Men, what do you most dislike about Valentine's Day?
Lots of men tell me they dislike Valentine's Day and that they would rather skip it. To the men out there . . . what do you dislike most about Valentine's Day?
Trying to guess what your woman is expecting, if you are lucky enough to have a woman fall in love with you. That and the constant pressure from businesses trying to sell stuff.
Appreciate your response. Is it always necessary to buy something? There are many ways to show your love and I think some of the best ones do not involve money. Have a special dinner at home. Turn off the phone and have some quality time . . .
I agree. It's the constant ads that bother me. I feel the need to make one comment, that waiting for Valentines day to make a special dinner for someone is a mistake that men make. That needs to be done on non holidays, and not as an apology.
I feel I have to rant ... :~)
Do I really need ONE day of the year to show my wife how much I love her? Aren't I supposed to love her every day? What makes February 14 special?
And why does everything have to be red? Red is not her color, okay? She's an earth tone woman. Where are the earth tones?
And why roses? She doesn't like roses. She likes plants that don't die after a week in a vase.
And why chocolate? What if she's on a diet? What if she doesn't like most of those "samplers" and only eats half of each one in a quest to find THE one? That's a waste of food!
And why lingerie, which has to be the worst spelling for a word that's pronounced LAWN-jer-AY? What if I get her T-shirts and shorts, her usual nightly wear? Do they have to be red or pink satin? Really?
And why are there so many HUGE FREAKING CARDS with HUGE FREAKING ENVELOPES? Couldn't I just TELL her I love her and save ten bucks?
Man, I'm going to get her a box of these sweethearts and call it a night. Wait. This one says, "Will U B Mine?" SHE ALREADY IS! We're WAY past playing games like this ...
Thus ends my rant.
Good points to consider...celebrate your way and everyday!
There's not even an unwritten law that says you must give roses, or anything red, but I very much appreciate that you chose to rant here and share your thoughts. More men should be as candid. Thank you.
In my case it is the fact that it should be called St. Valentine's Day because of its association with a most wonderful Saint (martyr) who indeed lost his life for His cause.
Some popular customs associated with Saint Valentine's Day undoubtedly had their origin in a conventional belief generally received in England and France during the Middle Ages, that on 14 February, (i.e. half way through the second month of the year) the birds began to pair. Thus in Chaucer's Parliament of Foules we read: “For this was sent on Seynt Valentyne's day
Whan every foul cometh ther to choose his mate.”
Valentine seems so artificial.It is strange feeling for most of people because they can't predict when some stupid person approach them for the same reason and make them feel crazy.Other hand i think that day is related with marriage conflict in Europe, so i think it does not reflect love oriented but more related to rights of marriage.
The person may approach their crush depending upon circumstances not necessary to be artificially romantic only because of that particular day.
I don't think love is artificial for very many women. Any act of love is only as artificial as you choose to make it. Do you think it's artificial to celebrate someone's existence on their designated birthday instead of a day of your own choosing?
The people can celebrate their first day when they approached each other or some their special days. I don't want to seem rude but how can we celebrate others birthday as own?
No one has said anything about celebrating someone's birthday as their own. You don't seem rude. You seem not to understand English very well.
I hate Valentine's Day with a passion!!!
Valentine's Day is really nothing more than "Female Adulation Day". It is a day when guys have to spend their hard earned money to prove themselves worthy to daddy's little princess.
Not long ago, I was waiting patiently to get my hair cut the day before Valentine's Day. It was the longest hour of my life as I had to listen to three female hair stylists speed talk about what their man was getting them for Valentine's Day. Never once did they mention what they were going to do for him.
After about 45 minutes I couldn't take it anymore and just blurted out, "I've had to listen to you all talk about what you are getting and how much money is being spent on you...but I have yet to hear any of you say what you will be giving!"
An uneasy silence gripped the floor as these women looked at me, scissors in hand, like deer looking into oncoming headlights. It must have been the most blasphemous thing they had ever heard. After about 30 seconds of uneasy silence...the head blonde casually said, " He gets me."
Truth be known, during the 1980's an intense study was conducted regarding Valentine's Day. Every woman's magazine imaginable was scrutinized nearing Valentine's Day. Not one....in ten years...ever mentioned or even suggested women were to get something for their man...it was always about what they could expect, what they should hope for or what they should demand. That's why I say Valentine's Day is a FAD (Female Adulation Day).
According to retailers, the average man spends $300 on His Valentine, whereas the average woman only spends about $50 on her's.
At the end of the day...it's a retailer's dream come true, but it's a nightmare for most guys. The only ones who win on Valentine's Day are retailers, women, and 33% of the guys who get laid for their efforts. Sad but true.
No one ever spent $300 on me for Valentine's Day, nor do I know anyone who was so spoiled. I would like to hope the self-centeredness of the women you overheard talking was the exception. Thank you for your thoughts.
It is not the exception...it is the rule. Years and years of programming have led many women to believe that they are the "have all end all" of human existence. Valentine's Day is just another day and another way our society worships women.
CJ you are so right about the ,"He gets me" I've heard women say this as well. Once I was shopping @ Circuit City and one female co-worker told another, "I need to find a man to pay my bills". I said what does he get? She said: "He gets me." LOL!
