The hidden truth

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   IntimatEvolutionposted 15 years ago

   Whether it is a secret fantasy, personal need and desire or even something you've done and have never shared- what's the one secret that you've kept hidden all this time.
   
   Mine, I wish my husband was better at foreplay.  It's not the best I've had.

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      Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      have you told him this?

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         IntimatEvolutionposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         No, it's my secret.  Something is better than nothing.

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            tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            You should tell him. Something better is much  better than just something

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               wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               I agree. You don't need to be blunt, but bring it up.
               Make it into something fun.
               
               My hidden truth? I say that I'm not happy and that I want more, but secretly I'm very happy with my non-dating, no pressure, no commitment, have-some-fun-when-you-want-to boyfriend. It's the opposite of what I usually want in a relationship, but... I'm loving it

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                  tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  I'm sure you do !
                  I don't like commitments. nor pressures

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               IntimatEvolutionposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               I know, but this isn't about whether I should or not.  Realistically, it is perfectly fine.  I have a naughtier nature than he does.  So it is more like a fantasy. 
               
               There, now can we start unloading and sharing? I don't want to make this about me.  I write sex theme articles.  I would never use anything that was said in here, but I'm curious to see what kind of stuff we all like to keep hidden.  Thanks.

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                  tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  Ok. A secret fantasy.
                  having sex with 2 guys at the same time, this guys being best friends.
                  tried to convince some friends a couple of times, but they wouldn't do it !

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                     Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     I tried once with two girls it was not what I expected or as fun as I thought. Won't be doing that again.

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                        tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                        Maybe they didn't qualify

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                           Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                           Well one loved me and the other was crushing both had problems with me being with another woman, and were hurt the next day. fantasy meets reality, lesson learned.

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                              tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                              OK so they didn't qualify.
                              nobody  has to have a crush, in that kind of relationship

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                                 Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                 I didn't know the one had a crush, my girlfriend set it up after overhearing me and some friends talking about it this was about 10 years ago I think. we were all really young like 19 or so.

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                                    tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                    You should try it again now. Now that you're single !

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                                       Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                       easier said then done, and honestly I'm not really interested anymore. I did ALOT of crazy stuff over the last 10 years now I just want one girl that is mine. We can be wild together, but the chasing and the game just isn't appealing anymore.

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                                          tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                          OK but as you're single, you should have fun now.
                                          girls are trouble one way or the other. Relax and have fun before the next one comes in your life

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                                             Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                             I know I've beat this dead horse before but right now where I live, there isn't a whole lot of time for fun. Everyday is literally becoming a struggle to find money for food and gas. I literally have not had cash in my wallet in 8 weeks now, or moved my car in a month. Were it not for family I wouldn't be eating literally. My tax return this January will all go into savings for gas to get to and from college until hopefully sometime in the spring a job will open up somewhere within 20 miles.I know what you mean though and i would love nothing more then to just be able to talk to a girl face to face but dating and fun is something I honestly can not afford that's what's so frustrating. i never thought I'd be a situation like this where things were so hard and i was so lonely. But the facts are around here if you don't have any money then you aren't going to be talking to females either.

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                                                tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                Well females must be very silly  around there !
                                                what does your money has to do with your charms ?
                                                I'm sorry then
                                                There's virtual sex... just in case  you think it's fun.

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                                                   Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                   You have to have the money to drive to where the females are in order to charm them, or take them out, or pay for online dating sites. In reality it's all about the money, guys know this women here deny it while encouraging it. Funny system we have in the US.

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                                                wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                It's not a dead horse you are beating.
                                                
                                                I was going to say something supportive because I understand where you are at.
                                                But when I typed the word "beating" my mind went in a totally different direction.
                                                
                                                Back to supportive: don't worry about no money. My guy raises chickens in a hidden part of his back-yard so he can have eggs. No money to speak of. He rides a motorcycle 12 months a year because gas is too expensive. No cable, no internet... he had it all shut off.
                                                I don't hold it against him, I admire him for how he survives.

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                                                   Denno66posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                   And he'll always have coffee.

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                                                   Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                   Then your guy is lucky and with a great person. It's not so much that the women around here are so superficial (They are) but the issue is I can't get out to meet any of them. I live 20 miles from town. I know this will change in a month or so when i start classes, but I still can't help whining now, it's been a long and lonely year.

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                                                      wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                      Oh, I hear ya there.
                                                      I've been REAL upset about the idea that I may have to move back home - and it sounds like you are in the very situation I'm trying so hard to avoid.
                                                      Ten mile drive, just to get to the part of the road that has pavement...
                                                      I'm fighting to the death to stay here
                                                      I need to be around lots of people.

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                                                         Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                         It's definitely an adjustment. I've lived on my own since High School, and like having my place the way I want it, CLEAN and doing my little routine, now I have a very small space and have to accommodate everyone else's routine, while remembering I am a guest. My father, and step-brother are slobs and very lazy, My step mother does everything for them while working twelve hours a day. I spend most of the day going behind them cleaning, just because I refuse to live in filth.It's an exercise in patience and humility.

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                                                            philip carey 61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                            Putting the topic of this forum aside for the moment, this guy Scott (I assume that's  your name) is feeling some serious economic pain. It could happen to anyone in this economy. I guess I just want to say that I'm pulling for you. As a friend told me, "They can kill you, but they can't eat  you." Hang in there.
                                                            
                                                            Apologies to the rest for going off on a tangent, but this story kind of hit me.
                                                            
                                                            

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                                                               Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                               As far as the economy goes, i am starting to understand for the first time just how much of our lives can be effected by what goes on in banks and wall street. Like someone once told me this is a huge crap sandwich and we all have to take a bite.

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                                                                  philip carey 61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                                  I work for a large financial services firm. They got TARP money, and now we hear rumors that they're going to sell the subsidiary company for whom I work for the purpose of raising money to pay back the TARP loans. Usually when a large company buys another, they start by having a wave of layoffs in the purchased company to improve the balance sheet. I'll likely get my bite of the sandwich before Christmas. (THAT'S something I haven't told my family yet.)
                                                                  
                                                                  
                                                                  

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                                                                     wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                                     yeah, with the holidays coming up... wow
                                                                     all you can do at this point is hope for the best. good luck.
                                                                     
                                                                     how are things otherwise in PA? I've been considering a move to Pittsburgh but I don't have a real good feel for how things are going over there.
                                                                     
                                                                     sorry this got off topic again

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                                                                        philip carey 61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                                        I live in the Philadelphia area, so I can't really say about Pittsburgh. General economic information is widely available on the net for each major metro area, however. The chief economist where I work says we're looking at a U-shaped recovery, with jobs being added starting sometime in Q2 of '10. The main think endangering the recovery now is commercial real estate. Many banks have large exposure to this sector, and there's a layer of commercial-mortgage-backed securities that is worrisome. Banks will again tighten lending if they start seeing significantly eroded earnings from their commercial real estate holdings.
                                                                        
                                                                        Keep persevering.
                                                                        
                                                                        
                                                                        
                                                                        
                                                                        

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                                                            wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                            Scott, I don't know many of the details about what has got you to this point in life. I'm not pretending like I have a magic answer for you either. But I can give you the reality:
                                                            
                                                            In these times, the smallest mistake is just amplified like crazy. In times past, the things we have done would maybe have caused trouble for us, but not sunk us like a leaky boat. There is zero margin for error in this economy. Being single just makes it worse.
                                                            
                                                            Those who are going by the book perfectly are getting sunk too. My point is, the mistakes you have made, the mistakes I have made, were not big enough to put us in the spot we're in, if times were normal.
                                                            
                                                            There's more going on that has caused this, so try not to beat yourself up.
                                                            From my shrink's lips to your ears

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                                                               Leta Sposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                               Hey, Scott...
                                                               
                                                               I just want to say that this is true.  And you'll probably look back in a few years and be able to see it.  For right now, I know...it is just hard to take.
                                                               
                                                               Take it from someone who is just fine now, but who lost her job in New York right after 9/11. OF course, as they often make it out for you to believe, you blame yourself.  You have to step back from it for a few years to see what actually was going on.
                                                               
                                                               This affected everything in my life like a domino effect--I lost my relationship, too.  I'm not sorry, however, as if that was all it took, I'm much better off, frankly, without that person...  And now I'm on the other side, for the most part happy, and with a guy I've been with for 5 years, looking back on all of it for what it was.
                                                               
                                                               Your attitude, hard work and holding yourself up decently against all this is what makes you any kind of success.  I wouldn't worry...seems to me you understand all this already.

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                        IntimatEvolutionposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                        What happen?  The girls fight or something?

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                           Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                           No, they just didn't like seeing the guy they like having sex with another girl, it's a trust thing I guess.

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                              IntimatEvolutionposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                              There is no room for sexual insecurity.  That's too bad.  I love threesomes.

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                     wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     hmmmm...
                     best friends would be much better than strangers...
                     They would be letting you in on their own little secrets

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                        IntimatEvolutionposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                        Oh yum! 
                        Another secret of mine-
                        I really enjoy watching real life sexual intercourse between people.  I've always thought I'd be perfect for an orgy.  And yes, my hubby knows this.  I've watched him with one of my friends before, it was crazy exciting for me.  Sexual intercourse is such a wonderful adventure.

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                           Cagsilposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                           Voyeurism. Hmmm....

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            Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            I think if you told him in the right way and took the time to work with him in finding what you like and what feels good you might be surprised. MOST men are pride driven and the ability to completely satisfy their woman or spouse will motivate them to new things.

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               wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               This is true.
               I wish I had known this when I was younger and more "polite".

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                  Denno66posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  You're still young. Chalk it off to a learning curve.

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                     wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     I'm a lot less polite, that's for damn sure

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                        Denno66posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                        Sigh. I will refrain from saying what came to my mind.

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                           wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                           
                           The subject of my fan count did come up today...
                           I mean, the number of fans I have, not the..
                           oh hell, never mind.

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                              Denno66posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                              Nice. I just saw that. (Duh, Sheepie)

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                                 wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                 I've been waiting for somebody to join me or quit me...

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                                    Denno66posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                    Nah, much more fun this way.....

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                  Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  I dated older women for about eight years then turned what I learned loose on younger women. Knowing you satisfy your girlfriend like no man before is the ultimate ego boost, at least for me anyway. I like the way they look at you afterwards wondering how I did that. I hate being single now.

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                     wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     See, what you just said there, Scott...
                     This is why I secretly like not-dating the guy I'm with.
                     I'm supposed to want a family, before it really is too late to try again. And in many ways I do.
                     But apart from the subject we're discussing here, I do like being single. I would not imagine this could be true, I was in a panic when I got divorced.
                     But here I am.
                     
                     You need to find a friend with best benefits.

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                     IntimatEvolutionposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     Live in MO?  Just kidding.  I know what you're talking about though.  Fun isn't it?

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                        Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                        Well yeah its fun and i'm going through withdrawal. This started out as a temporary thing to clear my head after a bad breakup, then turned into a two year sabbatical when the economy tanked. Girls like a guy who can pay for things, I'm struggling to pay for gas with this economy. I'm glad I'm starting college in January just so i can actually talk to some females again.

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                     Deborah-Lynnposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     Sometimes when you do things differently it inspires your partner to try different things, before becoming intimate, change up your other routines, like what you do each night before bed....
                     
                     Mr. Scott...I am so sad that you are now single, what will you be doing about this?

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                        Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                        Well i started with pouting, then aggravation, and then onto desperation now I've arrived at I just don't care and have other things to focus on like getting a new house car and career. i am sure i will meet someone at school, but as far as a relationship goes, don't know about that this time, going to try things differently. was a serial monogamist but that didn't work out.

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            Cagsilposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            And here all this time I thought relationships were not suppose to have secrets? Hmmm......I always thought a relationship between two people who love each other thoroughly, keep no secrets, because they value the relationship.
            
            This makes your secret seem like a dirty and direct insult to your relationship and your partner's love for you.
            
            Hmm...I'll think I leave it there.
            
            As for me, I have no secrets, the government, has made that apparent, since privacy is a thing of the past.

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            sneakorocksolidposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Have you tried Little Bopeep and the policeman?

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               Denno66posted 15 years agoin reply to this

               Ack!

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      Neil Sperlingposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      My one secrets is "I've never told anyone where I keep my secrets."

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      sandra rinckposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, that sucks!  I mean, wow...that really blows... I mean you better let him know lickidy-split... I mean... darn these puns, I can't seem to get my head around what I am really getting after...

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         wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         

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   tantrumposted 15 years ago

   I'd rather keep my hidden secrets, hidden.
   that's why they are called secrets.
   
   About secret fantasies, I would be banned

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      IntimatEvolutionposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Surely you have an innocent one to share.  Have you ever read any on Nancy Friday's books.

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         tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         What's that ? I'm not american .

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   Denno66posted 15 years ago

   Well, I'd go for telling him about it. If it were me, and I was not paying attention enough to notice, then I would hope you'd smack me upside the head for not doing so.

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   Scott.Lifeposted 15 years ago

   You know the best thing about HP is all the women I meet on here are married, engaged, crazy, or on the other-side of the country, or one of many disqualifying things that prevent me from being more then frustrated.

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      tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      .lol: Well I suppose I'm one of the crazy type ! Sorry to add to your frustration !

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         Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Not too mention far far away.

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            tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            distances don't exist.I'm just around the corner ,as a lot of other hubbers as well.
            you're welcome to my facebooks

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               Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               It's a good sentiment but I need flesh and blood here and now, the internet is a poor substitute for that warm body moving with you, breathing heavy and enjoying the moment. There's only one cure for my disease I'm afraid, and its still going to be awhile until I get it. Sucks to be a single unemployed man in America.

