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Whats too much?

  1. profile image0
    sneakorocksolidposted 7 years ago

    Taking into consideration that you would like to be a parent someday. What amount of sexual promiscuity is too much? Would you have children with a porn star? Is their any boundries you would consider when picking a spouse to parent with?

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      What is too much? Well, if you live your life by being afraid of what other think, then Yes, this question has relatively much to do with the question posed.

      However, if you're a person who is completely honest with themselves and really doesn't care what others think about them, then No, the question isn't relevant.

      Hoped I helped.

    2. Black Lilly profile image61
      Black Lillyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I don't see the connection between becoming a parent and your sex life.

      "Picking the spouse to parent with" - reminds me of the cattle market. I do not understand the approach at all.

    3. Bovine Currency profile image59
      Bovine Currencyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I married a prostitute, I have sold my own body, boys, girls, both in the same room, whips, chains, cuffs, younger girls, older girls, a couple of grandmas, plenty of mums, list goes on... no joke and yes I know, Its a little strange.  Needless to say, I'll be 27 in a few weeks and I have calmed down now.

  2. profile image0
    sneakorocksolidposted 7 years ago

    No one has boundries. I must be strange if I'm the only one.

    1. profile image0
      lyricsingrayposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Many people have boundaries, and yes some don't but don't say nobody because that includes me and I have very detailed boundaries. geeez

      1. profile image0
        sneakorocksolidposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        I was just lighting the fire, geeez.

  3. mega1 profile image80
    mega1posted 7 years ago

    I've already had my kids, and believe me, their father was no porn star! big_smile big_smile  but seriously, I don't judge people based on their sexual activities - I picked my mate based on the fact I thought he would be a good dad (he was) and had the same general ideas about life I had.  I don't remember worrying about his promiscuity, however I think this is something men agonize over more than women.  am I right?

    1. Stimp profile image76
      Stimpposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yes...

    2. profile image0
      sneakorocksolidposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I agree there's probably more judgement of a womans behavior. I always find sexually agressive females more the exception than the rule. That said we put alot of positive reinforcement on both in our church and encourage abstinence.

      1. Stimp profile image76
        Stimpposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        They encourage abstinence even with your spouse...not mocking...just curious.

        1. profile image0
          sneakorocksolidposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          Youth and singles. We actually encourage a healthy, loving sex life for marrieds. We do believe a woman should submit to a righteous husband and why wouldn't she if he offers loving companionship.

          1. wyanjen profile image80
            wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Oh my.
            Sneako, all respect and more power to you if this type of relationship is a positive one for the both of you.

            Believing a woman should submit is a problem for me. The strongest relationships I have seen personally are the ones where both people are working together equally.

            1. profile image0
              sneakorocksolidposted 7 years agoin reply to this

              You missed one word "righteous". He would never press any percieved advantage and always have his partners feelings and wishes top priority.

              1. wyanjen profile image80
                wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                I have a different meaning when I think of the word righteous. My bad, not yours.
                If I had read your explanation here first, the word "submit" would not have come to mind. What is submitting, to you? The meaning of it I mean.

                1. profile image0
                  sneakorocksolidposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                  Sharing a loving and sexual relationship with your spouse. I am not advocating the abuse of women in any way shape or form.

                  1. wyanjen profile image80
                    wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                    You have a very high moral standard. We'll almost never agree with one another. But you are using the word "share" to define the word "submit". 
                    When you say "submit to a righteous man" that sounds to me like you are expecting a woman to let herself be controlled. But that's not what you describe here.

  4. mega1 profile image80
    mega1posted 7 years ago

    this could all so quickly become another joke session with me - so I will refrain from making comments about 1)abstinence 2)sexually aggresive females vs. ditto males 3)sex in church - and I might have been better off in the long run marrying a porn star - he might have been more open-minded and accepting! big_smile

  5. profile image0
    sneakorocksolidposted 7 years ago

    The question is more who do you want left alone with your children. I feel as a parent you have to allow your children to make well informed decisions and understand the consequences of their actions. If they feel there are none then what will they  teach your children.

