jump to last post 1-4 of 4 discussions (4 posts)

Destructive Relationships - How to Know You Are in One and How to Know When to G

  1. Shil1978 profile image94
    Shil1978posted 6 years ago

    Destructive Relationships - How to Know You Are in One and How to Know When to Get Out?

  2. RighterOne profile image60
    RighterOneposted 6 years ago

    Pretty simple, actually... As always, start by defining the relevant terms.

    'Destructive' relationship = one that causes measurable distress, discomfort, and/or emotional, spiritual, financial, or physical damage to one or more of the persons involved.

    You can compare the situation you're in against a hypothetical 'base-line' of not being in any relationship at all.

    If you are in a 'Destructive Relationship', then you should get out ASAP. Most people tend to stick to their usual behavioral patterns rather than change their approach, in case the other person is not responding. If you have an abusive spouse, who likes to demean or physically abuse you when you disagree, then every time you disagree, the behavioral pattern will simply reinforce itself, becoming more and more prominent and intense.

    Whatever kind of abuse you may be experiencing, chances are that the abuser will only get more aggressive over time - until they hit 'rock bottom,' that is... In some cases, that rock-bottom could end up being a dead body, possibly yours...

    So getting out ASAP is a good and effective strategy, and the safest one. However, in some cases (for example, a long-term relationship, such as marriage, that is failing), some therapy or counseling may be a good recourse, before attempting to cut your losses.

    Overall, weighing the potential  benefit versus the potential harm of any given choice and basing your final decision on whichever is greater is always a good approach.

  3. msorensson profile image71
    msorenssonposted 6 years ago

    Whatever gives you pain, physical or emotional, you have to examine and reevaluate again and again.

    Sometimes, pain is necessary for our growth, but continuous pain is not good for anyone. Sadly, the only person you can change is yourself, so your question  really is "Do I want to stay in a relationship that causes me so much pain? Is there anything I can change within myself to relieve this pain?. If the answer is no, then you have be honest with yourself and leave. Perhaps the other person will be happier without you.

    Oh the reason I said that is because no one wants to hurt another ..One may think that they are doing it on purpose, and some might, but in general, only the people who are in pain themselves will hurt another...

    Of course, that is only my opinion...

  4. profile image0
    reeltaulkposted 6 years ago

    This is quite easy!  Anything destructive whether a intimate relationship or a platonic one is going to take you where you need go, or take you to a strange and distant place.  When something is good for you, chemically your body lets you know.  You will see a difference in your attitude, mood, patience.  Your approach to things will be different.  True success is prevalant......you will feel it in every aspect of your being and the being of the one in your life.  There is a harmony that takes place between the two individual that propel them forward.  There is a unseen movement in both of your honor that takes you various places (seen and unseen).  As for destructive relationships, come on....you can sense it!  You change in so many ways.  Visually you wont recognize yourself.  You will begin to have health issues (out of no where).  You will be confused, due to the individual making you that way.  There is no functional communication and lies will forever be present.  If you have never experience dysfunction, you have stepped on it's welcome mat.  Nothing makes sense, and neither is it planning to make sense any time soon!

    btw:  I dont agree that pain is necessary for growth.  No ONE should put themselves through anything just to know what pain taste like.  Everyone isn't built to experience or survive pain.  We all have brains that was meant to make us think.  Don't act like you don't have one use it!

    Oh I forgot.... as for getting out of it....react the same way you do when you get burned....Not only does the burn verbally make you react, but for the rest of your life fire and it's assets are kept at a distance!  Boom~