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In a relationship who should love more, the male or the female?
In an african setting, i've heard something like a girl should marry the man who loves her (this could be mutual) and not the one she loves. It helps for a long lasting stable relationship? Now this was during the polygamous era but do you still think its applicable now?
It is said that we can only give what we have got, and when it comes to love, the first requirement is we love ourselves. How can we love another if we don't love ourselves. We can't give what we haven't got inside us.
Fortunately, we all have love inside us. It is a matter of bringing it into our hearts and then acknowledging it. Once there, we are able to love others because that is what we're now able to give.
So it isn't a matter of who should love more. The answer is both the male and the female. When you don't NEED another but love them for what they are, you're going to be pretty happy as a couple, no matter what live throws at you.
Men and women have entirely different needs, or we interpret our needs differently than one another. A woman has a need to be loved, while men get the same fulfillment from being respected.Therefore, a woman needs to marry a man who she respects and who loves her, and a man needs to marry a woman who respects him and who he loves.
Men process respect the same way that women process love. If a woman marries a man who she loves but who does not her, her respect for her man will often deteriorate, because women compensate for a lack of feeling loved by nagging or otherwise being disrespectful toward her man.
Love can develop over time, especially from a woman who first respects her husband. A good relationship is based on a combination of love and respect, in great measure. This is an exchange, and a good marriage is a partnership and an exchange of needs based on what our partners need.
Men and women should love each other equally as according to each individual love language. It may appear that one requires more as an effort to feel loved, but realistically, if one gives more then they may resent the other because their personal needs aren't being met
There is also a saying that goes: "The person with the least amount of interest in the relationship (controls) it."
Personally speaking I don't think I could spend the rest of my life with someone I did not love simply because they were "in love" with me and would do anything I asked. This reminds me of a hit song from the 1960s by Jimmy Soul that stated: "If you want to happy for the rest of your life never make a pretty girl your wife."
The implication is an ugly woman would be(grateful), try harder, love, and appreciate her man while a beautiful one would be demanding and forever draw out competitors. Odds are if you don't love the person you are with you are far my likely to be open to cheating on them. In my opinion the definition of a soul-mate is when both people share the same values, want the same things for the relationship, agree on how to get those things, and (mutually) feel the same depth of love for one another.
There's nothing wrong with causal dating or even (friends with benefits) for that matter but if one has decided to be (in) a relationship or get married then they may as well be (all in) and shoot for the moon! I'd rather be in a situation where both me and my mate are crazy in love with one another. - One man's opinion! :-)
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