How do you and your spouse/partner handle arguing in front of the children?
We haven't had a true argument yet (2 years). My ex and I argued all the time, he didn't have the self restraint to keep it away from little ears. I think arguments should never happen in front of children. When you fight in front of your children, it changes who they are. Adults understand what's happening and may forget the entire argument as soon as its over, kids will carry it with them and worry about what it means, how it will affect them, if its because they are bad etc etc.... little ones don't think and reason the way we do.
We rarely argue, but if we do we tend to move it behind closed doors. It really depends on the topic of discussion though. If it's about our child we definitely don't have the argument in front of her. I think it also depends on how entrenched we are in our argument position. If it's not something that can be resolved rather quickly we will usually agree to table it until we can have privacy.
My parents were married for 22 years, had 6 children together of which I am the oldest. Not I or my siblings can remember a single argument that my parents had throughout our whole childhood. They took everything behind closed doors and kept every word hushed so that we would not hear them. I had my first child last year and now have another one on the way and I sometimes find it hard to not get angry the moment an argument gets started. I believe that this is the key to how my parents managed to keep it from our ears. Emotions can fly high and off the handle at anytime for any reason, yet keeping those emotions in check for the sake of our children is so important. Remembering that a little one is within earshot or in sight can easily diffuse those high emotions and ultimately cause an argument over a subject not be so heated by waiting for the appropriate time to discuss the matter. By then emotions have simmered down some and the adults can communicate their feelings much easier to each other. In matters where its something that must be discussed immediately, parents need to keep in mind what the goal of a parent is. To raise and teach our children how to handle situations so that they may too one day become adults with good values and morals and be decent human beings all together who will then take what we have taught them and pass it on to their children.
For arguments sake (no pun intended) what if 1 spouse/partner is not adhering to arguing behind closed doors? How do you respond when your child asks why you are "fighting"?
Well, Dana, I'll be honest with you. My ex-wife and I fought like rabbid dogs. Now, I did not want to engage in front of our children, but she didn't care. And, all it takes for sparks to fly is one person who has lost their self-control and has allowed fire to rush to their head.
So, I think it all comes down to love and conscientiousness. Out of love for one's child, one should want to spare their feelings. A person should also ask themself if their love for their child is more powerful than their immediate desire to maliciously confront their opponent within ear-shot.
by Sp Greaney3 years ago
If someone argues with you, but apologises the next day, should you forgive them?Something was misunderstood & this caused irritation, which then led to argument.
by Gloria Cowdery8 years ago
How would you handle a conflict with your spouse?Would you try to stop the argument before it peaked? Or would you try to calm yourself down regardless of how your spouse was behaving during the argument? What is your...
by Thatmidwestfeelin3 months ago
Is it appropriate for a spouse to remove their wedding ring during a long, drawn-out argument?
by OutsideTheLines6 years ago
What is the most effective way you have found to end an argument with your significant other?Aftermthose long tedious disagreement how have you ended the argument? What is the best way you've found to end a disagreement...
by ptosis7 years ago
How come after an argument your boyfriend insists on having sex to 'seal the deal'?
by Melanie Palen6 years ago
I took a test in a class and missed one question. When I took the test, I could see the answer going either way and I knew I could present a good argument for or against my answer. It was multiple choice, so I selected...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.