How do you and your spouse/partner handle arguing in front of the children?

1. 61

   danajconnellyposted 13 years ago

   How do you and your spouse/partner handle arguing in front of the children?

   replyreport
2. 83

   cheatlierepeatposted 13 years ago

   We haven't had a true argument yet (2 years). My ex and I argued all the time, he didn't have the self restraint to keep it away from little ears. I think arguments should never happen in front of children. When you fight in front of your children, it changes who they are. Adults understand what's happening and may forget the entire argument as soon as its over, kids will carry it with them and worry about what it means, how it will affect them, if its because they are bad etc etc.... little ones don't think and reason the way we do.

   replyreport
3. 69

   xethonxqposted 13 years ago

   We rarely argue, but if we do we tend to move it behind closed doors. It really depends on the topic of discussion though. If it's about our child we definitely don't have the argument in front of her. I think it also depends on how entrenched we are in our argument position. If it's not something that can be resolved rather quickly we will usually agree to table it until we can have privacy.

   replyreport
4. 61

   cmillsjrposted 13 years ago

   My parents were married for 22 years, had 6 children together of which I am the oldest. Not I or my siblings can remember a single argument that my parents had throughout our whole childhood. They took everything behind closed doors and kept every word hushed so that we would not hear them. I had my first child last year and now have another one on the way and I sometimes find it hard to not get angry the moment an argument gets started. I believe that this is the key to how my parents managed to keep it from our ears. Emotions can fly high and off the handle at anytime for any reason, yet keeping those emotions in check for the sake of our children is so important. Remembering that a little one is within earshot or in sight can easily diffuse those high emotions and ultimately cause an argument over a subject not be so heated by waiting for the appropriate time to discuss the matter. By then emotions have simmered down some and the adults can communicate their feelings much easier to each other. In matters where its something that must be discussed immediately, parents need to keep in mind what the goal of a parent is. To raise and teach our children how to handle situations so that they may too one day become adults with good values and morals and be decent human beings all together who will then take what we have taught them and pass it on to their children.

   replyreport
5. 61

   danajconnellyposted 13 years ago

   For arguments sake (no pun intended) what if 1 spouse/partner is not adhering to arguing behind closed doors?  How do you respond when your child asks why you are "fighting"?

   replyreport
6. 0

   CJ Sledgehammerposted 13 years ago

   Well, Dana, I'll be honest with you. My ex-wife and I fought like rabbid dogs. Now, I did not want to engage in front of our children, but she didn't care. And, all it takes for sparks to fly is one person who has lost their self-control and has allowed fire to rush to their head.
   
   So, I think it all comes down to love and conscientiousness. Out of love for one's child, one should want to spare their feelings. A person should also ask themself if their love for their child is more powerful than their immediate desire to maliciously confront their opponent within ear-shot.

   replyreport