Is it true that women tend to pick dates and mates with similar traits to their

Jump to Last Post 1-12 of 12 discussions (14 posts)
  1. brakel2 profile image80
    brakel2posted 6 years ago

    Is it true that women tend to pick dates and mates with similar traits to their own father?

  2. bethperry profile image92
    bethperryposted 6 years ago

    From a purely genetic-biological perspective I think women are guided (to a certain extent) by nature to seek out males with the strong attributes -or at least those similar to those of their fathers. Subsequently, women are also guided by nature to "cross-out" or disqualify those weaker attributes that don't help perpetuate the species. We are, of course, unaware of this when we are dating, for this is species survivalist drive at its most fundamental. But unlike most other species, the human female instinct is compromised -or helped, whichever the individual case may be- by the addition of psychological and spiritual components in making our final choice of a mate. A man can't just qualify in the strict biological sense of things but meet those requirements that the psyche and spirit needs and/or seeks. Often these needs are attributes that make for a man utterly different in every practical way from the father.

  3. anjalichugh profile image73
    anjalichughposted 6 years ago

    Simple question yet difficult to answer. smile Human race has evolved to such an extent that it has become somewhat impossible to generalize things. Being a witness to a drastic change that every man and woman on this planet has undergone, consciously / subconsciously, over the last decade, I have come to the conclusion that every human being is different. Until a decade ago, I could have safely categorized  women in one group and men in the other as far as differences in psychological framework are concerned, but as of today, I have to say every human being (whether a man or a woman) is different from the other.
         So to say, every woman is different and thinks differently from (even) her female counterparts. A lot depends on her life experience, her childhood, her bringing up etc. For instance, a woman who might have been abused by her father in her childhood would never want to date a man who reminds her of her father. However, she might have a tendency to attract the same type of men over and over again but that's another side of the story. Perhaps something to do with law of attraction.
         On the contrary, if a woman remembers her father as a very gentle, upright and principled man, she might want to have the same qualities in her mate. But again, there are women who think such men are boring and may look for mates who have an exciting and adventurous personality. (quite likely that such women may end up being disappointed, heart broken or cheated in the end but at least they would have tried someone different smile) It all depends on how much clarity a woman has in her thoughts and ideas regarding a man she wants in her life.
        It might seem that I didn't answer the question directly but in today's it possible to answer any question without considering the flip side of it? smile

    1. anjalichugh profile image73
      anjalichughposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you very much for rating my answer as the best one. This means a lot. Thanks again.

  4. Sarah Bolluyt profile image57
    Sarah Bolluytposted 6 years ago

    Freud would say yes.  The Electra complex, I believe it's called.  (The analogous male experience is the Oedipus complex.)  A disturbing concept, no? 

    A recent cultural reference to this is in the Big Bang Theory.  Howard is engaged to Bernadette, who sounds creepily similar to his mother when she yells at him. 

    As much as it creeps me out, I think it is true, to a certain extent.

    1. Michaela Osiecki profile image77
      Michaela Osieckiposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Freud should not be considered a credible source in any psychological discussion.

  5. Ms.Wakeelah profile image66
    Ms.Wakeelahposted 6 years ago

    I think women do this on purpose or sometimes unconsciously. For me, my father is a very disfunctional and complicated man. I love my father and many things about him, but when I caught myself dealing with a man who reminded me of my father in a negative way, I let things run their course and got rid of him!!! I went through a lot and still go through a lot with my father and  I refuse to go through with it with another man. I look at what my mother went through and everything she sacrificed for me and my siblings and I have to break the cycle.

  6. thepathtohealthy profile image59
    thepathtohealthyposted 6 years ago

    I think it depends on the relationship you have with your father. If he is someone you look up too or have a decent relationship with then yes I think so. For me there are some qualities I want in a man that are like my fathers, but I wouldn't want someone just like him. My dad and I are hard headed, I don't need someone hard headed it wouldn't work.

  7. reikieffect profile image60
    reikieffectposted 6 years ago

    I never believed so, but then I realized that my ex partners had similar traits to my father. I have seen this pattern with some of my friends as well.

  8. joanake profile image61
    joanakeposted 6 years ago

    This is probably subjective as much as people tend to agree. If a woman's father was largely absent in her life, there is not much comparison for her to make of a potential mate to size up against her own father. The natural instinct for procreation and survival leads to people trying to pick the strongest out of the pack in the game of survival of the fittest.

    For women who were lucky enough to have good dads, they are likely to look for a mate that models after their dads because that is their idea of a good man and that good man is likely to rise their young, nurture and protect them the same way she was raised as a child.

    However, for women who had abusive fathers, fathers who shirk responsibilities, or women who grew up in single families may not be as likely to pick a mate that mirrors their fathers either because they know that those men are detrimental to future family life or simply because they didn't have a father to model after.

  9. mackyi profile image69
    mackyiposted 6 years ago

    This is not true in all cases. For example,if a girl had to experience her dad abusing her mother, why do you think she would consider a man with similar traits to be her mate. On the contrary, if her dad was a loving, nurturing and kind to her and her mother, he would certainly be looked upon as an example of the kind of man she would like to meet.

  10. xethonxq profile image64
    xethonxqposted 6 years ago

    That might be true for heterosexual women...but not for the rest of us...certainly not me. And no, I also didn't choose someone like my

  11. LauraGSpeaks profile image95
    LauraGSpeaksposted 6 years ago

    This is a good question, making me ponder many different relationships.  It is also a hard question to answer because I have many examples of women who did not marry men with similar traits of their father.  I also have just as many examples of women who married men just like thier Dads.  I think generally, yes, women do, consciously or not, look for men who are similar to their fathers.   Maybe its just one big cycle continually repeating itself.  If women end up turning into their mothers, doesn't it make sense that their mates would have similar traits of their fathers? 

    My husband takes my daughter to the Daddy-Daughter Dance once a year.  They dress up and go out to dinner.  It is a very important date in our house!  It is important to me for my daughter to grow up expecting not to be treated as a princess, but to desire her dates to treat her with respect and good manners.   Her Dad is modeling that behavior for her.   She is only 9 now, so we'll see what who is coming to our door when she is 16!

  12. Michaela Osiecki profile image77
    Michaela Osieckiposted 2 years ago

    If that was the case, I'd be dating a psychotic drug user and alcoholic. Which I'm not. I think I have enough sense to stay FAR AWAY from men like my father.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)