If you found out [s]he cheated on you. When you forgive her, what do you do to f

Jump to Last Post 1-6 of 6 discussions (6 posts)
  1. ubanichijioke profile image75
    ubanichijiokeposted 7 years ago

    If you found out [s]he cheated on you. When you forgive her, what do you do to forget?

    If you found out [s]he cheated on you. When you forgive her, what do you do to forget the past and make the relationship work again?

  2. The Bucket Lister profile image61
    The Bucket Listerposted 7 years ago

    I don't think I could forgive cheating. But if you are willing to do it, you probably should have a conversation with her to find out what lead her astray and how you can work together so it doesn't happen again. Good luck!

  3. nikipa profile image70
    nikipaposted 7 years ago

    I agree with The Bucket Lister... If it happened you should both discuss the created situation, what caused it and find out what to do next... If there is still something to save in your relationship then why not forgive... Anyway, in my opinion it can be really difficult.

  4. saanj H profile image75
    saanj Hposted 7 years ago


    I think cheating and lying are the two things that I hate the most. if he/ she cheats then this would have been a very difficult situation for me coz I cannot tolerate cheating. But given a chance i would like to give an opportunity to him/her to tell me the main reason that led him/her to cheat me. I think I would still give a chance coz I think every person should be given a chance to rectify his/ her mistakes. If a chance is not given then it would be unfair.

  5. dashingscorpio profile image87
    dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago

    I suppose the real question is "How do you trust again?"
    In all honesty you're never going to FORGET!

    Before we jump to "forgiveness" I think it's important to take a little time apart for ourselves. This may be over a weekend, week, or whatever it takes for one to sort through the range of emotions we feel after being betrayed.

    Some people shoot for forgiveness immediately as a "reflex action." The shock of being cheated on and having the relationship end is too much for them to handle at one time. These are the people that will say or do anything to avoid breaking up. Several weeks later things start bubbling up inside of them. The anger and hurt is still there but now if they express it they look like a liar to the person they "forgave". A part of them is angry because in some way they feel that by forgiving they have let the other person off the hook. This is why I say it's important to take some time for yourself so you might figure out if you "really" can forgive before you promise to do so! Don't make the mistake of "forgiving" someone who is not sincerely asking to be "forgiven". If they blame you for "their actions" that's a clue they felt "justified".

    The next step is to ask yourself why you want to forgive someone who has betrayed you on a deep level. Is it because "you love them very much" or because "you don't love yourself enough?" Only YOU can do the instropsective thinking to determine what your true motivations are in forgiving your mate. In all honesty. (We forgive to free oursleves) You can forgive someone and breakup with them.

    Be realistic!
    If in the end you decide to forgive, you and your mate have to know it will take (time on your part) and (effort on their part) to build TRUST again.
    You'll know if your mate is sincere about wanting your forgiveness by the way they act. They will voluntarily let you know where they are or plan to be,  show you "extra love and appreciation" for giving them a second opportunity, share their concerns with you openly and encourage you to do the same. To forgive someone means that you will not hold what they did over their head. You both are going to learn from the past and build a better future. If however you determine that you just can't get past it then you owe it to her to let her know. Don't play the "revenge cheating game" where you take someone back just so you can hurt them the way they hurt you. Life is short. Walk away if you aren't happy being with someone.

  6. ubanichijioke profile image75
    ubanichijiokeposted 7 years ago

    To dashingscorpio who dedicated time, energy and interest just to reach my heart i say 'YOU STAND amoNG THE BEST OF THE BEST'

    the bucket lister, you re a good friend in times of need. Thanks for your kind advice.

    Nikipa my good friend, how fantastic your great advice proved to be. It was invaluable and to
    Saanj H, I can't stop saying 'thank you'. You made my day a sweet one.

    Thanks to y'all my friends for helping me in my time of distress. God bless


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)