Right you are, Dashing!!! Many American women have been socialized into thinking they are the gift that keeps on giving. They think they are soooo special that offering you a smile is worth millions. I don't think the world has ever seen such egos.
CJ, $300 sounds about right! ($75 for long stem roses (plus $20 for delivery) to make her co-workers envious, $45 for a "nice box" of chocolates $7 for a large heart shaped balloon, $7 for a greeting card, $150 for dinner at a "nice" restaurant +gift
Dashing: Sounds like allot of trouble to go through just to get served divorce papers within the first 5 years of marriage. This self esteem junk they have been preaching to women the past few decades is killing all the romantic feelings men have.
LOL I thought the head blonde was saying to her colleagues that she was going to do your hair and I was waiting with baited breath to see whether she shaved your head or what? silly me....
Indeed...I was lucky to make it out of there alive and with my head still intact. :0)
I promise not all of us woman are so self centered and conceited. My husband and I treat our selves as a couple - we plan a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant and skip the flowers and candy. He tells me everyday how much he loves me and I reciprocate.
CJ Sledgehammer, I suggest you go to a regular baber shop next time, or don't go so close to FAD. Good thinking...leaving before you were up.
CJ, Several years ago there was a book titled: "Women who love too much" I have yet to bump into a man who has met one of these women. LOL! (A 5 year marriage is a lifetime in Hollywood). They say it is better to have loved and lost, then not love
I think a far more accurate title would have been "Women Who Obsess Too Much". I think I have met many more women in my lifetime that are obsessive and controlling than are truly loving. I think they sometimes think these terms are interchangable.
Just like every holiday, retailers have commercialized it so that it has taken the true meaning away from Valentine's day. Who needs one day a year to really express their love?
You sound as if you have no control over commercialization. No one can take the meaning out of anything for you unless you let them. Read my hub on Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. Thank you for your sharing your thoughts.
Yes, I have complete control over it. Say for instance, normally you can buy a dozen red roses for around$40, during Valentines they are around $80 or more. No, I will not fall into that trap.
There are two main reasons why a lot of men don't care for Valentine's Day.
1. If the relationship is fairly new or casual most of the Valentine's cards/gifts are designed for couples that are "in love". The choices of cards either proclaim one's undying love or they say something along the lines of "To Someone Special". Giving the wrong card/gift can send the wrong signal in a new relationship.
2. Even if you are in a loving committed relationship you learn early only that unlike other holidays such as Christmas where retailers (lower prices) they do exactly the opposite for Valentine's Day. A dozen roses that may have been $29 or $35 dollars are now $75 or higher, restaurants throw out their "normal menu" and insert a "special" Valentine's Day menu with higher price options. This is especially true if the holiday falls on Sunday. Suddenly the champagne brunch goes up by $10 per person or more. The greeting cards are also priced higher. The prose in most of them also make men sound like jerks or neglectful: "I know I don't say this often enough,... I know I don't show you how much...., I don't know what I did to deserve ....etc (Clearly these cards were not written by guys!). The holiday is either geared towards men presenting diamonds or some other high priced ticket item or for the creative types to write a poem, song, and cook up a special candlelight dinner. The real trick is trying to come up with something unique every year! There is not much pressure on women.
In fact some men are jerks and the word love never passes their lips let alone influences their behavior. So glad to know you aren't one of them. I'm not sure uniqueness is as important as just making a small gesture-- or create your own tradition.
I guess one has to wonder why a woman would emotionally invest in a jerk or man that never tells her he loves her? By uniqueness, I believe everyone appreciates something different. Doing the same thing each year loses it's impact. :-)
Au fait: It is widely known that men are the real romantics of the species. Women, in general, do little or next to nothing in this department. Many of them think giving sex qualifies for romance or at least it is the easiest thing they can think of.
Au faite,yes but the same also goes for some women as well.
Unequal return.... I have went through many valentines giving and giving and barely getting anything in return. Flowers, candy, and a card. I get a card and a hug. Anything bigger than what I got, and it would still be the same in return. The fact is that it that is usually how it is. One side always gives more than the other. I am in no way saying the person who spends less loves less. I am saying things just don't equal out.
My only complaint with Valentine's day is that the price of flowers--roses and virtually everything else skyrockets in price, and no one says anything. I give my wife flowers some years, other years a gift. She knows I love her, and I try to show that every day, but I have no objection to having a special day for people to celebrate, remember and commemorate the love they have for a special person or persons. Moms can also be included and if you are fortunate, like I am, you may have a mother-in-law who is also a very special person that you would like to remember.
Certainly is buying gifts ^_*
Or maybe stumble word love to get out of their tongues
I don't think so there is something special on Valentine's Day. If you and your love are sincere with each other and living together, then everyday is Valentine's Day. So the answer of your question is, I don't like the situation when it's Valentine's Day and you are too far from your love, even couldn't see each other.
Sorry, but its just a load of commercialised crap. If you fancy someone or love someone just be direct. Buy 'em roses anyway,('he said'-ha).
by Holle Abee 11 years ago
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