If a woman offers to pay half or all on a "first date" when the man asked her ou

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   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   If a woman offers to pay half or all on a "first date" when the man asked her out is it a sign?
   
   Does it (usually) mean she has no "romantic interest" in him? Are there any ladies who have ever offered to pay half or all for a "first date" because you wanted to remove the "dating aspect" from the equation?
   
   

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   TheBizWhizposted 9 years ago

   If a woman offers to pay for half, that would throw up some red flags, but I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet.
   
   Now, if the woman offers to pay for all, I would actually think that she REALLY likes me!

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Too funny! I guess you won't know if she REALLY likes you until she agrees to go out on a "second date".

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      ChristinSposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I'm so curious to know why a woman paying half sends up red flags? It's so interesting because I just don't think that way I guess. Perhaps I'm strange...

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Christin S, it's probably related to your other comment: Her paying half is her way of "Keeping a bit of distance."
      Men view distance as a chilly reception or she doesn't feel relaxed,  maybe not "into him" from a romantic standpoint.

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      realtalk247posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      LOL.
      dashingscorpio that's so true

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      TheBizWhizposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Christin, I am from the South, so it is not common here for the woman to offer to pay. Some even stay in the car until the man opens the door for them. We spoil our ladies!

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   ChristinSposted 9 years ago

   My perspective on this is that she may just be showing some independence.  When I started dating again after my divorce I was all about "going dutch" on dates, not because I didn't like the person, but because I wasn't really ready for anything serious and also I didn't want to send the message that I was needing a man to take care of me etc.  I have no problem being an equal partner.  Of course when I met my current husband, that was one of the things he liked about me the most - the fact that I didn't just expect him to pay for everything (even though he was perfectly willing to do that).

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Being it's only a "first date" it's interesting you would say: "I wasn't really ready for anything (serious) and also I didn't want to send the message that I was needing a man to take care of me." Is allowing a man to pay for a 1st date serious?

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      ChristinSposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Sometimes men who pay for everything might expect "everything" a little too soon. Keeping a bit of distance means getting to know someone without expectations - doesn't mean "no interest" though, but pacing oneself maybe a better way to put it?

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Hopefully any man who asks a woman out on a first date shouldn't "expect" everything but there is nothing wrong with hoping! LOL!
      So you're saying by paying half the bill you're creating "distance" and altering his "expectations". Interesting!

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      Camille Harrisposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Agreed, ChristinS ("Sometimes men who pay for everything might expect "everything" a little too soon.")!
      
      That's generally my thinking when offering to pay half of the bill on a first date. It's unfortunate some people still think this way, but true

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      Sri Tposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Women have desires too. It's not just about what he expects. Some women want to have a little fun too. There is no such thing as too soon for either.

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   realtalk247posted 9 years ago

   Interested. I'll take myself out of the equation.
   
   I have know women that do the fake offer to pay for the date.  1/2 of these women do this as a trick. If the man lets you pay, they will pay and never talk to him again. The other 1/2 offer to pay because they want to show interest and are financially stable.
   
   You have the old fashioned and traditional women that are offended if a man would even offer or let a woman pay for the date. 
   BTW taking someone out does not mean she pays the tip. If a woman pays for any part of the date you don't get credit for the date. I'm just being honest.

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      So if the bill came up to $100 and the (woman voluntarily) offered to pay a $20 tip the man gets no credit for choosing the restaurant and buying her meal? I think there are women who have such a great time they're in the mood to contribute.

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   Tusitala Tomposted 9 years ago

   I would say the offer to 'go halves' in the expenses of that night out indicates that the woman is indicating her independence and an assertiveness which says, 'treat me as an equal.  I'm not reliant on you.'

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      That's true. However I've heard a few ladies indicate they pay when they want to create some "romantic distance". The belief is (some men) run a mental tab and figure they're entitled to a "make out" session later. Her paying half says "no way"

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   kevin aderaposted 9 years ago

   quite frankly i think this is just a gesture to project an individual who is independent and responsible, some men might find this a little disturbing and intimidating but ay the end of it all you will be dealing with a lady who is pursuing an almost equitable relationship and not a one-sided thing.

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I don't think men find it "disturbing and intimidating" to have women pay for dates. However I do believe some see a woman doing so on a (first date) as a gesture of putting the brakes on any romantic expectations he may have afterwards.

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      kevin aderaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      sounds like marking the boundaries

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Absolutely! The real test is whether or not she agrees to go out on a (second date) or she turns her head when he attempts to kiss her good-night. No commitment to go out again & a rejected kiss combined with her paying half add up to bye-bye!

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      kevin aderaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      you know sometimes dealing with women as a man calls "extra vigilance" women sometime tend to send very mild subtle signals that if you are not keen you may fail to add 1+2 to get 3.

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Very true!
      There is way too much energy put into sending "signals" and attempts  "reading" them between the genders. She could easily say: "I'll go out with you BUT don't expect ANYTHING from me!" Now that's some real honesty! LOL!
      No guessing!

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   Pennyforyourthotsposted 9 years ago

   I would say if the woman offers to pay half, it may mean that the date did not go well or as well as expected. She may not even consider it a date. On the other hand, if she offers to pay for all, she is being very generous and the date has gone exceptionally well and/or she is displaying her want to be independent.

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Very interesting! That's pretty much what TheBizWhiz said also. Offering to pay half on the "first date" does seem to signal there were no "romantic sparks" and she's not likely to go out with him again. Thanks for your answer.

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   Aime Fposted 9 years ago

   I've offered to pay half on every date I've been on, so no, it isn't a "lack of interest" thing for me, because I went on to have a few relationships after those first dates... including with my now husband.
   
   It's sort of just in my nature to offer to pay my own way. I don't like presuming that someone is going to pay for me under any circumstances. No date ever did want me to pay and I never pushed it. I can see how pushing it could send the message that I'm not interested. So I do think there's a difference between offering and insisting.
   
   Even then, if a woman insists on paying half and it sends the message that she's not interested, that's not necessarily the message she intended.

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      You make an excellent point about "intentions". Some women believe if you allow a man to pay for everything he's going to "expect" something later on. That may or may not be true however if a man asks a woman out on a 1st date he should pay.

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