Do women like this exist, or is this a male fantasy?

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  1. profile image52
    lovelylovergirlposted 11 years ago

    It is my unfortunate insecurity speaking. My past boyfriend would make it seem like he could get any girl he wanted. I always so lucky to have him. Not just him, I have had a history of boyfriends who made me feel precisely this way. I recently came in contact with my ex, he is playing the nice guy card again.

    My ex always made it seem like incredibly beautiful women were waiting, throwing themselves at them? I was just an option and i had to feel somehow lucky to be with them. I know you may not relate. My best friend is the same situation. Her boyfriend who is not the hottest makes her feel the same way.

    Is this idea of an extremely attractive woman willing to have sex with anyone or "unattractive" men a male fantasy?

    1. profile image0
      Peelander Gallyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      The question is not whether an actress or supermodel would date your guy; obviously they never would. Both you and your friend need to dump those losers ASAP.

    2. chelle Life profile image61
      chelle Lifeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You should never let any man make you feel less then who you are.You are a WOMAN and that you should be proud of. Men sometimes do and act like they do because it just maybe that when they stand beside you they feel ugly or small. Men have insecurities too

    3. Marisa Wright profile image88
      Marisa Wrightposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes it's a male fantasy, but it's also a male con trick.  Young, immature men play this game to pressure their girlfriends into sex.  You know - if you want to be my girlfriend, you'd better come across, because if not there are plenty of other beautiful girls waiting in line to blow my ****

      Boys learn from each other!  Apparently this line is common in Australian high schools - and the girls fall for it, unfortunately.

    4. savvydating profile image88
      savvydatingposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Good thing he is a past boyfriend. The truth is that some men know how to play some women. You will have to become a woman who can read men and immediately walk away from those guys who show you their red or even their pink flags. With practice, it gets easier to do. Your ex-boyfriend actually let you know the minute he uttered those words that he is a bonafide jerk. To answer your question, your ex is living in a fantasy land. A woman who can read signs would not stay with him for one minute.

    5. Greekgeek profile image80
      Greekgeekposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      He sounds like a creep playing on your insecurity.

      And if he's so certain lots of women are going to throw themselves at him all the time, well, women all over the carpet make a mess and are hard to vacuum around. (Not to mention more awkward long-term problems.)

      I'd look for a guy who tells you he can't tell if any other women are beautiful because he's too biased towards you. smile

      Seriously, if he's too busy thinking about how he can get all those other women, then clearly he's too much of a flake to be committed to any one of them. That's not a considerate partner, and he's just stroking his own ego -- and probably lying to himself -- to try and bully you into feeling less secure.

      It sounds pretty childish, really. "I'm sooooo wonderful! I'm sooooo great! I'm such a sexy guy! MEMEMEMEME! Oh, you're a woman? Well, obviously, you exist to worship ME!"

      That's how babies act -- minus the "sexy" --  they instinctively believe the world revolves around them. Most boys, thankfully, grow out of this by age 5.

    6. dashingscorpio profile image82
      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      There are two things going on here. The first is the general perception that (women) are more interested in being in a relationship or getting married. Essentially more men believe there are (women lined up) looking to get married than there are men lined up to get married to women. Is it any wonder they would believe this because of all the stuff the media spews out with books and workshops such as: How to find a husband in 30 days! How to prepare the "engagement chicken" dinner, How to get your man to commit, How to make him fall in love with you, How to be the perfect girlfriend, What do men really think and want....etc
      Another example is how society views a 40 year old man and a woman who have never been married. It's automatically (assumed) the man is not married because he (doesn't) want to be. On the other hand it would be considered "rude" to ask the woman why she never got married because it's possible no man ever proposed to her.
      Another (common) statement often made by women is: "A good man is hard to find." You rarely hear a lot of men claim that a good woman is (hard to find). So naturally after hearing this stuff and reading about it a guy who considers himself to be "good" sees himself as being in the (minority). Therefore any woman he's with is "lucky" to have him.
      And if he happens to be financially successful or considered good-looking then he will really believe he is something "special". Last but not least (women) are drawn towards men that are super confident/borderline arrogant. They want to believe they beat out other women who would love to have a man like him!
      As for your question : Is this idea of an extremely attractive woman willing to have sex with anyone or "unattractive" men a male fantasy?
      There are two ways men look at this; if he is rich or famous he can have any woman he wants! Hugh Hefner is 86 years old and just married a "beautiful" 26 year old. Can you imagine that being reversed? Not likely.
      The next example of why men believe this is because if they catch a beautiful woman that has had her heart broken several times she may be of the mindset that she willing to overlook a man's appearance in order to have a stable relationship with a loving trustworthy man. In fact there is a book for women titled: The Case for Marrying Mr. Good Enough. Once again this feeds into the mentality that "good men" are hard to find and even if he is not good looking or your don't feel any chemistry towards him don't blow your chance at having stable relationship/marriage.

  2. sabrebIade profile image83
    sabrebIadeposted 11 years ago

    "Is this idea of an extremely attractive woman willing to have sex with anyone or "unattractive" men a male fantasy?"