    1. Black Lilly profile image61
      Black Lillyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Haven't it ever occurred to you that it's THEIR children too?!

      That's just absurd.

      1. profile image0
        sneakorocksolidposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        Just as absurd as the youth coming out of our gettos and projects. Just remember those were their children too and now their violence often affects the innocent. It is absurd.

        1. Black Lilly profile image61
          Black Lillyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          Perfect, Sneako.
          Doesn't this mean you should re-consider your attitude to abortion issue?
          Or maybe YOU are so perfect that your children would be only prudent citizens? Only YOU are capable of doing that, and leaving this to someTHING like a woman means trouble?

          And that's really disgusting.

          1. profile image0
            sneakorocksolidposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Is it the truth? Do the children from those enviroments have a higher propensity towards crime? I know many great single Moms and feel for their plight but nothing ever changes if we look for reasons not to change.

      2. Dee Dee MonSherie profile image56
        Dee Dee MonSherieposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        Not absurd...in fact, that's the whole point, too many women subject their children to sexually abusive fathers because they didn't take notice of their ulterior motives...too involved with young people for the wrong reasons...prior to getting married and having children with them.

    2. mega1 profile image80
      mega1posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Well, if parenting is the only way children get their attitudes about sex and promiscuity, then why was I much more so than my parents would ever have been.  And, in fact, my own children are much LESS promiscuous than I was.  I never told them, and no one else did either.  How would they know?  Most people aren't in the habit of saying-"look, Jr., just because your mom makes a living doing these porn films (here, watch one!) doesn't mean you can go around being sexually promiscious"  My kids refused to talk to me about sex much - beyond the abc's.  Perhaps social pressures will have more to do with it than parenting, but I really don't know.

  6. wyanjen profile image80
    wyanjenposted 7 years ago

    This may seem like a very silly thing to compare, but when I'm interviewing applicants I really put less weight to their resume than I do to how they handle an interview.

    The character of a person is more important than their past history to me. Now that I am out of a bad marriage, I don't go about dating by asking how many partners a guy has.

    Frankly, I'm a little embarrassed that I married the first man I dated. It turned out badly, but since I was following so-called "rules", I didn't end the marriage. Now I'm too old to start over. My mistake and my regret.

    So what amount is too much? You can't put a firm number on that, and it is only one of several factors to consider when looking for someone.

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hey Jen,

      How are you today?

      Oh, by the way, no you are not too old to start over. You are never too old to find a love that would satisfy you for the remainder of your life. So, please learn from your mistakes and let go of regret(it will only do damage).

      You're a bright and intelligent woman, who seems to be caring, so please try to have a better outlook. big_smile tongue lol cool

      1. wyanjen profile image80
        wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        Good morning. (I just rolled out of bed, long weekend driving.) smile

        Well, my outlook is shattered because it is too late for me to get what I want again. I had it and lost it. I'm 40 with a medical condition, odds are so slim I may have a another child now that I don't let myself hope. I'm trying right now to find something else to work toward.

        I'm not-dating a guy right now and we're having a good time. That's good enough right now.
        I don't know how many women he's been with, and he doesn't know about me. We are simply enjoying each other's company.
        Sorry if you are cringing about that sneako lol

    2. profile image0
      Denno66posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      You're never too old to start over.

  7. Himitsu Shugisha profile image80
    Himitsu Shugishaposted 7 years ago

    I think this is a great question, because maybe men more than women have a number in their head that they consider to be a quote en quote "acceptable" number of partners for their girlfriend or future wife. I'm not afraid to say that my number is 5 or fewer, but if I fall in love with a woman that has been partying like a "rock star", as long as she has enough energy left for me, so be it.

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      And, just curious- What's the limit you put on yourself? Since, you're limiting your girlfriends to (5), What about yourself?

      Are you saying it is alright for you to have 10, per se, versus the Woman having only 5?

      If so....what's that say about you? A lot actually. But, I'm just pointing out the obvious, so make nothing of it.

