In a lesbian/gay couple do you feel like there MUST be a masculine figure?

Jump to Last Post 1-12 of 12 discussions (12 posts)
  1. OutOfMyHead profile image55
    OutOfMyHeadposted 6 years ago

    In a lesbian/gay couple do you feel like there MUST be a masculine figure?

  2. atlovesbm profile image74
    atlovesbmposted 6 years ago

    I think the masculine/feminine roles are expected and often stereotyped because they were created between hetero couples (obviously) so it makes people believe that there needs to be a feminine/masculine balance. I honestly don't believe that these roles NEED to exist in a gay relationship. In my relationship with my wife we are both pretty feminine. We both wear make-up, dresses, etc. If you mean a physical balance, I don't think it's absolutely necessary but everyone is different and has different styles. I mean, the point of being a lesbian is being attracted to someone of the SAME sex, right? It doesn't make sense to me to date someone of the same sex who resembled someone of the opposite. But people like what they like, I don't judge.

  3. profile image0
    The Writers Dogposted 6 years ago

    My relationship is slightly different. I am a pre-op M-F transsexual with a partner whose only same sex experience was with the standard thirteen year old comparing of equipment with his best friend. I am a real girly-girl - makeup, nails, hair, clothes, and he is the undisputed masculine figure in the relationship.
    Mind you, he is brilliant in the kitchen!

  4. profile image0
    icountthetimesposted 6 years ago

    I think it's an expectation that there should be a masculine figure, but in reality I don't really think that is the case. Even in many heterosexual relationships, yes there is a man, but is there always a masculine figure? It implies that the male makes the decisions or is the breadwinner, when often nowadays neither of those things are true. Even if they were, I don't think homosexual relationships should aim to necessarily heterosexual ones. If there just so happens to be a more masculine figure out of the two then great, if there isn't that's no big deal either. It's all about finding a path that works for the individual couple. There's no magic formula or check box list.

  5. juiwei2000 profile image61
    juiwei2000posted 6 years ago

    Definitly wierd if there ain't one, but honestly who cares?  It is a free country for chris sake

  6. duffsmom profile image60
    duffsmomposted 6 years ago

    Quite honestly, I don't give any thought to those relationships.   Makes me feel a little queasy.

  7. xethonxq profile image65
    xethonxqposted 6 years ago

    No, I don't think there MUST be a masculine figure...but, sometimes it seems like that's how it plays out. Not always...but sometimes.

  8. Grime Remix profile image60
    Grime Remixposted 6 years ago

    Thank you for this question.  It's not required and usually depends on the couple.  If the two of you identify with either masculine or feminine then the relationship will model behind that concept.  If the two of you identify as both fem for example then most likely you'll see that sort of dynamic between the two of you.  If you can rise above labels or stereotypes and simple see a person there, the person you love you'll enjoy  a real connection.

  9. joejagodensky profile image60
    joejagodenskyposted 6 years ago

    Yes, there will always be a masculine and feminine in relationships, all relationships straight or gay.  The two even exists within each of us.  Carl Jung studied this and presents a clear understanding of the two and their relationship within a relationship.  Many marriages may have the male as the feminine.  Welcome to the dynamics of life.  Thanks the question.

  10. WishhingGirl profile image59
    WishhingGirlposted 6 years ago

    I always find it interesting that some couples don't need a the female and male. I know if I was in a lesbian relationship I would feel uncomfortable having to chose what role to play, there  might be times that I would want to be the girl and maybe even the guy. I don't think you need to have one of each is what i am really saying

  11. jlpark profile image80
    jlparkposted 5 years ago

    No there doesn't.  My partner and I are more a mix of both femme, and androgynous together.  I don't like dresses, but will wear one from time to time - yet, I'm not butch.
    Yes, there needs to be differences in a relationship, but not necessarily that one. I'm a gay woman, I like women. 

    In the 'heteronormative' way of thinking, yes there does have to be a masculine and feminine side - but there doesn't.  Two femmes are great together, two butch are great together, two femme/butch are great together, just as a butch lesbian and femme are great together. 

    We love who we love, gay bi trans and straight, it doesn't have to fit a stereotype.

  12. profile image52
    Mythical Icywolfposted 2 years ago

    Sorry, I have to continue what I was saying to Emily Sparks.

    I know what you're coming from and I understand why you could be mad. I am a Christian, but, I am also a lesbian. And I'm 12 (and in a relationship). But I also understand that God does not want you being a hater towards LGBT people. Even though He doesn't want people to be this way, he doesn't shun or dislike us. God loves ALL people and if you don't know that then how could you be Christian. And I know God apparently didn't make us born this way, but it's how we feel now. You don't understand how it feels like to be gay. You don't know how much hate you can get just from your sexual orientation. I'm not saying you have to condone us, just take it under consideration that we ARE people too. We have a reason for being this way. I used to be straight but then I found a girl and I knew she could make me happier than a man. If I could be straight again, I would. I think I speak for all gays when I say that. No one wants to feel like they're weird or get hate because of who they are.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)