Do men ever advise their buddies to date a woman simply because she's nice?

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (11 posts)
  1. Etherealenigma profile image74
    Etherealenigmaposted 6 years ago

    Do men ever advise their buddies to date a woman simply because she's nice?

    I had friends in my church group that kept pushing me towards a man that expressed interest in me, but that I was not interested in him. Their reasoning was that I should date him because he's sweet and nice. I should give him a chance, despite the fact that I kept saying that he was not my type. They thought the fact that he was in church and seem very nice and sweet with sufficient reason for me to give him a chance.  For some reason my stating that I was not attracted to him and that he was not my type made no difference whatsoever. Do you think that just being in church is enough?

  2. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 6 years ago

    Men generally don't get into each other's business when it comes to dating and relationships. We only offer advice if asked for it. Men usually will only ask a woman out if they find her attractive. After all from our point of view there is no reason to be spending your time and hard earned money on someone you have no interest in. We don't buy into the concept of "I can learn to love her." Men never feel as though time is running out for them to "find a wife". When one believes they have all the time in the world there is no sense of urgency to settle.
    Lori Gottlieb  wrote a book for women titled; "Settling for Mr. Good Enough" This was a very popular book. Can you imagine a book for men titled "Settling for Ms, Good Enough"? I doubt it would be on the best seller list! This is due in large part that women either naturally or eventually get to a point where they look at men for "practical benefits" (ie) Does he have a good job? Does he treat you well? Does he go to church? Is he financially secure? Does he want children?
    If the answer is "yes" then he's considered a (great catch)! Never mind about "looks" ,"chemistry", or "sexual compatibility". "Mr, Good Enough" is the guy who (on paper) looks like your "Mr. Right". Only you can determine if you could be happy in a stable marriage with someone you have no passionate desire for. Life sometimes is about trade-offs but the choice is yours and not your friends!.

    1. Etherealenigma profile image74
      Etherealenigmaposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      You are absolutely right! I always thought that my standards were too high, because I want the passionate desire along with the practical benefits. I want to come to the table with equal benefits to offer. Most women settle just to say, I have a man.

    2. dashingscorpio profile image88
      dashingscorpioposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Etherealenigma, "This above all: to thine own self be true" - Shakespeare :-)

    3. Etherealenigma profile image74
      Etherealenigmaposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I agree. I don't have a prob with being by myself at this point, because I don't see any1 that I am attracted to. I want the whole pkg, & sometimes I ? if that actually exists for me, but I'd rather be alone w/ God, than settle 4 some1 I don't li

  3. joy4856 profile image56
    joy4856posted 6 years ago

    guys usually are cool about these things, they usually dont insist their friend to date some, but they do make fun of each-other when they go to ask some one out and they blow it !! lol

    1. Etherealenigma profile image74
      Etherealenigmaposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, they like to prank each other and compete.

  4. profile image0
    CJ Sledgehammerposted 6 years ago

    First of all, your friends should already know that women love the bad boys, so they should get off your back about dating nice, respectable men. :0)

    So, do men ever counsel their buddies to date a woman because she is nice? Hmm. I will say this: When a guy is younger, he is generally looking for a girl that is easy on the eyes. As he ages, he tends to look for a woman who is more appealing to his spirit.

    I know when I was younger, like most men, I had to have someone that I thought rated very high on the physical attraction scale. As I have grown older and wiser, I have come to terms with the fact that beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. I have become far more aware of a woman's character and personality as time has gone by.

    I still would like someone that I find attractive, but my idea of attraction has less to do with looks and far more to do with virtue, personality, character, and overall demeanor. I hope this helps.

    1. Etherealenigma profile image74
      Etherealenigmaposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah...that's my exact sentiment. I know I probably won't get exactly what I'd prefer physically, and that's ok as long as the character and spiritual part is in place. Nevertheless, I'd still like to have SOME physical attraction to the person.

  5. darvinbunder profile image60
    darvinbunderposted 6 years ago

    Just be honest with your friends and the other person. Just don't say, "You're not my type so scram." You wanna be nice but not flirty nice. Be yourself and if the person still presses, be a little more upfront until they get it.
    It will probably be frustrating, but just breathe and be still knowing that the situation will pass.
    Explain to your friends to please not try and set you up with him (and don't gossip about it).

    I feel a person should date someone if both people can be themselves around each other, sharing everything, and hiding nothing. Both people must be confident with themselves to and do some serious soul searching.
    Hope I could help you,

    1. Etherealenigma profile image74
      Etherealenigmaposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you. I do appreciate the comment. I will try to put that advice to good use in the future.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)