Can you forgive your partner/spouse/gf if they cheated on you?

1. 63

   alexandriaruthkposted 12 years ago

   Can you forgive your partner/spouse/gf if they cheated on you?
   
   Granting that your loved one cheated on you and is asking for forgiveness, are you going to forgive them and try to work it out or you will just walk away?

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2. 59

   Vincentrobin Omanposted 12 years ago

   yes because you can also make a mistake. Even God say we should for give each other so forgive.

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3. 0

   JThomp42posted 12 years ago

   Absolutely not. The most important thing in a relationship is trust. Once that is broken it is almost impossible to trust that person again. What betrayal tells you is their wants, needs, feelings are more important than the bond that you shared. To answer Vince's comment.... The Bible states that is the only reason for divorce is adultery.

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4. 82

   junksellerposted 12 years ago

   Once upon a time I would have been unable to. Their cheating would have invalidated something which I needed. But having my needs dependent on another is a problem of my own making. I am not past that entirely, but I am beginning to understand it.
   
   Ultimately I hope to get to a point where my needs are all fulfilled by being right with the world. In such a state, their cheating has no need to hurt me. I may still decide that they either don't want to or can not bring anything of positive value to my life, but how I evaluate them should be based entirely on wanting what is best for them.
   
   From this perspective, their cheating can mean many things. It might be that they have an attachment to the other person, in which case they may need to be let go in order to explore it. It could be that they have needs which are being unfulfilled. The mistake in that case, isn't that they tried to fulfill them, but that we didn't have a strong enough relationship to figure it out together. Their transgression, than, is an opportunity to forge a stronger bond. It could also be a simple moment of weakness. This makes them very human and probably means they feel terrible about it. Punishment and anger does nothing for them. Forgiveness and love, however, do.
   
   That doesn't mean trust isn't important, but we should want trust in others because it makes them a better person, not as a way to protect ourselves.

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5. 72

   lburmasterposted 12 years ago

   Nope. He cheats, he's gone. We have already talked about it and agree.

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   1. 51

      Butterfly1974posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I was with a guy for 5 yrs he cheated every yr same time every yr and I forgave him but believe he to that for granted as then he asked me to marry him I agreed and then two months later after we marry he cheats again, I left him not forgive thistime

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   2. 72

      lburmasterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You should have left that man years ago, but it takes a lot of strength to leave.

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6. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   Forgiveness does not automatically mean a person wants to "work things out". It just means they are going to let it go and move on mentally. Holding onto things imprisons the person who was hurt. For example a couple that has a child will always be connected even if they divorce or breakup. The act of forgiveness makes it possible to focus their attention on co-parenting or keeping the child's welfare as their number one priority.
   Personally speaking having my significant other cheat on me would lead to the end of the relationship. Honesty is the foundation for all relationships. You can't trust someone who is not honest. Cheaters lie directly, indirectly. or by omission.

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7. 0

   vinexshopposted 12 years ago

   No i will not because Trust is a thing which is most important for any relationship.

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8. 47

   padmendraposted 12 years ago

   You need to have a courageous heart to forgive someone who has cheated  on you specially the delicate relation like partner, spouse or a girl friend. But  to be very frank  even if you don't forgive them they won't change their cheating habit  as people of this nature generally remain as they are.  On the other hand, no one wants to be drained of the energy by carrying the feeling of cheating. As such the importance is your peace of mind and for this cause forgiving them is the best   way though they don't deserve forgiveness.

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9. 69

   Admiral Murrahposted 12 years ago

   A review of some of the issues involved in forgiving spouses who have cheated. read more

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