another appointment, or I'm busy with a time-consuming project, or whatever.
And then I still dies inside.
There really is no nice way to turn someone down without hurting his feelings at least a little. I usually try the lines, "I am currently not dating right now. It is nothing personal; I am just not ready to date anyone." Of course, then that means I can't date anyone else anytime soon since I don't want to lie. Usually that is not a problem though. No one is beating down the door to take me out on numerous dates anyway.
This is a long way from my usual subjects (!) but the way I see it is as follows:
- there are only two things that matter - your feelings and theirs
- comfortable avoidance of the truth (gentle lies) may come easy at the time but are only going to cause you both further discomfort (at best) in the longer term
- if the request comes from what has been a friendship, the friendship can be saved but only if it is (however painfully) addressed and defined at the time
"Honesty is the best policy" is a cliche and is used perhaps all too often in the modern world by people who don't always mean what they say. Particularly in a situation like this, however, although the truth may hurt at the time, it can save far greater hurt in the longer term - for both parties.
The sad truth is that it is an issue which should be faced and tactfully addressed head on, whether that be over a coffee, a drink, or whatever. Very much a case of short term pain for - not necessarily long term gain - but definitely the avoidance of excessive long term pain.
Just say: no thank you. You do not even know that person and maybe only seen them running around in your daily activities. Do this and the dying inside will stop completely as you say no thank you. If someone ask you about eating, drinking, smoking, you would say no thank you without a second thought and so it is with someone who ask you out. So start practicing it now privately in your home saying no thank you and this will set you free from dying inside. Just say it now and for the rest of your life.
Simply telling them you are not interested in them. No better way then to be honest about your feelings towards them. Honesty is key
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