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                  tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  OK. More than offering you my internet friendship , I can't do.
                  As it's not enough for you,the only thing I can say is : I'm sorry .

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                     Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     I know,  you're still a sweet person anyway. i know I'm on my own in this, and to be fair I did it to myself. i had someone really great and screwed that up six kinds of bad. Now I know when to hold on next time and what matters.

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   Scott.Lifeposted 15 years ago

   I guess that's my hidden truth in that I hate myself for putting my life where it is. Even though you do your best to move on and fix things you still think back to what was and wince.

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      wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      oh. I'm not gonna be a cheerleader and say, "but it will be ok!" (head bouncing, waving pom poms)
      
      but I have a hard time thinking that you hate anybody, yourself included. Anger, regret maybe, but not hate.
      
      

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   Scott.Lifeposted 15 years ago

   You know there are few moments in Hubpages when my faith in humanity is redeemed. On occasion I get to talk to some really great people that I would gladly help out and defend. Looking back over many of my posts this past week though I have noticed a trend towards anger and hostility, and it seems to be getting worse. Writing on hubpages has brought a lot of positive things out of me but taken as a whole this site has become a poison in my life, and alot of that is directly related to the forums. Before I get off of here and take my mandatory two day break from the warzone, I mean forums, I thought I'd express some hidden truths about it.
   
   First I have noticed that people have issues with the truth, not in a religious or scientific way but on a personal level.The people who will berate you for being abusive, judgmental, name calling or hypocritical are the same ones being banned for attacking anyone and everyone that crosses their path. They just do not want to hear the simple fact of the issue; that they are asses and hateful, disgusting people. Similarly its strange to me that to state that which is plainly visible to all behavior wise is considered a personal attack. While telling another they are bound to hell and lost is not?
   
   Second- apparently being on this site longer then a year no matter how abysmal your writing is, gives you license to attack and belittle anyone expressing a different opinion, and at such time you may resort to any manner of curse words, personal attacks, and behavior without fear of reprisals from moderators.
   
   Third- most posters seem actively interested in arguing anything but hesitate to discuss something helpful or practical. Those who do promote tolerance and understanding will be quickly labeled a liberal, Marxist or any number of convenient names, to belittle their much needed message. I guess in America today being kind, helpful, and productive towards making things better just isn't in vogue.
   
   Finally- In the name of good hubbership, all the above are just my opinion and do not represent any particular individuals or generalizations. God forbid we speak the truth about anything on here or even mention God, Darwin, Health care, Afghanistan, or Life, as these topics will instantly ignite a fire storm of stupid. I have appreciated all those who have conversed with me tonight and hope you have a great weekend. Given the review of my last week's posts I have concluded one of three things. 1. I am on the verge of a stress induced psychotic break, which while unfortunate would be infinitely entertaining. 2. I have developed bi-polar disease. or 3. I need to get off this site before I lose my sanity once and for all and my hope for humanity and this nation as a whole. While I have no doubt that some of our senior hubbers would be glad to tell me what to do with my opinions and where to go, in all honesty, I just don't care to listen anymore. This site does little to alleviate any problems, only magnify them. Everyone else, love you, have a good night

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   kirsibposted 15 years ago

   WoW< I must have missed a lot. My truth is that I love written words and I respect the right to speak. So go write and let everyone know what you think!!! Can I give a hub-hug? I'm a hugger

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   wyanjenposted 15 years ago

   Scott, take care.
   *hug*
   You know I'm not a praying person, but you are in my thoughts just the same my friend.

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   dave272727posted 15 years ago

   This thread got deep very fast. 
   Scott I feel for you.  I see my sister and brother-in-law go through this everyday.  He has all the education, ambition, and motivation to work and be successful.  There are just no jobs available.  Everyday I hear about how long he spent at the library or at someone's house using the internet looking for jobs.  Its a shitty situation that the country is in, and it doesnt appear to be getting any better.

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    JustSimple infoposted 15 years ago

    My hidden secret is that I am really Bill Gates Son...
    
    
    Wait did I day dream again?????
    
    
    one of these days he will know that he really has a son of another color!!!!
    
    thats my secret!
    
    
    lol
    
    hidden secrets should stay hidden and secret...... IMO

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    IntimatEvolutionposted 15 years ago

    Looks like I missed all the fun.  Anyone else got a secret to share?

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    TammyKposted 15 years ago

    my secret fantasy is to be with the rapper murphy lee, he's a lot younger than me.  but i could still handle him.  he is sexy to me and i have captured his smile, in mine

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