I do not believe that your spouse should be your best friend. Am I wrong in believing what I do?
My wife gets mad when I mention my theory on lovers and best friends, but I tell her that a best friend and a lover have two very different roles. My wife is my friend and much more than my best friend, but who do I talk too if my wife upsets me and she is my best friend? There are more contentions to my argument, but I want to hear what you have to say.
My husband is my best friend. If I am upset with him I still talk to him. That's what best friends do. If your wife upsets you she is the best person to go to. Let her know why you are upset with her. That's my humble opinion.
Katina
True, but sometimes you need to vent to someone else besides your partner, right?
True, but I rarely do that, unless the person I am venting to is a person with marriage experience or a counselor. I am not for telling everyone my information, even to vent. People can give you the wrong information.
My husband was my best friend and I think that is how it should be. Your best friend is the person that you can tell anything to and know it won't be repeated -- if you do not want to. He or she is also the person you turn to for comfort and the one who you want to spent most of your time with, also the person you feel the most comfortable around. That sounds like a spouse to me, or it should be. If you do not have that, well....that being said, there is nothing wrong, and a great deal that is healthy in spouses having very close friends and other interests apart from each other. What I think is unhealthy is when a spouse knows how the other one feels about something like being best friends and then seemingly goes out of their way to argue the situation and let them know that they are not best friends. It is hurtful, creates tension where none should exist and causes arguments. That makes you right, because best friends do not do that to each other.
I have never told my wife that she is not my best friend in a fight, but your point is valid one.I believe that your best freind and one's spouse play two different roles in one's life. You tell your husband everthing you would tell a best freind?
My opinion is that our wives should know everything about us with nothing held back. No matter what the topic is, they should know us deeply and intimately. If it helps us to have a friend we can use for venting I think that's great. But I think that's different from having someone else who is our "best friend" and keeping our wives at a distance. I think anything that creates that kind of distance in a marriage is a bad plan.
I do think it's great to have someone you can vent to who helps you blow off steam so you can talk about it with your wife rationally. This assumes that you do eventually discuss your frustration and irritation with your wife. Avoiding the topic, in my opinion, is also a bad plan. It will keep coming up until you deal with it together.
Your points are well made. What about maintaining balance in one’s life? Is there a risk that a couple might isolate themselves from the world? Is it feasible that your best friend can tell you truths a spouse could not (yep, your butt looks fat)?
Oh sure, I'm all for balance. Guys usually need guy time, Women usually need time out with other women, etc. I'm just a proponent of full and open communication within the marriage.
I agree with full and open communication, but would it surprise you that some Marriage Counselors say that there can be too much communication in a relationship?
by Rosie Rose 13 years ago
Do you think it is good to have your spouse/partner to be your best friend as well?My late husband was my best friend, and so when my husband died, I lost my best friend too.
by Johnathan David 3 years ago
What's the difference between a friend, a true friend and a best friend?I just want your viewpoints on the certain stages of friendship and what they mean to you..
by YvetteParker 12 years ago
How long have you been friends with your very best friend?What is it that makes this person and the friendship special to you?
by Krystal 12 years ago
Do you think it is possible to go from friends to lovers?
by thisiknow 8 years ago
What would you do if your friend flirted with your spouse?While on vacation with a few other couples, I watched in disbelief as one friend blatantly flirted with another friends husband. I could not understand why his wife said nothing. Being good friends with the wife I finally got up the nerve to...
by vanpelt 12 years ago
My(20yrs) wife's best friend is a man who is in-love with her. The man is married his wife emotionally not there.My wife I believe is trying to heal the wounds of a father who abandoned her as a little girl. My wife wants to continue the friendship with this man. She...
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |