Can you love someone enough to make them change?

1. 68

   Virtual Treasuresposted 13 years ago

   Can you love someone enough to make them change?
   
   I think we all know that it isn't possible, but why do so many people continue to try?

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2. 85

   Joelipooposted 13 years ago

   I don't think you can love someone to make them change.  That is not love if you are forcing them to become someone who they aren't.  You can manipulate someone and make them change.  I have seen that happen to friends.  I have a good friend who doesn't realize his wife has completely manipulated him and changed him to be like her in a self-centered way.

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3. 61

   duffsmomposted 13 years ago

   It isn't possible.  You cannot make someone else change regardless of the reason or how good it is for them or whatever.  Change comes from within that person and love should not be contingent on someone having to change.

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4. 58

   mcaneny23posted 13 years ago

   Is there anyone you consider that loves you too much and that you would be willing to change for?...
   I think that when you love someone too much and are expecting or trying to convince them to change you are forgetting to love yourself, first! And, if you don't love you the most then I can assure you that no one else will.
   Consider changing things about yourself. And then see if this "person" is still worthy of the love you are capable of feeling...

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5. 59

   MichaelStonehillposted 13 years ago

   If you love yourself enough to become your true self, than someone else may be able to learn from you how to love himself.

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6. 0

   msorenssonposted 13 years ago

   The desire to change anyone already tells you you don't love that person enough..I think that people try because they sincerely believe that they can make the person change..

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7. 67

   xethonxqposted 13 years ago

   No because it has nothing to do with us. Change comes from within.

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8. 70

   Angela Blairposted 13 years ago

   Love is what is -- not what could be. Physical attraction or plain old lust is often mistaken for love and quite often the reason one lover wants to change another to closer fit their ideal. Trying to change another is fertile ground for growing resentment in one or both partners. I have known a woman that did change a man enough (because he'd do all he could to please her) that he was no longer the man she fell in love with. Being in love is an "as is" situation. When great changes are demanded and  wrought in one or the other partner it becomes a "was" situation. The word "was" is definitely past tense -- and history.

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