How do you get out of a relation that you realize is a burden on the other?
My friend's boyfriend has moved out of town for reasons of work. He has difficulties in work front, his family (parents and siblings) and financial issues too. Hence, it is difficult for him to be regular and sensitive about her problems or feelings. She realizes the difficulty he is having in giving her the space she needs, yet feels hurt at his lack of attention. So she now wants to let him go, without a formal breakup, because talking of a breakup may be hurting both.
My personal experiences and thoughts to the question on how to end a relationship without talking about it. I think the best way to "get out" of a relationship is to tell the other person you want out and to deal with the consequences of this statement. I did so myself a few times and I also was on the other side. read more
The following statement "So she now wants to let him go, without a formal breakup.." sounds very cowardly. If your friend wants out she should say so and move on. However if she lack the integrity to be up front there are a couple of very popular ways people use to dump others.
One is called "The trial separation". Basically it opens up the window of possibility that the relationship may not last in both people's mind. Some people sell it by calling it a "cooling off period" to "figure out" what they want...etc Essentially it's a "practice breakup". They may talk on the phone during this period (from time to time) but they don't see each other. The risk here is one person may want to get back together while the other finds someone new that WANTS them.http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/trialsparationsaretheytoorisky
The next one is called "The Fade-away breakup". Gradually one person stops calling the other or returning calls and stops replying to email and text messages. They become less and less available to spend time with. Until one day they just "fade away" by completely stop responding to the person. http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/ … in-General
The final strategy involves allowing yourself to be the "bad guy" so your mate will breakup with you! This may involve facets of the "fade away" or intentionally doing things that your mate considers to be "deal breakers".
However in my opinion if your friend cares anything about her soon to be ex she will just tell him she feels the relationship has run it's course.
Breakups are never easy especially when theres stronger feelings involved. No matter what way pain is inevitable. This doesn't mean though that it has to be a huge fight. Sometimes just admitting you need space and they need to respect that is a good way to break up. Who knows maybe someday it'll work out. If there is any question of break up then there is a reasion. The best thing to do is to try not to blame the other person but instead to leave on a good note. However if its an abusive relationship then there really isn't a way to leave on a good note. Most people I have seen who try to leave abusive relationships on a good note usually get sucked back in. The best way to leave that type of relationship is to just leave. No contact afterwards. Either way after a breakup your friend should really try to take time to self heal. Usually people who get into another relationship right afterwards end up getting hurt agian. She needs to give her heart a time to heal and be stronger before facing another relationahip.
Your friend must tell to him directly otherwise their relationship will be void and doubts will appear in the midst of them. Maybe time will come for the both of them to be together again.
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