For men, do you think all women are the same? For women, do you think all men are the same?
Recently and in the past, I've experienced and seen too many infidelities on the man's part, from close family members and potential in laws. It's forcing me to question if there really is a great divide between men and women when it comes to infidelity. I've always believed that every person is unique regardless of my past experiences. And I haven't been cheated on, but there is an adequate amount of fear that keeps me wondering why it is that this tendency towards extramarital affairs, or "cheating" is so fierce. It begs the question, would love thrive better under polyamorous conditions?
For some people it might, but definitely not for everyone. I myself could never be in a polyamorous relationship, because I have a very strong need for mutual trust.
The trouble with those kinds of relationships is mostly trust. Do you still trust your husband to love you, if he is also involved with someone else? And how much do you want to know about the "other people"? Would you still think of him as "your" husband/boyfriend/partner/...?
I believe affairs and cheating are often a way for people to express themselves when they are unhappy in a relationship. Only when your current relationship isn't working, you start looking for someone else who you can relate to, talk to, find other kinds of attention that you don't receive from your partner. That's the most difficult part about a long-term relationship: keeping it interested so you can stay committed.
In the end you only have to ask yourself one question: what does your heart tell you to do? Follow your heart, because if you don't, there's a strong chance you might regret it for the rest of your life.
Not really, it could be that we tend to fall for the same type
In the past, I was convinced that all men were: liars, cheaters and selfish. However, that changed when I met my husband. He opened my eyes to realize that the reason I believed men were like that, was because I was dating: liars, cheaters and selfish boobs. Obviously, I would think all men were the same when I kept dating the same type of guys. I believe that is the reason that these stereotypes come into play. It has been said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome, is it not?
Not all men are the same. That is entirely obvious to me. There are narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, extroversion, neuroticism, introverted, etc. Some relationships can thrive under polyamorous conditions and some cannot. Even so, it does add more possible issues in the relationship. However, a good couple can work around the issues. It depends on the two involved.
I hear this most often from women that have either just suffered a broken relationship or divorced. Sometimes, after time has passed and hearts have mended, they begin to think differently. I do believe there are men out there who have tendencies towards extramarital affairs for one reason or another. I also believe that there are a lot of men out there who are faithful, commited persons of character who prefer a long-lasting relationship. They key to a good relationship is to communicate and build trust.
Your question, and the answer, are both very complex.
For starters I believe infidelity is an equal opportunity offense. Thanks to the internet extramarrital afairs are easier than ever. Chatting, texting, emails, web cams, they all help to hide the affairs of those unhappy in their relationships.
So the real question is why are so many married people so unhappy they think having an affair is okay? I personally think it is a direct result of the changes in our society. We are becoming more and more addicted to instant gratification. People are in a rush to do everything, even dating and marriage. In an age of online dating and speed dating we expect immediate results to our relationship needs. Gone are the days when you met someone through a friend or co-worker. The experience of love at first site has died out because we dont' have the patience to let go and let the right person come into our lives. That takes too long and we can't control it.
We live in an instant gradification society. If you want to find a healthy cheat free relationship get out from behind the computer and enjoy life in the real world without forcing your will on the will of the universe.
Of course not all women or men are the same. We naturally focus our attention on behavior of those we don't approve of. As for infidelity anyone who has ever watched an episode of "Cheaters" or "The Maury Povich Show" AKA "You are not the father!" is certainly aware that women cheat. In fact it's been suggested that women get away with cheating more often than men. Not getting caught doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Fear and worry over something you have no control over is a waste of time and energy. All you can do is be as selective as you can about who you choose to be your mate. Hopefully you stay in tune to each others wants and needs while not neglecting one another or taking each other for granted. Don't let what "might happen" tomorrow keep you from enjoying the present.
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.”
- Corrie ten Boom
Not at all it needs lot of explanation. it is not possible on line.
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