Is jealousy a sign of bad character?
Let's say something really good came your way, i.e. you were able to buy a new car, got a better job, nicer place to live, a nice significant other, etc. etc. and someone got jealous and weren't happy for you, is this a sign of bad character? Is this someone you would avoid? It could be either someone close or an "acquaintance". It could be either male or female although females tend to be more jealous, however I've seen a few males like that too.
I don't think it necessarily makes that person a horrible person, but I guess it would depend on how they acted from then on. If they tried to ruin things, I think that is definitely bad character. But I wouldn't blame them too much if I suddenly had something extravagant or something that is human nature to desire. In other words, I wouldn't fault them too much for having those feelings, but it all depends on how they act on those feelings.
Its not a sign of bad character at all. Its a sign that the person that you are dealing with is indeed not a robot. (or alien zombie). The fact is everyone gets jealous. The only difference is the levels. You want to avoid people that take it hard.
For instance, three people go for a job... lets say you are one of the three. You of course get the job...lets say you have less experience though. So..one person says I cant believe this throws a huge tantrum storms off whining. Avoid that one. The other person is not horrible upset but is still "jealous" telling his friends how much they wanted it. DO NOT avoid that person.
Everyone gets jealous. Everyone. In some way, shape, or form.
I, agree with SoundNFury that it depends on how they act towards you like cursing,gossipping, ignore you this might be a bad character I guess. Our neighbor envy my husband in some sort off to the extend we got noticed (rather not to say) but still my husband talk to them nicely and apologize if we did something wrong. My husband know's he was being nice he wanted them to feel bad after what they did to my husband. If somebody throw a stone throw back a bread, for they will eat their pride.
It's natural, even for friends, to be envious of your good fortune. However, if they are your friends they should still manage to be happy for you. I'm not sure I agree that females are more jealous.
I think that it can certainly be a red flag, even more so when the person who is jealous is close to you and acts in a negative way towards you. Sane people don't need or want these behaviors in their lives. Depending on what they are doing or saying, if there are any attempts to bring/put me down or lessen my achievements I may eventually cut them off. I am also a lady and when you say women tend to be more jealous you are unfortunately very correct. Often, it seems like all you have to do is breathe or turn heads and some get really nutty towards you whether overtly or covertly. I've also learned that there are men that also act this way.
I agree it's a red flag if there is negative behavior towards the good news. Also I am not trying to put women down but it's been my observations over the years. If men act that way (and some do) they are to be avoided as well. Thanks for commenting.
Not necessarily. Relationship jealousy IS a sign of insecurity, mistrust, and an excessive need for control, whether "justified" by the past or not.
Jealousy of other's possessions or successes also has deeper meaning than the surface and cannot be given just pause by the mere label of bad character. Some peopple have had it very very hard and may indeed sometimes envy the easier lives of others. Even those with *plenty* can be jealous of another's things, achievements or lives, and although this looks absolutely ugly, it is simply an unattractively express of a need or a want (triggered by a deeper need - even if this need is some humility).
In eigher case, unaddressed jealousy is unhealthy, and can become volatile.
I would tend to avoid someone who couldn't feel happy for me if I was doing well or able to enjoy a new car. In particular, I would avoid romantic relationships that involve a jealous partner. No good can come of that. You will never convince them you love them enough, care enough, are faithful enough - because that insecurity comes from within the person and you cannot fix it.
Hi Efficient Admin:
First, let's clarify terms. What you are calling jealousy would have been called envy up until 20 years ago, when the terms got confused.
When person A doesn't have, and person B has, and person A wants what person B has, that's envy for person A - what you're talking about.
When person A has person B and is possessive of him or her (as in, "hands off my boyfriend"), that's jealousy.
When person A doesn't have, and wants to make sure that no one else (not person B or C or anyone) doesn't get, that's sour grapes (from the Aesop's fable) or, in German, schadenfreude.
All three, as moments of feeling, are natural. All three, as habits, or if they persist, are signs, I would say, perhaps not of bad character, but of weak character.
A person who can transform or let go of such feelings and feel genuine gladness at the good fortune of another has excellent character, and is a rare gift. The term for that quality in Buddhism is mudita, and it means shared joy, or appreciation of joy.
Yes it is a sign of bad, or at least weak, character I would cut or reduce any ties with them.
I would consider your example to be one of "envy" and not jealousy.
Although the two words are very close in meaning (envy) has more of a tone of bitterness, resentment, or spite attached the feeling. These feelings usually arise when someone feels they are in "competition" with another person.
Jealousy on the other hand is often when someone actually already has something but is (insecure). They feel others are out to betray them or someone they admire is treating another person better than how they treat them. This could entail gifts given, time spent, and for some people smiling and laughing together.
Jealous people are usually angry at (a person). Envious people are usually angry/bitter about (an outcome) of circumstances or events. Two people enter a raffle for trip to Hawaii and one wins. The loser is not so much jealous or angry at the winner. They're angry with the outcome.
Whether someone is jealous or envious of you the odds are they don't (like) you either way. True loving/caring friends would be happy with for you!
Either way I would avoid these people if possible and if I could not I would make sure I didn't "talk up" my good fortunes around them.
I don't think it's a sign of bad character. When I see friends getting engaged, married, pregnant, new job, etc. I am truly happy for them, but also envious. I guess if someone is truly envious and not happy for the other person at all, then I imagine they're not very happy with their own lives. Sometimes seeing a friend succeed can just remind you of the ways you're unhappy with your own life. I wouldn't be mad at that person, I'd just feel sorry that they are having a hard time personally,
Jealousy in my opinion is a sign of weakness, I would avoid those kind of people but depending on how friendly they still are to me. It is difficult to cope with such people. If you spend more time with the jealous kind of people whatever you achieve can make them see you differently.
It is actually quite common in my experience. Jealousy is like a naked sword, it stabs you and it stabs others. We all experience it to a greater or lesser extent. It is a part of the process of growth and with regular practice of prayer and meditation, one can learn to see it coming. With a little more practice accompanied by selfless service, one can learn to keep it in check.
Negative qualities can be diminished but they do not entirely disappear until we are one with the Source, our true Self. So let us say that with jealousy there are various levels. Still, a negligible obstacle is still an obstacle, and ceaseless and interior prayer is necessary to transform same.
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