Have you ever been in an abusive relationship, (emotional or physical) got counseling and it worked?
Do you have a friend that has gone through counseling and it saved their relationship?
I was in an abusive marriage years ago, and we spent 2 1/2 years in counseling. It did not help, if anything, it made the fighting worse. An abusive person will not generally come out and admit they are abusive. Instead, they make excuses for their actions and find a way to blame their spouse for it, to justify their actions. Certain things were "taboo" subjects and would set my husband off in a rage if I talked about them. He felt certain things should be kept private. What's the point of going to counseling if you can't talk about everything that needs to be talked about?
If you're in an abusive relationship, the best thing to do is just get out. Don't be like my former neighbor, who finally shot his wife and killed her, as their 8-year old son jumped in the way to try and safe her life, causing the bullet to go through him into his mother and killing them both. Why take a chance that things could end up that way?
I have never been in an abusive relationship myself. If I had, it would have been for no more than 3 minutes. However I have crossed path with people who have been in an abusive relationship. There is no justification whatsoever for being abusive, and I haven't heard myself of any case where counseling was of significant help. To anybody in any level of abusive relationship, my advice would be : make plans to leave as soon as possible because things are very unlikely to get better over time. This may not be right on topic, but as a man, it is very difficult to understand why so many women will stay in an abusive relationship. I understand the economic justification, as well as the well being of children, but in the end, can it be worth the risk ? I think not as there are too many examples of such abusive relationships gone terribly wrong
While I write about it quite a bit in my poetry, I have never been in an abusive relationship. I did witness my parents verbally abuse each other and alcohol and realize how hopeless it must feel to people in those kinds of relationships.
i think too often the primary abuser does not see what they do as abuse and so counseling may not help.
Living your life for few days with an abusive person whether physically or emotionally turns to be the worst experience of life as it not only disturbs you mentally but bounds you to think about your life in a weird manner.Thus it is always better to get rid of these kind of relationship asap because the more you stay with them the more you deteriorate in behavior and character as they attack your mental stability along with disturbing the peace of your life .if you want to read more about these kind of stained relations one of my article based on the same topic may help you to some extent..
I was in an emotionally & verbally abusive relationship for 8 years. He refused to see a therapist with me. He refused to try to work on it or improve it in any way.
In his mind everything was fine & I was the problem.
Needless to say, it did not work out. I ended the relationship.
I have known a couple of others who have been through the same or similar type of thing & with or without therapy, each relationship ended because the abuser refused to change his ways and the woman found enough strength for herself (and her children) to get out while she still could.
Abusive in a relationship can often result from lack of. Lack of reason. Lack of understanding. Lack of listening to your partner's wants, needs, etc. In the case of physical and emotional abuse? I experienced as well as watched several relationships where the abusive partner is reacting out of frustration, self loathing, or past events in that persons life. Can counseling help ? Yes. but more often than not, couples seeking council end in divorce or seperation. Anger management can and does help many, but true change, and self realization come from within. Breaking the pattern that leads to abuse is often up to the partner that is being abused. Best of luck! Move on, Quickly...
Well I went to my christian counselor and he helped me to see that it was ok to divorce my husband as he had already left me, in his heart, because he abused me and choose other women and drugs. I was still trying to stay married (BAD). I did finally divorce him after 3 years. I am now a happy woman and I remarried after 5 years of being single to a great guy for over 15 years.
I am lucky for I have never been abused in any way however those who have are very unfortunate and I feel they should not stay and allow the abuse to worsen
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