Starting your own family when you are young yourself.

1. 58

   skylerdeanposted 15 years ago

   It maybe really hard starting your own family when you are you, but one day you can look back and be proud of yourself.
   
     I am only nineteen, and my family doesn't really respect me. My son was born premature in October. I love him to death. I believe that he is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Now that I have my son, he comes before everything and everybody.
   
     Some people will tell you that you don't deserve your kids or that they hope Human Sevices will take them or even that you won't be a good parent. The thing to remember is that nobody is perfect. Especially us young and new parents. The thing that helps me the most is knowing that even if I don't have them around me that I do have my son and that he loves me.
   
     It is hard being young and in-experienced. It is even scary. I have come along way in just this past month. My family has turned their backs on me, but I do have one friend that has stuck by my side through everything that I have ever been through and now when I need her the most she is still here to help me and give me advice.
   
     A lot has happened, but instead of thinking about the bad, I dream about how much fun that I am going to have when my son gets discharged from the children's hospital. I can't wait until my son is older and is walking, tearing things up.
   
     It maybe hard on us now, but one day, everything will be better. When it is, it will be because we have stuck in here and tried our best. Things always happen for a reason.

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      Lady_Eposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Congrats on the birth of your son.
      
      I'm glad you have a friend who I'm sure is like family to you.
      Stay strong - I know it's easier said than done. Some day, this hard time will all be over and you'll be so happy. You would also be able to use the experience to help other young people.
      
      19 isn't too young to have a baby, but it's an age where you need a lot of support/friends/family around you.
      
      So, stay close to your friends for now and hopefully your family will have a change of mind.
      
      Best Wishes 

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2. 75

   thranaxposted 15 years ago

   Well, make sure you get a great job because it isn't cheap. Also just start reading books now on how to do things. The way our society works is we learn from older people and then advance that information further in our own lifespan. Don't worry about what others say or think, you can do it if you try and work hard.
   
   ~thranax~

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3. 64

   Lisa HWposted 15 years ago

   skylerdean, I don't know if your screen name suggests you're a father or the baby's mother; but I don't think it matters when it comes to this thread.
   
   Congratulations on your new baby.    (My son was a premie who had to stay in the hospital for a few weeks too.  He just turned 28 the other day.    ).  I'm honestly not trying to "just get readers", but I started a blog for mothers (parents) of premies, and it has links to resources/information related to premies.  Also, though, I wanted to add my own personal thoughts/reactions to having a premie, and to tell a happy story related to it, because I wanted to offer something personal to parents who have premies today.   I don't know if it would be useful to you, but it can be found through my profile.
   
   Also (and I don't want to seem like yet one more older parent who has advice for a younger one), I once ran into a writing title on Helium that was something like, "Can teen parents be good parents, and what do you think they need to know."  I've known lots of people who became parents in their teens and who have been good parents, so I was "inspired" to write some thoughts on it.  At the same time, I've seen "tons" of teen parents who sometimes really don't seem to know what they're doing with the baby.  As a result, their babies can seem frazzled and fussy.  As someone else suggested, it's always a good idea for any parent to read up on child development and parenting in books and online and written by reputable, well known, experts on child care, child development, and parenting. 
   
   As for the thing I mentioned writing myself, it isn't an "article".  It's just thoughts written from the perspective of one individual who believes teen parents can be excellent parents but sometimes need a little more information about babies than they have.  Again, I'm not trying to "just get readers".  I thought, though, you may be interested in reading it.  I didn't write for any reason other than being "inspired" to try to write something that could possibly be useful to young parents.  That one can be found on my Facebook page (there's a picture of flowers with faces next to it).
   
   Again, I'm not trying to promote my writing.  Your thread looked like you want to have a discussion about something that is an issue in your life right now, and the premie site and "thoughts" on young parents are pretty much "discussion" or "sharing", rather than advice.  Contratulations again your new baby.  (By the way, I don't really think people "hope" you'll fail as a parent.  I think, maybe, they just worry that you may.  It doesn't say much for their faith in you, but that's a subject for another day.  )

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4. 56

   Gracious Octoberposted 15 years ago

   I was 19 when i helped usher my beautiful first born into this mean world. It is not easy. You are still growing up and trying to grow up yourself and sort everything out which is very difficult to do when you don't have alot of positive support influence and encouragement. since i gave birth i have been very passionate about other young women in my postion and trying to offer as much support as i can. check out my page there is an article you might like on it. keep your head up and as much fight as you get it heps to understand that it is alright to be imperfect because there is no possible way you can always make the right decision. every single decision you make will have two sides to it and you've got to make the one that is best for you and your family and be confident about it. succeed alright? don't just succeed thrive to do more than survive. blessings.

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5. 60

   nigelkingposted 15 years ago

   I have been a Dad since I was 16. Today I have seven kids with an age range that allows me to put one to bed and have another take me for a pint. I would not change a thing. See my hub entitled Free Wisdom for offspring.

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6. 59

   sameerkposted 15 years ago

   Good one

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7. 61

   tobey100posted 15 years ago

   You sound like your doing the right thing.  I was also a very young father and now have 5 boys.  Sure it was tough many times but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.  My own parents always scolded claiming I didn't need anymore kids but, seems I got 'em anyway.  Congrats on your son!

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