Is distrust a deal breaker in a relationship?

Jump to Last Post 1-13 of 13 discussions (14 posts)
  1. lisasuniquevoice profile image69
    lisasuniquevoiceposted 8 years ago

    Is distrust a deal breaker in a relationship?

  2. profile image0
    JThomp42posted 8 years ago

    Absolutely Lisa, Once their is no trust, there is no longer a relationship.

  3. profile image0
    Old Empresarioposted 8 years ago

    No; but it depends. No one trusts each other with everything 100% of the time. That would be silly. The question is, how much do you care about not trusting someone to any degree? Does the level of distrust lead to obsessive control or loss of privacy or freedom? If this is the case, I don't see how the relationship can work.

  4. Moms-Secret profile image82
    Moms-Secretposted 8 years ago

    To me lack of trust is a virus.  It just breeds things that I do not want to deal with in a relationship.  On one side, I don't want to have to babysit someone, second guess them, question them, or deal with the feelings of doubt and suspicion that come from not being able to trust someone.  It does not sound like fun to me.  I would rather leave.  On the other side, I would not be able to take that same behavior towards me if for some reason I was the one that was not trusted.  It just really sounds like a crappy deal and one that is destined for breaking.  How long you prolong it and what dramatic story you accept in the process is really up to you.

  5. duffsmom profile image60
    duffsmomposted 8 years ago

    It is for me. If I can't trust my husband, or family member, or friend, then there is no foundation on which to build a solid loving relationship. I really could not give of myself to someone I could not trust.

    1. profile image0
      JThomp42posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Totally agree!

  6. lburmaster profile image79
    lburmasterposted 8 years ago

    Yes. If you can't trust someone, the relationship becomes stressed. You have to monitor what you tell them in case they use it against you. If you believe they are going behind your back, you still have to monitor what you say so one day they make a mistake and you find out what their sneaking for.

  7. dashingscorpio profile image86
    dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

    I personally can't imagine choosing to stay in a "relationship" with someone I did not trust. It's like asking to be hurt over and over again.
    Then again I guess you could say you trust them to be "untrustworthy". Once you figure out a person it's easier to set your expectations and make a decision as to whether or not you want to continue your association with them.
    In business however sometimes you have to deal wlith untrustworthy people and it becomes a game of chess. However most people would not enjoy having to try to outsmart their mate or having to guess if they are being honest. That's too much work!

  8. Enigmatic Me profile image79
    Enigmatic Meposted 8 years ago

    Trust is about vulnerability. Once we 'give' trust to someone, we are tied to that entity (trust) being self sufficient. There's little space for 'grey'... we do or we do not trust...we can't 'trust a little'.
    But a relationship lives in that vulnerable space. We are tied to a person we trust (especially in a romantic, caring, monagamous [sp?] relationship) by a bond that is  supposed to be special and unbreakable. But to be honest, the only bond I know of in my near forty years on this earth that is unbreakable is the love of a parent for a child. No matter what a child may do in their life, no matter the troubles, missed lessons, their inability to see life in a different way.... parents will always love their children (yes there's likely exceptions to this as well).
    We are assuming a lot by asking the question on trust. We assume we, as adults, understand what trust means, how you attain it, how you maintain it. What we don't know about another adult is the way they learned what trust means, feels like, how to give it, how to maintain it. Therein lies the crux of the answer. For if we could see how trust was maintained - for people growing up, it may be "I trust that guy with my life because....." and it could be one instance in their life where one had protected, saved, looked out for etc the other. And that could be enough. Maybe trust is about an infinite time span.
    For people in a relationship with a partner, one who questions "I trusted you and now you've done this...." Maybe trust is conditional 'if you do this...., then...  I pull back my trust'.... So the whole idea of fully trusting someone is confusing in definition as it is in a person's ability to define it and maintain it with others.
    If I say I trust someone, I need to know they are aware of what that means for me. Expectations of others abilities to surmise my definitions, exemptions, exceptions... is a little much.
    And, it again goes back to vulnerability. Am I so not ok with what they have done that I will agree to let go of all we have built so that I can prove the point "It is not ok"? Or is the vulnerability of continuing a relationship on the premise we as a couple figure out how to get back what may have lost. If the belief is that all is lost on the action of one individual... then... there may not be any chance to get anything back. If the belief is trust has an infinite life span, then, regaining and maintaining it may not feel so daunting.....

  9. mackyi profile image71
    mackyiposted 8 years ago

    I personally believe trust is the foundation of a strong relationship. If a relationship is not build on this foundation, it's bound to tumble - period! In a nutshell, here is my little mnemonic for describing a relationship that is based on trust;
    T - Truly
    R - Respectful
    U - United
    S - Sincere
    T - Two

    ***A truly respectful, united and sincere two.****

    P.S. Sound kind of crappy? Maybe you can come up with something better. This is just something, I have managed to come up with quickly!

  10. Cordelia Bay profile image60
    Cordelia Bayposted 8 years ago

    Trust is an essential key to any relationship. The foundation of whether to let one any closer into you inner circle or not. If one can not keep a not so personal event, situation or circumstance as private....they will not be able to keep the important one's either. If one wants something I have and takes it without asking....what more will one take that I am unaware of? Or, if one ask with deceptive motives and it is later discovered....what more has one taken from me that was gained through deception, lies and pretense? The truth may not always be easy to face....but, forthrightness is a virtue.

  11. jennshealthstore profile image86
    jennshealthstoreposted 8 years ago

    Trust is really a huge issue in a relationship. If a person lies to you, cheats and is generally dishonest, then you will never be in a happy relationship.  But you need to be careful. Distrust can be a very good reason for ending a relationship, but on the other hand, where does the distrust stem from? Did the person give you reason for you not to trust them. A lot of times, unintentionally we bring distrust from one relationship into another and it could be that you just have an issue of your own to deal with. If this is the case then you would need to not be so quick to accuse the other person of things, you will need to be able to communicate your feelings and talk about why you are feeling this way. If you are in a good solid relationship with good communication, you may be able to save your relationship and each work on the issues.

  12. cat on a soapbox profile image95
    cat on a soapboxposted 8 years ago

    Absolutely, without a doubt! Not being able to trust a partner in ANY relationship ( friendship, business, romance, marriage)  is a recipe for disaster.

  13. kiranferoz profile image61
    kiranferozposted 8 years ago

    yes to me trust and truth are the key ingredients in relationship. without trust you can't be happy in relationship.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)