Why do the ones who like us have the wrong body and face?!!

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  1. TheAshleyDaily profile image59
    TheAshleyDailyposted 8 years ago

    Why do the ones who like us have the wrong body and face?!!

    Does it ever seem that the ones who posses the intellectual, character qualities, we want, lack in the body shape and cute face department????

  2. Emmyboy profile image82
    Emmyboyposted 8 years ago

    I think it is just one of nature's way of balancing the whole equation and trying to make sure that no one will ever have it all...

    1. lupine profile image74
      lupineposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      That's a good way of looking at it.

  3. annart profile image89
    annartposted 8 years ago

    Maybe, but I've found that the ones who are kind and considerate and love you are by far the best, whatever they look like.  Beauty is only skin deep, after all!

    1. profile image0
      CJ Sledgehammerposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      True...so very true. :0)

    2. lupine profile image74
      lupineposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I agree, I'd rather have someone who is kind, considerate, loving and not be so concerned with looks.

  4. profile image0
    CJ Sledgehammerposted 8 years ago

    Part of the problem, Ashley, is that those who possess the "cuteness" and hot body that you are looking for, more than likely have not undergone the necessary character development or intellectual growth that you hope for...because they are used to their good looks carrying the day.

    People are not unlike a river...we, too, take the path of least resistance. This is to say that many good looking people find it easier to develp their abs, than to develop their intellect or character. That is why...they are in such short supply.

    It is a rare person, indeed, that is the total package - and I'm talking about brains, bod, character, personality, and moral backbone.

    1. annart profile image89
      annartposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Great comment; I totally agree.

    2. lupine profile image74
      lupineposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      So true, I agree with everything you wrote.

    3. TheAshleyDaily profile image59
      TheAshleyDailyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I appreciate your answer. Awesome comment. One of the best I've read on this. Thank you.

    4. profile image0
      CJ Sledgehammerposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Hey...thanks guys!!! I'm glad I could help. :0)

  5. padmendra profile image44
    padmendraposted 8 years ago

    Everything in this world is not perfect .God has divided his love among all with equal share and every division comes with a meaning to our life.
    We must have seen a handicapped person being extra talented with some divine features and these qualities are rarely seen in someone.
    Somebody is beautiful than the ugly is intellectual...this is life and all decided by God. He is the ultimate creator who makes everyone special in their own zone.

    It is because He wants everyone to be liked by people in the world if not by beauty than intellectualism and if not by brain than character .

  6. Charlu profile image77
    Charluposted 8 years ago

    I think we need to learn to love and want for everything but that.  Looks will fade, accidents will happen, sickness will all to often affect us all, finances will fluctuate, and I assure you the ones with with the character, intellect, and morals will be there for the duration. 

    Those with the bodies and looks will all to often be looking for the same thing you are questioning and not always be there to see you through.

    1. DS Duby profile image87
      DS Dubyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      absolutely!

    2. lupine profile image74
      lupineposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, so true.

  7. cebutouristspot profile image74
    cebutouristspotposted 8 years ago

    Hmm never had that problem hahahah smile  But then again am the guy who seek and court the girl I want smile

  8. must65gt profile image82
    must65gtposted 8 years ago

    Society has conditioned us as humans to focus on appearance and stature as a way to measure what we hope a prospective spouse will look like. Many believe you should sleep with a few to know what you REALLY want. In days of old, fathers made agreements as to who their children would marry and it was settled with a hand shake and exchange of dowry. If a person sets their standards based on personality and viewpoints, they will find what God has for them. Sex if you only have it with one person, will be great and you will never have to compare. Looks will always fade, life is short and unexpected. Focus on quality not the physical side. Are you not more than just a face and body. Would you want someone to decide on you based on how you might look naked? And what happens if you are in an accident and lose your attractiveness, would you still expect someone to remain loving and caring? Standards go both ways. Dont be petty..................

