Absolutely Lisa, Once their is no trust, there is no longer a relationship.
No; but it depends. No one trusts each other with everything 100% of the time. That would be silly. The question is, how much do you care about not trusting someone to any degree? Does the level of distrust lead to obsessive control or loss of privacy or freedom? If this is the case, I don't see how the relationship can work.
To me lack of trust is a virus. It just breeds things that I do not want to deal with in a relationship. On one side, I don't want to have to babysit someone, second guess them, question them, or deal with the feelings of doubt and suspicion that come from not being able to trust someone. It does not sound like fun to me. I would rather leave. On the other side, I would not be able to take that same behavior towards me if for some reason I was the one that was not trusted. It just really sounds like a crappy deal and one that is destined for breaking. How long you prolong it and what dramatic story you accept in the process is really up to you.
It is for me. If I can't trust my husband, or family member, or friend, then there is no foundation on which to build a solid loving relationship. I really could not give of myself to someone I could not trust.
Yes. If you can't trust someone, the relationship becomes stressed. You have to monitor what you tell them in case they use it against you. If you believe they are going behind your back, you still have to monitor what you say so one day they make a mistake and you find out what their sneaking for.
I personally can't imagine choosing to stay in a "relationship" with someone I did not trust. It's like asking to be hurt over and over again.
Then again I guess you could say you trust them to be "untrustworthy". Once you figure out a person it's easier to set your expectations and make a decision as to whether or not you want to continue your association with them.
In business however sometimes you have to deal wlith untrustworthy people and it becomes a game of chess. However most people would not enjoy having to try to outsmart their mate or having to guess if they are being honest. That's too much work!
Trust is about vulnerability. Once we 'give' trust to someone, we are tied to that entity (trust) being self sufficient. There's little space for 'grey'... we do or we do not trust...we can't 'trust a little'.
But a relationship lives in that vulnerable space. We are tied to a person we trust (especially in a romantic, caring, monagamous [sp?] relationship) by a bond that is supposed to be special and unbreakable. But to be honest, the only bond I know of in my near forty years on this earth that is unbreakable is the love of a parent for a child. No matter what a child may do in their life, no matter the troubles, missed lessons, their inability to see life in a different way.... parents will always love their children (yes there's likely exceptions to this as well).
We are assuming a lot by asking the question on trust. We assume we, as adults, understand what trust means, how you attain it, how you maintain it. What we don't know about another adult is the way they learned what trust means, feels like, how to give it, how to maintain it. Therein lies the crux of the answer. For if we could see how trust was maintained - for people growing up, it may be "I trust that guy with my life because....." and it could be one instance in their life where one had protected, saved, looked out for etc the other. And that could be enough. Maybe trust is about an infinite time span.
For people in a relationship with a partner, one who questions "I trusted you and now you've done this...." Maybe trust is conditional 'if you do this...., then... I pull back my trust'.... So the whole idea of fully trusting someone is confusing in definition as it is in a person's ability to define it and maintain it with others.
If I say I trust someone, I need to know they are aware of what that means for me. Expectations of others abilities to surmise my definitions, exemptions, exceptions... is a little much.
And, it again goes back to vulnerability. Am I so not ok with what they have done that I will agree to let go of all we have built so that I can prove the point "It is not ok"? Or is the vulnerability of continuing a relationship on the premise we as a couple figure out how to get back what may have lost. If the belief is that all is lost on the action of one individual... then... there may not be any chance to get anything back. If the belief is trust has an infinite life span, then, regaining and maintaining it may not feel so daunting.....
I personally believe trust is the foundation of a strong relationship. If a relationship is not build on this foundation, it's bound to tumble - period! In a nutshell, here is my little mnemonic for describing a relationship that is based on trust;
T - Truly
R - Respectful
U - United
S - Sincere
T - Two
***A truly respectful, united and sincere two.****
P.S. Sound kind of crappy? Maybe you can come up with something better. This is just something, I have managed to come up with quickly!
Trust is an essential key to any relationship. The foundation of whether to let one any closer into you inner circle or not. If one can not keep a not so personal event, situation or circumstance as private....they will not be able to keep the important one's either. If one wants something I have and takes it without asking....what more will one take that I am unaware of? Or, if one ask with deceptive motives and it is later discovered....what more has one taken from me that was gained through deception, lies and pretense? The truth may not always be easy to face....but, forthrightness is a virtue.
Trust is really a huge issue in a relationship. If a person lies to you, cheats and is generally dishonest, then you will never be in a happy relationship. But you need to be careful. Distrust can be a very good reason for ending a relationship, but on the other hand, where does the distrust stem from? Did the person give you reason for you not to trust them. A lot of times, unintentionally we bring distrust from one relationship into another and it could be that you just have an issue of your own to deal with. If this is the case then you would need to not be so quick to accuse the other person of things, you will need to be able to communicate your feelings and talk about why you are feeling this way. If you are in a good solid relationship with good communication, you may be able to save your relationship and each work on the issues.
Absolutely, without a doubt! Not being able to trust a partner in ANY relationship ( friendship, business, romance, marriage) is a recipe for disaster.
yes to me trust and truth are the key ingredients in relationship. without trust you can't be happy in relationship.
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