Did you wait till you found your best 'match' in a relationship or settled for

Jump to Last Post 1-7 of 7 discussions (15 posts)
  1. Docmo profile image90
    Docmoposted 6 years ago

    Did you wait till you found your best 'match'  in a relationship or settled for what you can get?

    I know this is a sensitive question, but I am curious if (as I meet many who settled for what they can get and then complain about it) rather than take some time to find our best match. Does fear of rejection, loneliness and losing out affect the speed with which we find our partner?


  2. realtalk247 profile image71
    realtalk247posted 6 years ago

    Waiting for my match. When you settle for less you get less than what you settled for.  I think those of us who want a quality love-life and relationship aren't taking anyone but waiting for great matches.  You can't be lonely if you have family or friends, you can only become lonely when you focus on what you don't have instead of celebrating the people you do have.  Rejection can only bother you if you are giving someone else the permission to hurt your self-image and feelings that you have for yourself.  No one has the power to do that unless you give them the power or you don't feel great about yourself to begin with.

    1. Docmo profile image90
      Docmoposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      All the very best in your search!

  3. shampa sadhya profile image74
    shampa sadhyaposted 6 years ago

    Mine was an arranged marriage so there was no such scope to find out about our compatibility. Now, after spending 15 years with him I feel that it was a right decision that I accepted the words of my parents and all the guardians. I had a few conditions which matched while this proposal was under consideration. That was it but after marriage we found that we were poles apart. Here, our respect for marriage worked. Still, we are very different and we hardly accept each other's viewpoint but still we have found a mid way not a compromising route but a healthy approach of acceptance with love. Thus, everything goes fine. I am dead sure if I had waited to select someone by matching step by step then I don't think God would have blessed me with such a nice man who is loving, caring and understanding.

    I was not interested in marriage so there was no urge within me to search for a partner rather I was extremely happy with my biological family. They only, convinced me to get married and I who never thought about marriage earlier was in deep soup. I must say that sometimes taking life casually gets paid very richly. No regrets at all.

    1. Docmo profile image90
      Docmoposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      wonderful- I also wonder how much of it is the way we are brought up and conditioned- if we are compromising, easy going, willing to encourage good and forgive the less than good, perhaps it is a great match of halves.

    2. shampa sadhya profile image74
      shampa sadhyaposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hello Docmo,

      I would like to mention, We never compromise. Compromise gives a little dissatisfaction at the end. We differ but we accept one another's opinion willingly so we enjoy a healthy and contented relationship with full of self respect.

    3. Docmo profile image90
      Docmoposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      A 'positive compromise' is as you say rightly, the willingness to accept each other's opinions.  I didn't mean it in a negative sense where we 'put up' with dissatisfaction :-)

  4. MartieCoetser profile image86
    MartieCoetserposted 6 years ago

    I would say (short and sweet) that this depends on age or rather emotional maturity. When a person has not yet reached emotional independence, settling with the first physical attraction is a common tendency. Emotional independent people will wait until they find the best match. Financial dependency may also urged a person to settle with whatever they get.

    1. Docmo profile image90
      Docmoposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      very true, Martie. Very True. Wise AND gorgeous.

  5. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 6 years ago

    I believe the vast majority of people who get married do so thinking they have met "the one" or at the very least believe with a few "tweaks" they will have a great life. Of course I'm speaking as a guy. Men and women tend to have different priorities or reasons for deciding who is "marriage material" and who is not. Awhile back there was book written for women titled: Marry Him! The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough" Can you imagine a book like that for men?
    Since the majority of men aren't in a hurry to get married nor do they have "biological clocks" nor have they been dreaming of their wedding day since they were little boys....etc It's less likely men are going to marry someone they aren't in love with. You don't see many books written for men advising them on how to get their girlfriend to commit or offering advice on how to cook the "engagement chicken dinner" and so forth.
    I can't imagine knowingly marrying someone I was not "in love" with.
    One man's opinion! :-)

    1. Docmo profile image90
      Docmoposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      yes- there may be gender differences and how and why we seek our partners.

  6. MickeySr profile image82
    MickeySrposted 6 years ago


    I found far more than a 'best match', I was given a soul-mate, a life partner, the better part of me - but, I didn't have to wait . . . I met her when she was 14 and I was 15, and we've been together for nearly 45 years.

    1. shampa sadhya profile image74
      shampa sadhyaposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Great going, Sir. True relationships are meant to be like this.

    2. Docmo profile image90
      Docmoposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      aww. so good to hear that. outstanding partnership!

  7. krisingreen profile image60
    krisingreenposted 24 months ago

    I waited for my best friend. We're not very compatible, we actually have a lot of differences but as time goes by, we realized we actually love being together, talking to each other, exchanging ideas and doing what each of us love (individually).

    I guess I'm also lucky to not feel bad not having a boyfriend or lover for a long time. It gets lonely, but I always keep in mind that I'd rather be alone than be with someone who I can't connect with.

    It was worth it.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)