  9. DS Duby profile image87
    DS Dubyposted 8 years ago

    Beauty dies the other qualities don't. Focusing on somebodies looks is shallow and meaningless, if a beautiful yet mean person becomes disfigured in an accident their still just a mean person but you can't take away someones inner beauty, it's there to stay.

    1. ReneeDC1979 profile image60
      ReneeDC1979posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Great point DS - the looks do not change or make  the person - the person makes who they are.

    2. lupine profile image74
      lupineposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I have know some very attractive people, that could be very mean...you don't even want to be around them.

  10. multiculturalsoul profile image80
    multiculturalsoulposted 8 years ago

    Would you rather have someone cute to look at for the rest of your life but have difficulty talking to or connecting with intellectually and spiritually, or would you rather have someone "fair to middlin'" (a Southern-ism) who you can talk to and connect with intellectually and spiritually for the rest of your life? True love is deeper than face value.

    1. EuroCafeAuLait profile image82
      EuroCafeAuLaitposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Very well said, and I couldn't agree with you more. Honestly, I want both but whenever I connect with anyone on this level my heart and head do somersalts because it's such a wonderful gift to connect with a person on this spiritually deeper level.

  11. ReneeDC1979 profile image60
    ReneeDC1979posted 8 years ago

    Great question!  There are plenty of times I have met guys who meet my standards, but there is no physical attraction.  I think it counts for alot, but it is not the answer to a great question.  I think my best relationships were with the guys who kept me laughing and stimulated intellectually because the more I looked at them I thought, "Yuck!"  So I think if we remember that looks fade and body types change, relationships and finding the right person will come natural.

    1. EuroCafeAuLait profile image82
      EuroCafeAuLaitposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I know someone who really hit it off with a guy who was "not her equal".  After they got to know each other better she realized he was playing his attributes down and they are actually quite well matched.  Just goes to show that love will find a way!

    2. TheAshleyDaily profile image59
      TheAshleyDailyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Hey I couldn't think of it last night when I posted it but yes, physical attraction! It's apart of the choosing factor. Now some people personalities will make them attractive....

  12. Tinsky profile image93
    Tinskyposted 8 years ago

    If this is the case for you, then my opinion is you just haven't found Mr Right yet.  And that's not saying Mr Right is going to end up having the intellectual character qualities you desire and the good looks.  He may end up having none of those qualities you believe you want in a good man.  In the end, it comes down to chemistry.  And when the chemistry works for both of you, many of the things you may have desired in a partner often become obsolete, or take back seat to those wonderful chemical reactions that occur when you fall in love.

    1. TheAshleyDaily profile image59
      TheAshleyDailyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      This is one of the best answers I heard all day!

  13. debbiepinkston profile image78
    debbiepinkstonposted 8 years ago

    I don't think anyone has the "wrong body" or "wrong face".  We are all created the way we are supposed to be. 

    Not everyone is blessed with physical beauty, but in the long run of relationships, physical beauty isn't the most important quality.  Even the best looking people grow old, and then what? I prefer to be with a person who has beautiful internal qualities rather that external beauty, because the outside will change with time, but internal beauty only gets more beautiful.

    Successful relationships have nothing to do with a hot body or a great face, they have everything to do with respect, love, patience, understanding and empathy.

  14. Peter Leeper profile image60
    Peter Leeperposted 8 years ago

    Maybe Beauty is in the eye of the beholder?  I know it is cliche but are looks all that really matter to you?  Does the person have to be perfect in every regard?  Are you?

    I think sometimes people set the bar way too high for themselves and wind up being alone and wondering why.

    Imagine how many awesome people you might pass up because they don't look like George Clooney.

  15. Frank Atanacio profile image79
    Frank Atanacioposted 8 years ago

    age takes care of the body and face and if that's what you're looking for in a mate..  then shallow you'll always be..  of course if you find someone who lacks the body and shape.. and you know he or she is a keeper.. then perhaps you can work together to reach goals..  yeah?  bless you

    1. TheAshleyDaily profile image59
      TheAshleyDailyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Yes aging will take away the looks of both body and face but should I have to be with a toad? I believe I will find somebody that is attractive to my eyes! So if that makes me shallow, I will be shallow. Bless you!

