Is it okay for me to be against gay marriage?

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   kellysgirlposted 10 years ago

   Is it okay for me to be against gay marriage?
   
   As a Christian woman I do not believe in gay marriage. Period. But aside from that, why are people being openly penalized for expressing their opinions about this issue? It seems to me that anybody who's against gay marriage is somehow a societal heretic. I don't understand that nor do I agree. We are ALL entitled to our own opinions and my opinions should have no bearing on how you decide to live your life. I may not believe in gay marriage, but I don't judge. That is between you and your creator. Be happy with the decisions you make in your life, but please don't force me to ascribe to them.

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   Moms-Secretposted 10 years ago

   I think it has less to do with people having their own opinions and more to do with the urge to share those opinions with the world with out having been asked.  In this answer, I am choosing to keep my opinions on this matter to myself.  We are given our own judgement and our own ability to make our own decisions.  I think where many go wrong is that they insist on imposing that judgement and those decisions on others.  They advertise their views and beliefs which implies that the intention is you either want to meet someone to debate your view or you want to find commonalities and have people side with your view.  In my life, my views and beliefs belong to me and I base my decisions on them but the decisions of others do not belong to me and are not to be judged by them.
   
   Even this question invites a debate or a supporter.  You never asked permission to have the belief system you have so why is it important to know what others think is okay?

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      kellysgirlposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I don't need to ask permssion to own my belief system. However, as a writer and as an educator, I am charged with percipitating critical thinking. I want to know what others think. My belief system wont waiver based on a debate.

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      Moms-Secretposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I would like to see educators charged with channelling young minds to think of how they could improve the marriage that they believe in whether it be gay or straight. At least that is for the greater good and not just passing judgement over others.

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   duffsmomposted 10 years ago

   I agree. There are several issues out there in the world today what are very sensitive. If people go against what the popular opinion is, they tend to be demonized.
   
   In other words, people seem to be saying, "yes, you are entitled to your own opinion as long as it is in line with mine." 
   
   Yes, you are entitled to your opinion - I still believe that, and if it doesn't coincide with my opinion, I still support your right to that opinion.  Well said kellysgirl.

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      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I don't think people are as concerned about other people's "opinions" as long as it does not effect their (personal) freedom or choices. Laws are stronger than opinions. It's the law a lot of people want to change not their opinion.

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      kellysgirlposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      @dashing I wish that were true. But people's opinions are being 'demonized' even when those opinions don't effect personal freedoms. Look at all these celebrities who have to apologize for their beliefs or opinions about the gay community.

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      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      kellygirl, It's the same thing with abortion laws. People who are "pro-choice" are called "baby killers" or demonized by the "pro-life" people. There was a time interracial dating/marriage was illegal. Some people still dislike it privately.

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      jonnycomelatelyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      And yet, when I can open up my own opinion freely and be ready to change my opinion in the light of new information, if I so wish, surely that can be positive in its effect?

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   junksellerposted 10 years ago

   Woman are stupid and should do nothing but make babies. Don't hate me, it's just my belief system, and I'm not judging...
   
   It's very likely you'll deny these are equivalents, but on what grounds? You're right and I'm not? Hopefully you can see the futility in that. Perhaps we'd all be better off if instead of clinging to our own beliefs, we spent far more attention to how those beliefs make others feel. And perhaps more importantly how when we advocate for everyone to fully and equally participate in life, we are all better off (such as having more women participating in the workforce).
   
   Also a lot of the opposition to opponents of gay marriage isn't their feelings, it's their actions. If it was just about feelings it probably wouldn't matter, but many of those opponents are actively working to deny same-sex couples the ability to marry. Those are different things.

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      Moms-Secretposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I couldn't agree more!  The same belief, not advertised and used only in their private lives would not get the negative attention that it gets when its spread. I believe in defending greater good and stopping bad but personal choices are nobody's biz

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      kellysgirlposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      How my personal beliefs make you feel, is not my concern. I can't process that logic. People are entitled to their own belief systems. Now, when those beliefs infringe upon my right to live my own life, then there's a problem.

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   jaydawg808posted 10 years ago

   People are entitled to their own beliefs and opinions...it's what makes us unique and different from each other.

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      kellysgirlposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      It's unfortunate that all people don't ascribe to this belief.

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      Moms-Secretposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I do agree with you. It is when that entitlement causes people to boycott laws and picket businesses that deal exclusively in the matters dealing with choices that affect an individual or family unit and not the rest of society that its an issue.

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   lburmasterposted 10 years ago

   You can do whatever you want. It's your opinion and your belief.

