When dating, who should pay for the cost?
Men, women or both?
I think it is the duty of men. But if women can afford, she can share a little bit; or else the men will say Love is Too Costly!
Well firstly you need to keep in mind a "DATE" is about the dynamics between a man and a woman, based on FEMININE and MASCULINE energies, it's NOT about equality, or proving you're equal. It is also NOT about making a man and woman not have any differences on a date. Men and women need to compliment each other, IF a woman acts out the masculine roles, it's like dating a man in a skirt. And I've heard that expression many times from men. ROMANCE is not about work equality, dating has to have the opposite in masculine and feminine energies. The whole point of a date is to be a MAN and a WOMAN together, to create an air of some differences between the genders, not bring the "equality role into it"
There is absolutely nothing worse for creating that masculine and feminine connection when at the end of a date, the bill is checked for who paid what, and both put their hands in their wallet to sort out the share of the bill - how romantic and sexy is that! The trouble with women in the 21st century they have chased after equality in the workplace, but also brought it into the romantic arena, and it does not provide the right elements on a date when a woman wants to prove she can pay her share - of course she pay her share, it's not an insult to be nurtured, to be bought dinner, have a door opened, it's a recognition she is the opposite to the man where he compliments that. That is what MAN is programmed to do, to hunt, protect, and nurture if he's allowed. Any woman who wants to walk to the bar buy drinks, or count out half of the bill on a first or second date ( not once in a relationship) is demonstrating very masculine energies, as though she forgets the situation she's actually in - which is not the boardroom! The more opposite a man and a woman are when it comes to romance the better. There are other ways to chip in -invite him to a film, may be dinner at some other point, but never share out a bill IF you want to keep a romantic relationship!
You made some excellent points! However if it is the woman who (asks) a man out to lunch or whatever she should in my opinion be prepared to pay. Naturally some women believe they should always be "passive" and therefore they never ask a man out.
It has nothing to do with courtesy, passive or active. Nor IF you go out with a partner a female should not pay. This is aimed at EARLY "DATING" and building new romantic foundations. Splitting bills, regardless who asks is a KILLER for romance!
No woman should ask a man out and (expect) HIM to pay for (her) suggestion! Traditionally women were (passive) they waited to be asked out. Asking a man to take you out with the intention of him paying is the same as a child asking their parents.
We're moving away from the topic here. No one is suggesting IF a woman asks a man out she shouldn't pay for dinner. Nor is this about LTR, sharing etc. It's just about the initial dates of a simple drink or two, and a good way of creating romance!
JRohdesHarvey, The question is: "When dating, who should pay for the cost?" We haven't gone off topic unless (you assume) it is (always the man) who asks the woman out. My answer of (whoever asks pays) makes no assumption regarding gender.
I'm old-fashioned. I've always believed if a gentlemen caller invited me out on a date, then he should pay. I rarely have ever asked a man out before. I've always been the one asked out. But in the case of my husband, when I ask him to go have a bite to eat with me, I pay (and vice versa). I like to treat him the way I like to be treated. Pampering him, I feel, is a good way to show him I appreciate how hard he works for me and our family.
When I was dating someone years ago, the first date he paid. The second date, after eating our meals at the restaurant HE recommended, he asked me to pay for 1/2 of the bill. I paid 1/2. It just turned me off that he invited me out and then asked for 1/2 of the bill after the fact.
I think it comes down to courtesy.
Whomever extended the invitation should be prepared to pay the check regardless of their gender!
Generally speaking men ask women out the majority of the time and end up paying. However in long-term relationships, living together, or married oftentimes a "suggestion" of going out leads to the couple going out. It's not uncommon for them to take turns paying or if they have joint accounts it's all coming from the same pot.
I agree with the responses that say whoever does the inviting should pay. While the guy seems to be the one who usually asks for the date, I always offer to pay every other time. I think relationships should be a 50/50 deal in every aspect so that includes paying for a night out.
The man should pay. He's the one who is supposed to be doing all the work in the beginning of a relationship. He has to win the woman over.
"He's the one who is supposed to be doing all the work in the beginning of a relationship." Sounds a little outdated to me. I think whoever asks someone to go out should pay and no (one person) should do (all the work) if the interest is mutual. :-)
I think both depending if it was a mutual decision to go dating.I personally do not feel comfortable not paying when I dated. I prefer to pay even though the person I am going out on a date insists on paying and being a gentleman about it. I know this sounds strange especially if a man is trying his hardest to impress. I feel I am being bought when a man pays for a dinner date.If I pay, I feel like I am an equal ground and not obligated to stick around or see him again had the date went wrong.
Thank you for the responses. Courtesy is always nice and the agreement of course. There are silent agreements and we can get the cue from it.
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