Have you ever been in a relationship with anyone that you could describe as cold

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   mackyiposted 12 years ago

   Have you ever been in a relationship with anyone that you could describe as cold, evil or wicked?
   
   Many of us have been in at least one past relationship with a person who was selfish, evil, bitter, mean and so on. They only cared about themselves, always blaming you etc, which makes you constantly ask yourself how can anyone be like that?
   
   

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   TheRightWordposted 12 years ago

   I have. This person was cold to the bone one minute, warm the next. Repeatedly told me I was "irrational" and "over exaggerating". He cheated and lied, then expected me to believe that I was the crazy one. Seriously, he lied about little things that didn't even matter, just to lie. It took me too long get out because I was financially dependent. One day I decided my sanity wasn't worth the small level of security and I walked out, never looked back.
   
   I look at the situation as a HUGE learning experience. Even though I was sorely tempted on many occasions to lower my behavior and character to his level, I never did. I do not blame him for being who he is, but rather look at it as preparation for the wonderful man in my life now. I truly and finally learned to identify what I would and would not accept and that led me to understand what I want and need in a partner.
   
   The situation could have turned me bitter, but instead I allowed it to teach me to open up further than before and my relationships with everyone are better for it. I figured I had been hurt and lived to tell about it

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      mackyiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I believe you, these are people are out there. They have the personality what we call an "Anti-social personality". I feel your pain. Luckily you got out!

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      TheRightWordposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Some of them are really very good at pretending to be one way, then turning into "bad" on a dime. Not anti-social at all, just evil and really good at manipulation.

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   Express10posted 12 years ago

   I've never been in a relationship with anyone like that. I am an intuitive person and can most often see these types coming a mile away & can usually see that something is out of balance. If not through their actions, I make the effort to find out by more talking to them before even considering them as a prospect for my attention and affections.
   
   I know other women who have been this type or dated this type. Their relationships are stressful and tortured. While every relationship has ups and downs, this is not the norm. I guess these types have been mistreated, abused, or are simply angry with the world. Why they are this way I will never know.

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      mackyiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Lucky for you express!sometimes they are so cunning,crafty and pretentious,that it's often difficult for the average person to spot them from a distant. Definitely a personality issue!

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   Anjiliposted 12 years ago

   The words selfish, evil, bitter, mean etc describe the character so well that their intention would surely show before they made their first move towards me. Some can be spotted through speech. This sounds warning bells before we commit ourselves to such people. The opposite of these traits endear themselves to you hence get more suitors.

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      mackyiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      We are sometimes to be blamed for allowing ourselves to be victims. Good for you,at least you are one of the very vigilant one!

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   landscapeartistposted 12 years ago

   I went one step further.  I married such a man.  My first husband was cold cruel to the core.  He cheated on me constantly and smacked me around.  He never wanted to have children and whenever I got pregnant, he would beat me, throw me around until I lost the baby.  I couldn't handle Birth Control.  I was lucky with my daughter,  friends found out I was pregnant before he did and they threatened him into leaving me alone to have my baby. Then we separated.  Thank you God!

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      mackyiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry to hear this! I do believe everything you say, but such is the nature of some people, they are just outright cold,callous, and selfish. Thanks to goodness, you believed in God. What goes around will come around "Karma"!

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      landscapeartistposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Oh yeah! My daughter talks to her grandfather all the time.  He hasn't seen his son in years, and doesn't really care if he ever does.  Hopefully soon, he will meet his granddaughter in person.

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   CR Rookwoodposted 12 years ago

   No, I know that such people exist but by the time they are in that space they aren't really capable of 'relationships'. So I'd say no.
   
   I've been in some really unhealthy relationships, sure, but I always learned something from them, and eventually was able to look back and see how I contributed to the dysfunction. I honestly can look back at the people I had such a hard time getting along with and fee sad for them and for myself, and then wish us all well.
   
   I do that every night. I pray for people who have hurt me and vice versa.
   
   I do it for me. It works. You can care for someone and not be able to hang out with that person. That happens all the time. It can even be a family member. This is a good thing to know, even if it has to be learned the hard way.

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      mackyiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Some people have shared some rather disturbing stories. However, the good thing,they managed to break loose.You said something rather interesting"I pray for people who hurt me..."We should all follow your footsteps!I'm yet to hear a man's response!

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   CJ Sledgehammerposted 12 years ago

   Yes. I married such a woman.
   
   Typically this kind of individual would never have made it through my personalized security filters, but she had some help from the inside.
   
   Turns out she was pumping a close relative of mine for information about me so she could stay one step ahead of me and knew what to say beforehand. This relative told her where I was going to be and told her what to say and what not to say. I was set up from the very beginning.
   
   As soon as I married little miss "dream girl" - she let her hair down and it went all to hell.
   
   I was the quintessential "starter husband".

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      mackyiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Since I was hearing from just the ladies, I thought for a second that only men were the cruel, or evil ones. Thanks for sharing, I hope things are working out much better for you now. This confirms that both genders can be equally evil!

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   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   Not for long! If I'm not happy with (my choice) in a mate then I will make a change. Life is too short to be spending time with someone who is evil, wicked, and selfish towards you. Remember each of us gets to choose our own friends, lovers, and spouse. If you go to the store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead....Whose fault is that? Staying with someone who makes you unhappy is YOUR choice when it's all said and done. No one is "stuck" with anyone. All relationships are "at will".

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   Globetrekkermelposted 12 years ago

   Never. I guess I call myself lucky . The few that i dated,had been pretty decent and my husband is the most thoughtful man of all the men i dated. That sounds like dreamboat and unrealistic but it is true.He is not the handyman in the house that I wish him to be but I think I am too picky,Lol.The others were good too.Just different personalities but over all , all of them were very decent and I still have a soft spot for all of them in my heart.

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