If you knew the person you were talking about was listening to your conversation, would you change?
If you were gossiping or speaking negatively about another person, and knew that they could hear this conversation, would you change how you speak about them?
What if you treat every conversation as if the person you were talking about was listening, would that make you speak more positively?
In some cases, yes, I would alter what I was saying or keep from saying it. Like when you get really upset and you vent ~ someone listening in might be offended.
Like if I get upset with my hubby & say something like "He's so stupid! He makes me so mad." ~ he isn't really stupid. I'm just frustrated by something stupid he did. If he was listening in, he might think I really believe him to be stupid. (as an example)
In other cases, no, if someone wants to know what I really think, all they have to do is ask. If they prefer to listen in on me talking to someone else about it, fine. I would say the same thing to their face.
It is human nature to once in a while talk about a third person. I have maintained one rule in my life and that is, if I am speaking about a third person (good or bad), I should first have to guts to say the same to his/her face and possibly before someone else tells them. Till date I have been lucky enough to have stuck to that rule and therefore I think I will be able to handle the said situation slightly better.
I have also advised my friends about the same rule and even they think twice before speaking negatively about someone until and unless they have the guts to spill the same (though in a milder language) in front of THE person.
I sincerely try to not speak negatively about anyone to someone else....but if I thought I may be divulging things that would be better left unsaid, and the person could hear me......I'd probably apologize and add that I was merely expressing my opinion and didn't mean to hurt their feelings.
I firmly believe it's human nature to "purge to a third party," as opposed to confronting the person we should actually be talking with. It's easier to VENT than it is to DISCUSS.....know what I mean? If we just need to get something off our chest, we blab to anyone who'll listen. If we'd like to find a solution or come to a peace......we need to speak face to face with the subject of our angst.
So....the CHANGE should be our attitude, to courage and honesty!!
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