      1. Himitsu Shugisha profile image80
        Himitsu Shugishaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        I appreciate your attempt at interpretation, but you're absolutely wrong in every assumption you made. But, I'll play your game. I hold myself to the same high standard. I can't ask my future love to be something that I'm not willing to be. And what's that say about me? I don't know, maybe it says I have standards.  In all sincerity, I don't choose my lovers based on the past or numbers; if they're with me my focus should be on keeping them with me.

        1. Cagsil profile image61
          Cagsilposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          Excuse you? I didn't make any assumptions. I went by what you SAID. Therefore...nice try.

          1. Himitsu Shugisha profile image80
            Himitsu Shugishaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Okay, you're right. Thanks!! smile

  8. mega1 profile image80
    mega1posted 7 years ago

    sneako: do you really believe women should "submit" to men in their relationships?  expound on that, please  - it sounds terrible to me - "submit" ????

    1. profile image0
      sneakorocksolidposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      You miss the premiss "a righteous man", that means a loving caring husband. No woman should fear of being used because a "righteous man" would never take advantage. A woman should and would submit to a man who is sensitive and loving.

  9. Black Lilly profile image61
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    Sneako, just read what you wrote in this thread yourself.

    Plus, compare this with your writings about abortions (another thread).

    1. profile image0
      sneakorocksolidposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Anytime I refer to sexual activity I'm referring to marraige.

  10. profile image0
    Denno66posted 7 years ago

    Submit, hmmm, tricky word there.....

    1. wyanjen profile image80
      wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, my mind goes to a much darker place...
      But that is a different forum. There may be a TOS issue.

      1. profile image0
        Denno66posted 7 years agoin reply to this

        Well, it could be an interesting thread.

        1. wyanjen profile image80
          wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          I'm really aware all the sudden that I have to click the word SUBMIT every time I talk to you.

          1. profile image0
            Denno66posted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Now, isn't that just a funny coinkydink? lol

            1. profile image0
              lyricsingrayposted 7 years agoin reply to this

              lol

    2. profile image0
      sneakorocksolidposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      If she is married and he does his part to care for and protect I doubt submit isn't even a thought.

  11. Bovine Currency profile image59
    Bovine Currencyposted 7 years ago

    No children that I know of...  Too much trouble if you ask me.  I like kids but only if I can give them back tongue

  12. Bovine Currency profile image59
    Bovine Currencyposted 7 years ago

    5 girlfriends?  Cmon?  Too serious.  I went the other way, too far perhaps but why fret so much about sex.  Anyway, whatever works for the individual I suppose.

  13. Black Lilly profile image61
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    big_smile big_smile big_smile

    As I can see, "Sheep & Co." is back...I'm awaiting fun big_smile

  14. profile image0
    Denno66posted 7 years ago

    It has coffee in it; that's the important question, yes?

    1. Bovine Currency profile image59
      Bovine Currencyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Precisely... And I didn't make it.  I was in bed recharging for round 2

    2. wyanjen profile image80
      wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      It is the ONLY question.

      And the answer is, yes.

      1. profile image0
        Denno66posted 7 years agoin reply to this

        I like your handle, btw big_smile

        1. Bovine Currency profile image59
          Bovine Currencyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          Nice rim! tongue

          1. wyanjen profile image80
            wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            lol
            Thanks (slyly eyeing the camera, doing a seductive mug pose)

            You'll notice my handle points left.

            1. Bovine Currency profile image59
              Bovine Currencyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

              I love the angle baby, just like that!

  15. WriteAngled profile image84
    WriteAngledposted 7 years ago

    I'd rather leave children with a porn star than with a paedophile.

  16. Bovine Currency profile image59
    Bovine Currencyposted 7 years ago

    Check out my horns wink

    1. wyanjen profile image80
      wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Men who wear earrings are pretty hot.

      1. Bovine Currency profile image59
        Bovine Currencyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        I got plenty in my closet sweetie...  No camp tho, i got that out.  Some real dirty outfits... Maybe you could put on a maids outfit and do my washing?

