What's more important in a marriage; passion or security?

1. 60

   Libra Rajaniposted 13 years ago

   What's more important in a marriage; passion or security?
   
   If you could only choose one, what would it be? Would you get a divorce if your marriage lacked one or the other?

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   1. 86

      gmwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      The contrarian strikes again........
      
      
      Why can't it be BOTH!  Yes, I said BOTH.  Let me explain the logic behind the two components.  People first marry because of passion then they remain together because of security, especially socioeconomic security that marriage brings.  Both passion & security are important in a marriage.

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2. 73

   dashingscorpioposted 13 years ago

   If I could only have "one" from the union I would choose "passion". I have never needed anyone for financial reasons. As for divorce I believe each of us is entitled to have our own "deal breakers". I would consider both "passionless" and "financial ruins" due to the actions of my spouse as grounds for going our separate ways. The best marriages are between people who want the same things & have the same priorities/values. One man's opinion! :-)

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3. 85

   wonderful1posted 13 years ago

   By all means, passion! Marriage for any other reason is pointless. Staying with someone for security comes from a place of choosing out of fear instead of love for yourself. I agree with what dashingscorpio said about the dealbreakers, too. Life is too short to let fear guide you. The ultimate in happiness comes from making choices that come from self-love.

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4. 59

   Will1015posted 13 years ago

   I will go along with dashingscorpio and wonderful1, and assume that you mean financial security. That being the case, definitely passion. In times of financial hardships (like many of us are going through these days), passion will give you the drive and determination to work together and get through the difficult times.

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5. 60

   nightwork4posted 13 years ago

   passion. to me security comes with just being together happily but if there is no passion, then security is just a stones' throw away from being lost.

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6. 61

   krissyp386posted 13 years ago

   It depends on your priorities, being truly happy (passion) where there is laughter and expression or pretending to be happy (security) where there are material things such as money.

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7. 62

   pb3131posted 13 years ago

   Scientific studies of long term relationships (longer than 20 years) have shown that THREE things are required to make it in the long run:
   
   1. Passion (sex)
   2.Commitment (determination to make it work no matter what)
   3.Communication (ability to discuss the most intimate and important issues with your partner)
   
   At different times, one may be more important than another - like passion in the early stages or commitment in the later stages of life. And, you can have a pretty good relationship with any two of them for a while.
   
   For a relationship to last a lifetime, you have to have all three. If any one of these is missing in your marriage, and there is NO chance that you can get it back, time to move on.
   
   Financial insecurity, while it destroys many relationships, is irrelevant if you have these three.
   
   By communicating honestly about the finances and commiting to the idea that the relationship is most important, you should be able to work it out. And if the passion is there you will want to make it work!

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8. 83

   Robert Erichposted 13 years ago

   Both can lead to failure. The key to an AWESOME relationship is to forget about yourself and live a quality life focused on making the world a better place. Once you run into someone with the same passion and desire to provide security to others, you will both end up in an incredible relationship filled with both of the above.
   
   Seek out happiness, and you'll never be content. Work to make others happy, and happiness will find you.

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9. 60

   THEHuG5posted 13 years ago

   Oh this is a good question! I would say passion. I don't think I would get divorced if my marriage lacked security, I can provide that for myself. I wouldn't get married in the first place if their was no passion and if the passion went away for some reason well...we'd have a big problem.

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10. 71

    onegoodwomanposted 13 years ago

    These matters are not for the multitudes.
    
    
    Let each married spouse choose their own, without ridicule or judgement.
    
    
    We, as a society, are not privy to such private matters.
    
    I will not ask others of such things, and you would be too bold to ask me of such.
    
    Intimate friends, might be privy to such confidences..............but the public at large is not.................
    
    NO, do not ask me of the state of my marriage.
    
    
    Do NOT DARE to think, that I would tell you of a plan to divorce my spouse, before, I told him first............The very idea is intrusive and arrogant.

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