    That is male defense position one.
    "There are hundreds of beautiful women out there just waiting for me."
    Sometimes they even convince themselves of that.
    But in my 50 some years, what I have seen is men who say that wind up with women that would make a freight train take a dirt road.

    Besides, you know it's not all about beauty.
    If a man really loves you that type of thinking would never enter his mind.
    If he is a real man that is.
    YOU are not lucky, HE is.

  3. luvpassion profile image63
    luvpassionposted 11 years ago

    Contrary to the male ego, all women aren't whores! It's okay to lavish your man and treat him like he is Gods gift to women as long as he treats you the same.

    If a man feels he is Gods gift to all women then you have a problem and should let him find the truth the hard way.

    Good luck.

    1. chelle Life profile image61
      chelle Lifeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      So true about what you said about treating each other as Gods and Godess. It makes for a happy couple. They  seem to have more trust in each other as well.

      1. luvpassion profile image63
        luvpassionposted 11 years agoin reply to this

        lovelylovergirl sounds young and hurt...often this can be a disappointing time before finding a trusting relationship I hope she doesn't give up on herself.

        Merry Meet smile

        1. chelle Life profile image61
          chelle Lifeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

          I hope she doesn't either life is too short to give up. That special person may still be out there for her or maybe right in front of her.

  4. jponiato profile image88
    jponiatoposted 11 years ago

    I certainly can't speak for anyone else, but a woman who is willing to have sex with anyone, no matter how attractive, is no fantasy of mine.

    1. luvpassion profile image63
      luvpassionposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      My understanding of the situation is her ex makes her feel inferior by saying beautiful women were lined up to jump into bed with him....which is absurd to say the least. roll

      Unless of course he is George Clooney or something. I don't think he'd make any woman feel inferior. Wouldn't mind finding out though. big_smile

  5. Shadesbreath profile image79
    Shadesbreathposted 11 years ago

    If he doesn't make you feel like you are the hottest woman in his life, then get rid of him. Let those other women have him if they want him so bad. (Assuming they exist.)

    What kind of a douchebag tells his girlfriend that anyway? Oh wait, a douchebag. That's what kind.

    You deserve better. Get therapy if you don't feel you deserve better, because you do. If you can't see that you do or feel it, then you need help finding out how.

  6. profile image0
    ahorsebackposted 11 years ago

    Bottom line , any man {or woman] who plays the "I can get anything I want " is an idiot and not worthy of a decent mate! If my wife or girlfriend said that I would physicaly help them move!

  7. tsmog profile image85
    tsmogposted 11 years ago

    Is this idea of an extremely attractive woman willing to have sex with anyone or "unattractive" men a male fantasy?

    The fantasy is just that - a fantasy. Run with the fantasy and not the comparison. Obviously this question is of intimacy rather than sex, in my view. If sexuality or questioning if the boy friend is attracted to you sexually then don't. He is. He like all humans have fantasies. He is blundering trying to communicate he doesn't feel attractive 'to' you. The question he is communicating is 'Am I (being him the boyfriend) attractive enough to you to fulfill fantasy of uninhibited sex of some kind, which is how a male tends to express intimacy.

    In other words he is displaying his insecurity with his self on a sexual or sexuality plane. I know it is cliche, but studies show men get intimacy and sex confused. It it there nature so to speak. His inner self may be crying out I want intimacy, this is how I have been socialized by the media, friends, etc to get it.

    Revealing fantasy is a key to unlocking the male's real issue, which is intimacy. Many comments here have been provided by maturer individuals who have learned this. But, the 19 - 23 year old just doesn't know how. Consider who his teachers are. Religious background? What movies are watched? Type of friends clustering together secretly wishing the answer is revealed to their inner hunger for intimacy, yet a baboon so to speak regarding it.

    They are clueless.

  8. kkuma01 profile image60
    kkuma01posted 11 years ago

    Why are YOU buying into THEIR fantasy and erroneous view of who you are? People treat you like you allow them to treat you.

    1. profile image0
      Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      What is the saying? "If a woman wants to have sex, all she has to do is say 'yes.'"
      It's actually you who could go to bed with most anyone she chooses, so be choosey. Choose love and love wisely. Don't waste your time with men like this. You have infinite value. Keep your knees together until you've met someone worth giving your heart to. Love yourself.

      1. dashingscorpio profile image82
        dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

        Excellent point Beth37!

        I think most likely these men (believe) they could jump into a (relationship or get married) any time (they want) because: "Good men are hard to find".  This conviction is beat into society's concious by the media, books, seminars/workshops, and magazine articles geared towards (women) tyring to help them find one of the "few" (good men). Any guy who considers himself one of the "few" believes he's in high demand. :-)
        This forum also inspired a hub I wrote a few days ago. … -have-them

  9. psycheskinner profile image81
    psycheskinnerposted 10 years ago

    If he would have sex with other people given the opportunity, he will eventually get the opportunity.  If you want a monogamous relationship, this is the wrong guy.


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