  17. mega1 profile image80
    mega1posted 7 years ago

    Break it up! Break it up! Sorry,I just have to go back to the thread here - Sneako: I am sure you have nothing but the best intentions when you are describing a man/woman marriage relationship (per your church, of course) but judging by the way you describe what the male role is and what the female role should be - well, I just cringe.  It sounds to me kinda chauvinistic and not at all the equal roles people in my generation have been struggling and shouting for!  I, personally, don't care what any church says, I WANT EQUALITY and that means, I'll take care of myself, you take care of yourself, and then we have this other thing - "the marriage" and we both take care of it.  We care for each other EQUALLY within the marriage.   What we did before the marriage shouldn't have much to do with it, unless we're really scurvy types to begin with.  So, please leave your one-sided "righteous man" out of it and please understand that most women will HATE the word SUBMIT (unless its for posting) 

    I say this with LOVE! big_smile

    1. Bovine Currency profile image59
      Bovine Currencyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Not being funny @mega1 but within the church, I dare say this control/trust (?) issue is probably the done thing IN THE CHURCH??  Who knows?  For me, it should be about trust, not control, not at all.  Even if you are married, it might not work out, many don't but if you don't try then what's the point.  If its too much like a business arrangement, I mean in a contractual , this is your bit this is mine kinda thing, nah... I think that is selling the marriage short.  Just my thoughts... I am not a churchie and very liberal with relationships.

    2. profile image0
      sneakorocksolidposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Well you missed completely, sorry. I live a nontraditional marraige, my wife makes way more money than I do and I assume more of the domestic chores. I own my buisness and my hours are more flexible. I always refer to a married man that shares in all the responsibilities and is responsible and loving. I'm sorry you haven't met one when you do you'll know what I mean.

  18. Bovine Currency profile image59
    Bovine Currencyposted 7 years ago

    ... also a cynic sometimes so not giving advice just getting into the conversation

  19. mega1 profile image80
    mega1posted 7 years ago

    SNEAKO SAID:Well you missed completely, sorry. I live a nontraditional marraige, my wife makes way more money than I do and I assume more of the domestic chores. I own my buisness and my hours are more flexible. I always refer to a married man that shares in all the responsibilities and is responsible and loving. I'm sorry you haven't met one when you do you'll know what I mean.


    BUT I SAY:  You assume too much and are misinterpreting my words!  I have met plenty of men who are responsible and loving and unthreatened by women.  I bet you are one of them, its just that words are getting in the way.  I really don't see marriage as a kind of business relationship where people dole out chores to each other.  The marriage to me is a sacred trust for each other.  "submit unto one another" says it well, but I still don't like the word "submit" - that's all.  I may have chewed this subject to death.   But DON'T assume crap like that "I'm sorry you haven't met - - - ! You don't know who I've met and know - lalalalala smile  I was just trying to find out what your words really meant! OK?

    1. profile image0
      sneakorocksolidposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      That's perfect! I wasn't trying to assume anything, we share it all good and bad, hard and easy. We've done it for 34yrs and will continue the same. I have submitted many times to sit outside a changing room and be honest and supportive.smile

  20. wyanjen profile image80
    wyanjenposted 7 years ago

    Yeah, we're all having a problem with the "s" word here.

  21. mega1 profile image80
    mega1posted 7 years ago

    Well, you're ok, Sneako.  I knew it.  I just knew it.  And your wifey is damn lucky, too! lol

  22. Dee Dee MonSherie profile image56
    Dee Dee MonSherieposted 7 years ago

    Maybe because there are so many shades of the word Submit...it's supposed to be one relinquishing his/or her "self" for the preferences of another, done in love, as the example given by Sneaky...but some see how submission can be brutalized...outside of a love relationship...it can be perverted into abusive bullying...not cool.

  23. mega1 profile image80
    mega1posted 7 years ago

    Oh, well, OUTSIDE THE MARRIAGE - sure an there's no better night of fun than the ol' dominance & submission game! Complete with costumes, of course!  Well, heck, maybe even INSIDE the marriage.

 
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