Is cheating and infidelity worse than we've been led to believe?

1. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   Is cheating and infidelity worse than we've been led to believe?
   
   According to Infidelityfacts.com 57% of men and 54% of women have cheated in a relationship at some point in their lives. The article also states it's difficult to get a true percentage as people aren't always honest when answering survey questions. The article also stated: "Oftentimes It is (the fear of getting caught) rather than any sort of (admirable morality) which keeps a relationship monogamous." Do you believe 6 out of 10 people have cheated at least once in a relationship? Do you think more people would cheat if they knew they wouldn't be caught? Is monogamy natural?
   
   

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2. 67

   sockiiposted 9 years ago

   Yes, I believe it. I know many people who have either been cheated on or cheated. I think a long term monogamous relationship can be a lot of work to maintain, as it may not be what is natural to humankind. (Just look at many cultures and societies where polygamy is the norm instead.) It's easy for people to start looking or straying elsewhere instead of dealing with the problems that may exist at home, or keeping "the romance alive" after the initial excitement and thrill of a relationship is past.

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   1. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Good points. Oftentimes people do tend to slack off when it comes to "keeping the romance alive". Some may even believe commitment means you can "relax" and not put in the same effort because you know your mate won't go elsewhere.

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3. 71

   Aime Fposted 9 years ago

   I think it's hard to know for sure when there's no clear definition of cheating. I know people who consider watching porn or flirting to be cheating. Neither of those things bother me in my own relationships. If cheating was defined as just having physical intimacy with another person I'm guessing it would be much lower than those numbers.
   
   I do believe more people would cheat if they knew they wouldn't get caught, though.

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   1. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent point!
      Cheating can fall short of sexual intercourse in the eyes of many folks. Secret lunches/dinners/dates, sexting photos, online chats, kissing, flirting and using sexual innuendo...etc Cheating is in the eye of the beholder!

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4. 37

   ChristinSposted 9 years ago

   I think it's very likely true, possibly higher.  I've known many people who get cheated on and even several women who had boyfriends that cheated, but married them because they insisted that if they were married for whatever reason the guy wouldn't cheat anymore.  Silly, but it happens.
   
   I also think a lot of people would rather cheat than divorce, because divorce can be a very expensive proposition and leads to so much chaos. 
   
   As for monogamous relationships being natural - for some they are, but for others not so much, but there is societal pressure to marry and be monogamous so a lot of people who otherwise wouldn't feel they have to "settle down". 
   
   Then of course there's the whole "soul mate" endless romance myth that gets perpetuated and people have unrealistic expectations about relationships.  When that initial infatuation wears off they get disillusioned and seek that "thrill" someplace else - almost like an addictive behavior. 
   
   So many things feed into cheating - and of course as others mentioned, one persons "cheating" may not be a big deal to another person.

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   1. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Christin you covered everything! From  the society pressures to marry and be monogamous, "soul-mate" myth, and the fact that people cheat because they prefer it over going through a divorce! Cheaters also don't believe they will get caught!

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5. 71

   LoisRyan13903posted 9 years ago

   I would believe it.  I would think for every known case of infidelity-where the person is caught or admits to it-there are maybe 2-3 that never get found out.  The person might be very good at hiding it-such as not bringing the other person to their home and finding a safe place for them to be together.  Maybe he/she doesn't want to be found out and lies about it and the spouse believes it or would be very embarrassed if found out. I personally don't think you can get an accurate number.

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   1. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      You're probably right. There may be more people who have cheated and never been caught than there are those who were caught! Whenever someone is caught our natural inclination is to assume it's not their first time!

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6. 78

   Say Yes To Lifeposted 9 years ago

   According to my research, the number hovers around 22% for men and 15% for women.  Cheating is way overrated; you don't know what the other person will do, or if they have a disease, or trap you through blackmail, pregnancy, etc.  Since the other partner will most likely divorce once it is found out, you might as well cut to the chase and get divorced.  Most people who really give the matter thought realize it's not worth it.

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   1. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I suspect the reason why people cheat is because they don't want to go through a divorce. And yet they want to have whatever they feel is "missing" in their marriage.
      Most cheaters are like liars and thieves; they don't expect to be caught!

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   2. 78

      Say Yes To Lifeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      It also depends on how the poll was taken. In Hollywood and Washington DC., it is rampant; in healthier communities, it is far less prevalent.

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   3. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      It also depends on what each individual considers cheating.
      Some people don't call it cheating unless there is sexual intercourse. Others would consider it cheating if they caught them flirting, sexting, sending erotic emails, or kissing another

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7. 80

   Jade89posted 9 years ago

   I think true love equals monogamy. When you really love someone the thought of being with someone else whether as a fling, an affair or a one night stand makes you sick to the stomach. When you love someone monogamy and loyalty come naturally. When you don't have that true love you can get bored, you look for excuses to cheat ('you don't give me enough attention", "I was angry" etc). When you truly love nothing could push you to be with someone else.

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   1. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Very true!
      Being "in love" does make one want to be in a monogamous relationship.

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