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   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   It doesn't matter if someone is for (marriage equality) or not. In the end you should be entitled to live (your) life on (your) terms. What upsets a lot of people is when (others) want to control (their) life.
   I am a heterosexual male and therefore I am against gay marriage for (myself). However I could care less what another person chooses to do with (their) life. I subscribe to the "live and let live" philosophy. :-)

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      Moms-Secretposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Well said.

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      kellysgirlposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Dash, I totally agree. Live your life on your own terms. Again, when I express my opinion don't start preparing my tomb. Appreciate that I don't agree and move on.

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      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      kellysgirl, I think it helps NOT to care what other people think about your opinions. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree and move on. To each his own. It doesn't matter to me who someone else loves or marry. That's none of my business!

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      kellysgirlposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Actually I don't care about what people think about my opinions. I posted the question to spark engagement in an individual's right to believe whatever they choose and not be damned to hell for expressing the same. That's all I'm saying.

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   jlparkposted 10 years ago

   Yes, it's perfectly alright for you to be against gay marriage.  Surprised that this is coming from a gay woman, who is hoping to be able to legally marry her same-sex partner? I hope not - I do try to be civil!
   
   But what is NOT alright is for one person/religions dislike, disapproval, and opinion to force others to adhere to their opinion. Much like you wish that "Please don't force me to ascribe to them." re gay marriage..why should we, as gay people, be forced to ascribe to the decisions others have made in their lives, religion-wise?
   
   What the problem usually is, is that when people are against it, they seem to wish that EVERY ONE should think the same, and that people should be denied rights MERELY because they do not agree with it, and that 'hey look, neither does MY God, so therefore it should be made illegal" - regardless that not everyone agrees, that not everyone believes the same as they do, and that particularly in the US the Constitution  means that religion cannot rule on laws for the country.
   
   THEN, you get the people who are downright offensive about it - sure, you can disagree on it, and be perfectly civil - and I completely respect that, and your opinion.  But, a number of people descend into name-calling, likening homosexuality to crimes such as paedophillia, beastiality, and just today - murder.  (oh and in a hub I just read - sociopaths...).  This is designed to offend, and is blantantly ignorant - as none of these has anything to do with homosexuality.
   That is when it causes an issue. Fear mongering just to get a leg up in the arguement (say in the media, with all the politicking going on with the Supreme Court etc) is the actions of the weak.
   
   So, disagreeing is fine, you are completely entitled to that, and you shouldn't be disrespected because of it.  If you were trying to make us all share your opinion - then you should be held responsible for the responses you receive....because forcing opinions onto others is rude, and downright bad mannered....which you, my friend, are not!
   Thanks for question...sorry about the LONG answer!

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      kellysgirlposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      THANK YOU JI. That is truly ALL that I am saying. Don't think I'm judging you because I disagree with you. Live your life, but don't expect me to support those decisions. I honestly appreciate your response, and thank you for the long answer.

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      jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Kellysgirl - exactly. I'm sure that Christians think I am judging them because I'm gay, and I disagree with them.  I'm not.  If we can respectfully disagree then all is well!.

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   jonnycomelatelyposted 10 years ago

   kellysgirl, can I just offer another way of looking at this?
   
   If you were a mother, with a son or daughter who was gay, and you found yourself in a dilemma:   for example, "How can I accept my child's path in life, in view of my feelings against gay marriage?
   
   I reckon that in your desire to do the best for your child, to help him or her the best you could in life, you might be willing to say, "I will keep my opinion, but not allow it to interfere with the bigger picture in my child's life.   I will support him/her no matter what happens."
   
   By doing that you will have kept your self-respect without compromising your beliefs.   Yet you will have opened the door to respect and love from your child at the same time.   In due course, you will have gained an unexpected group of friends who more than likely will enrich your life beyond what you had imagined.

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      kellysgirlposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      @jonny  I would never stop loving my children, regardless of their life choices. But this isn't about self-respect, it's about people being allowed to express their views and/or beliefs without being demonized for doing so.

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    Joan Kingposted 10 years ago

    The gay marriage is the issue of the day. I wonder if we will even remember it in 10 years. We all have the right to be for and against certain things provided we do not use our feelings to deny others their rights. The words of the bible have, unfortunately been used to justify anything from slavery to child abuse and I am sure this was not the intention of the bible.  Do Christians live by, and faithfully adhere to each and every commandment, rule, and law  of the bible? There are two christian laws that supersede  all others  "Love the lord and love thy neighbor as thyself" Every other Christan law, rule, edict, saying belief,  is subject to this law.

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