  16. ftclick profile image56
    ftclickposted 8 years ago

    Whoa!  I know a very good looking person and guess what happened to them. A skin disease that resembled chicken pox which left scars and more. So you would dump the person b/c of an appearance flaw. You gotta rethink that. I get the body remark b/c that is a lack of effort and laziness trait which sometimes can be corrected.

  17. That Grrl profile image78
    That Grrlposted 8 years ago

    Maybe you're being a little shallow. I pick the person over the outside package every time. I'd much rather have someone I can laugh with than someone I just want to look at and then put away in some drawer when I lose interest in them.

  18. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

    Depending on how old someone is and what their purpose for dating is, looks or physical attibutes may be very important. An eighteen year old is not necessarily looking for his or her "soul mate". They want to be with someone they consider to be hot and fun to be around.
    In fact it is generally after we've experienced some heartaches that we slowly change our priority of trait requirments we want in a mate. Having said that I still suspect more women are open to dating men they don't find attractive then there are men willing to. I've never had a male friend tell me you should go out with (plain Jane) because she's "nice" or "sweet".
    Author Lori Gottlieb wrote a book titled "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough". I can't imagine too many guys buying a book suggesting the same philosophy for choosing a wife. :-)

  19. lupine profile image74
    lupineposted 8 years ago

    It's not that they have the wrong body or face, but maybe it's not the one you were hoping for. We don't always get what we want in a "perfect" package. Never judge anyone for their physical looks! They may be what somebody else was looking for, but they chose you. That may be a good reason to give them a chance as a friend and see if anything develops from there. The good thing is...that person already likes you. How many times have you liked someone that was to your taste, but they didn't have any feelings for you?

  20. TheAshleyDaily profile image59
    TheAshleyDailyposted 8 years ago

    Ok, I didn't post this to be a deep question. And no I am not shallow. Looks are indeed fleeting and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Heck, some of you may not that I'm attractive. But's lets be real first, often times when you FIRST meet someone, many times it is based on looks! If I walk past you in the mall and don't part my lips, the only thing you can see is my looks.

    I surely would take a stable, loving, caring guy over a hot stud who couldn't do a thing for me anyday. However, I don't believe I have to settle for ugly joe schmuck either. I believe people can get the best of both worlds. I know people who are married to beauty and brains, amongst other attributes.

    So no, I'm not being shallow. Looks will go away but to say, they don't matter is a little extreme. I don't care who you are, you want somebody who is soft on your eyes.

    Different circumstances breed different responses. Can I love a disfigured person? Absolutely. Love the mess out of them. Love is not based on looks as you all as clearly stated.

    Just as I try to maintain my outside appearance, so I can look breath taking for my future lover, I hope they, whoever they are, will do the same.

    And while some of you are sitting at your computer, with your opinions of me, I bet you didn't jump on everyone who wanted your attention, based on looks alone...

  21. Tnagaria profile image60
    Tnagariaposted 8 years ago

    Sweety, its all in your mind. If you've been conditioned to believe that what you just said, intelligence and goodlooks is a rare combo, you will only attract men who lack in the department of good looks if they are intelligent, and the vice versa. Change your belief and your reality will change. Besides a lot of us are conditioned by our outside world to not accept ourself the way we are, the if only's play a very important role in the way we look and percieve ourself.
    All I want to say about these beliefs is that if a lotus says I will only love myself If I start to look like the rose, not just is the lotus under estimating its beauty but also reducing its own worth and value, because the lotus is just as perfect and just as beautiful being the lotus as the rose is perfect being the rose.
    And about men, change your belief and u might just find yourself attracting men who are a combo of good looks and intelligence, and if you havnt come accross someone u find attractive yet, why worry? There are loads of other men there. I'm sure one of them will suit your standards:)
    Read my hub and you will know exactly what I am talking about smile
    http://tnagaria.hubpages.com/hub/Why-is … -messed-up
    Cheers

 
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