There is a rule that expalins separations. its a called the 80/20 rule. It states that in 100% of the relationships, people get 80% of what they were looking for and miss 20%. The problem is that we soon meet someone else that has the 20% we were missing then we realize how much we want the 20%. So we leave the 80% we have in order to go for the 20% only to realize later on that now we have the 20% but we lost the 80%....some try to get back the 80% but in most cases its too late....
However, there are also situations when we got 20% but then we meet someone else with the 80%, that is when we should remember the advice that "Flight is better than fight"
Each of us chooses our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
If you go to the store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead....Whose fault is that?
As difficult as it may be to do we have to look at (Why) we chose this person to let into our hearts. Did we make our decision based upon awareness of facts we learned about them along the way or Did we go with the flow, chemistry, or opted to roll the dice....etc "Why not?"
The first thing one must do is some introspective thinking to determine what traits THEY want and need in a mate. (That's the easy part). The next step is having the discipline to stick to our own "shopping list". (That's the hard part). Often times we just go with our attraction/chemistry for the individual when deciding to open up to them. Most people aren't willing to invest the time to truly get to know if a person has the traits they say they want and need. Some people fall for "potential" and cry foul when it's not realized. You are much better off finding someone who already (is) what you want. Keep in mind YOU are "the shopper" in your life! No one can force a relationship upon you. The more experience we have the better we become at looking out for our best interest when it comes to finding a suitable partner. You learn to make relationship decisions with your mind and not your heart. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart. Best of luck!
It should be noted some people believe you can't help who you fall in love with. The truth is we are always "deciding" whether to say Yes or No.
http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/ … rongpeople
obtain all the closure you need from that situation. do all in your power to have a meaningful conversation with this person to see where things went wrong. find out what they felt you did wrong or could have done better and vice versa. then moving forward make sure you take enough time to heal. that tends to be one of the biggest mistakes we as humans make we dont take enough time to heal before trying to jump back into a relationship and this causes problems that will persist to ruin any chance of ever having anything lasting or meaningful. reevaluate the things you are looking for and make sure your expectations are realistic. spend some quality time with yourself and this may sound weird but its essential. go to the gym, take a walk in the park, go to the library, take a day at the spa......do something for yourself and with yourself. take a break from listening to your friends talk about their realtionships and just heal....heal... and learn how to be alone and then when you are not looking you will find your partner possible at the gym or library or church. make sure you are capable of being open, honest, and most importantly free to love
The "factual" me, says, endure, make the best of it.............but that could take decades.
Own up................own up to having make a great and grave mistake.
Take care, provide for, ensure the needs of any children that might have been born or effected by this union............
Go on, pay the price of disappointment, let down, go on, live better, know better in the tomorrows.
Learn about the error, be it choice or commitment that you made.......and do not make the same error again.
Go on and go forward..
We are allowed..........1, second chance......after that, the fault is ours.
by RichusFridum 5 years ago
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