Is it important for you mate to get along with the in-laws?

1. 72

   poeticmentorposted 13 years ago

   Is it important for you mate to get along with the in-laws?
   
   How important is it exactly that the person you choose to be with get along with your family? I do not care for my husbands family and it is causing stress.  What to do? what to do?
   
   

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2. 72

   poeticmentorposted 13 years ago

   My mistake I meant...*YOUR* mate. I am writing with limited light so please respond I need advice.

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3. 62

   freecampingaussieposted 13 years ago

   It does make for an easier life if everyone gets along and makes a happier life for the two of you especially if living close by and you never know in life when they can be there to help you.
   Depending on why you don't care for them ( if criminals , really bad people fair enough ) why not try take the time to understand them better ? Life is too short to have stress in your life if it can be avoided .
   There are people dealing with horror lives on a daily basis - loss of loved one- terminal illness etc it seems a shame to not try get on.
   I didn't always like the way my inlaws were ,( They were & still are good kind people ) however I made an effort & took my girls to see them, wrote to them etc /
   Hope this helps !

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4. 82

   Escobanaposted 13 years ago

   Anything causing stress in life is bad. Is it the way they talk to you? The way they make you feel? What is causing that stress really?
   
   Did you give up on having a nice relationship with them? Do you want to have a nice relationship with them? Do they want the same thing?
   
   I'd like to know for myself, how important it is to feel good about my relationship with my inlaws. To me it's very important. If things don't go that easy, if the relationship is causing stress, I'd want to resolve it.
   
   Stress is bad. For anyone. To me it's even more important to eliminate any kind of stress. After trying to resolve things, I normally feel much more relaxed, meaning the relationship works much better, or stepping back, having less contact and accepting another less satisfying relationship with my inlaws.
   
   Improvement of relationships with any kind of person, depends on the effort of both sides. Hope I helped you out a little bit:-)

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5. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 13 years ago

   I think it (can) be important depending on how close your spouse is with his/her family. By close I mean if he or she expects to see family frequently throughout the year. The person you marrry determines how important it is to get along with their family. Hopefully one figures that out during the dating process.
   
   When I lived on the West Coast and my mother was in the Midwest I saw her maybe every other year. We talked on the phone every week. In my case we elected not to have children. Sometimes when there are grandchildren there is an expectation to have more interaction with in-laws.
   My wife's mother lives about an hour away from us and we see her two to three times a year and those times aren't on holidays either!
   They do talk on the phone once or twice a week but it's usually while she's at work. Neither one of us feels "obligated" to spend ever holidays, birthdays, or Mother's/Father's Day with family. Thankfully our families also don't have an "expectation" for us to do so either. When we do get togehter we always have a nice time. Everyone is busy doing his or her own thing. Nothing is "forced". When you get married it's important to realize you are not just marrying one person you're becoming part of a "family lineage". If you aren't keen on what you see you have to realize those things aren't likely to change after saying, "I do".

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