Why is it easier to be totally open with strangers and not your own family?

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   kikibruceposted 11 years ago

   Why is it easier to be totally open with strangers and not your own family?
   
   I am comfortable around strangers but hide things from family because they don't see me in the same light.

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   Bhawna Dixitposted 11 years ago

   Family knows everything about you. They have some sort of perception about you. If we have done some blunders  in life there is big scope that  their perception does not change. Nobody wants to get judged. While with strangers it is easy to say anything because they don't know about your past. In deep inside we all know that we can go from one stranger to another. But we can't find another family. Family will always be part of our life. Nobody wants to take risk of losing their family.

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      kikibruceposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I definitely have blunders I have been judged for. My  the story I wrote about falling off a cliff is the perfect example. I recently had a night out at a concert with strangers and we were all singing together. But my family is always there. Thanks!

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   HattieMattieMaeposted 11 years ago

   Family tends to always seen the negative side of things in your life. Depending on what kind of family you have, they don't always support you emotionally, spiritually, or physically. They tend to want you to be who they want you to be, and not who you are. Where strangers accept you for who you are, and like Bhawna said, they don't judge you, criticize, constantly nag and abuse you in some situations. If you have a healthy family, you might experience positive things. Family is some times to close for comfort, and in your business all the time, interfering in you life choices. They may be negative or positive experiences. I also have to agree with Bhawna what she says.

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      kikibruceposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You hit the nail on the head completely when I come to my family. Especially now since I am currently living back at home and sometimes feel under a microscope.  I volunteer and get out of the house and try to meet new people very often. Thanks!

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   Poetic Foolposted 11 years ago

   I think part of it is that the total stranger is likely to remain just that, a total stranger.  As such, it is easier to be totally open with them because there will be no consequences of being honest with them.  You know you are unlikely to ever see them again, you know they know nothing else about you thus you are more willing to be open.  Just my two cents worth anyway.

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      kikibruceposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your comment. That is probably the key.

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   nlclarkposted 11 years ago

   Family members love you.  They care about you, and will do anything to protect you or help you if you are in need.  This is all good, and a very positive thing in our lives.  The down-side to it, is that, in doing so, they some times give advice when we don't want it, or help, when we want to work it out on our own.  They also tend to criticize our actions because if we would have done things differently, this or that wouldn't have happened.
   
   Sometimes we just need to vent, or get something off of our chest.  It doesn't mean we are looking for a solution.  Sometimes we need a fresh outlook, or point of view on something without being expected to agree.  Sometimes we need to talk about a concern, and know we won't cause worry for the person on the receiving end.
   
   A stranger may or may not give you advise.  You may take it or leave it, and neither one of you cares.  Most likely, the stranger is not going to jump in and help you, but something they say or do, may shed new light and enable you to cope or deal with something more positively or effectively on your own.  The stranger may criticize you or may not.  Criticism from a stranger is sometimes more useful because there is no love or need for acceptance associated with it.  You can say just about anything about your life to that stranger, and they are not going to go home and worry about you, wonder how you are doing, or lose any sleep over it, and you can walk away not wondering if you've caused anyone grief, concern, or insomnia.  Don't feel guilty about that.  Sometimes we need a close family member, and sometimes we need space and distance.

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      kikibruceposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I agree. Fortunately I have best friends I can vent to, and with strangers it's more about being superficial and having fun, maybe sharing a story or two. Sometimes family can be intrusive, but I know they love me in their way, crazy or not.

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