I can't stress how inane and silly for anyone to make the claim that you "have to try something before you know you like it or not." That's the illogical and irrational fallback position of someone who is weak-willed and needs to justify their actions by assuming that lack of experience is the basis for not wanting to indulge or engage in some activity. Do you really need to cliff-jump, engage in animal sex, climb Mount Everest, eat crap, or fire-eat to know whether or not you "like it?" Come on...the ability to rationalize is what's supposed to separate us from the lower primates/animals. "Don't knock it till you try it" is a very lame justification/defense.
You don't need to find the "G" spot if you find the "C" spot. A little oral enlightenment for you. I think you will be alright with the "C" spot, you don't have to get as dirty as you would trying to find the "G" spot. Happy finding to you.
this becomes an issue of how humans gain knowledge, and what is true knowledge. For humans one of the only ways of gaining true knowledge is through experience, therefore you cannot know if you like something or not until you have experienced it. you can imagine having oral sex, and be grossed out, but you still wont know if you actually would enjoy it in real life. The ability to rationalize is what makes theories and ideas, but the ability to test things out, or experience things, is what makes true knowledge. you think that you would not enjoy oral sex, but you do not know, as in it is not knowledge to you that you do not like oral sex, you just theorize that you do not like it. your right that as humans we need to rationalize, that is how we get through every day thought, otherwise we would be having to gain knowledge on everything such as, is the chair your sitting in really there or is it an illusion of our imagination? if we did this with everything we would not get anything done, that is why we rationalize. But you cannot call something you rationalized as true knowledge, that would be ignorant, and as you said "weak-willed" and needs to be justified. one of the only ways to justify it is through experience, ergo the phrase "you have to try something to know if you like it or not".
By the same token, your generalizing as well. In many cases, that claim is NOT inane and silly: take different types of food, for example. In some cases, it is quite simply a fact in that it is how we learn. Your extreme examples might work but when it comes to a lot of other examples--not so much! In fact,in the case of one of your examples this would still be true. Climbing mountains can be quite exhilarating in the end. Mind you, if you have some type of issue directly related to climbing up a mountain such as a fear of heights that you never were treated for then this would be a problem. You truly cannot put oral sex into the same category as bestiality or eating pure crap!
sneakorocksolidposted 13 years agoin reply to this
My wife is a very sweet lady who is very down to earth and is the consumate career woman. I had a hard time not laughing and she didn't think sex was suppose to be funny. Her Mom always says I am romantic, my wife says she hasn't been alone with you! Thats very hurtful, I think I'm scared for life.
Sorry I didn't read all of these comments so if this is a repeated comment my apologies.
I just gotta ask... When I put my lips on my wifes face in that oral sex. When I put my lips on her neck ? is it When I put my lips on her breasts ?? How about on her belly button ??? Is the back side of her upper leg OK ???? is it yet ?
Where do ya supposed to stop before it gets to be a wrong thang. ????? And who are ya supposed to ask this question to ??????
I heard somebody in the back of the room say.... ya suposed to keep goin till she tells ya to stop. After that it will be a wrong thand. I didn't say that... Who said that ???????
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
A lot of things "give us pleasure" in the short-term that ultimately will ends up costing us in the long-run...smoking, drinking, eating the wrong foods, reckless behavior, etc. All I am asking is is it beyond the realm of possibility that oral sex may be just another one of those short-term-pleasure-long-term harm type of counter-productive decisions that we make as adults? The idea of oral sex is so ingrained in the American culture that no amount of reason can give anyone pause to at least consider the idea/notion that there may be something unnatural about it. The dynamics are the same as Western women trying to change the cultural habits of those in other countries (e.g., American women going to the Third World to tell them that female circumcision is "wrong;" you can't change what's ingrained since most people cannot think past their emotions or their desires). I'm just fortunate that some of us have a knowledge of self to at least question ingrained ideas without accepting them wholesale.
hmm. there's a lot of truth in what you say regarding the cultural aspects of it. i mean, pleasuring your man orally is what good girls do when we grow up, right? i mean we are expected to, and if we don't we're some kind of cold fish or something, or suffer from some deep-seated hang-up, or whatever. maybe we just don't dig it. why is that so earth-shattering? some people don't like chocolate ice cream and no one has a heart attack or psychoanalyzes them until the cows come home.
Exactly. My observations are that in our society, often the perverted minds are the ones who make the rules, mores, and cultural ideas that the rest of us are forced to live by (I don't mean "perverted" merely in the sexual sense). The people who tell us that "there nothing wrong with the death penalty", "abortion is a woman's right", "that greed is good," "there are measurable differences between the races/ethnic groups," "that THIS religion is better than THAT religion," "if it feels good, do it," etc. are the ones whose will is imposed on the masses. Its the Big Lie that Hitler and others articulated...tell a big enough lie often enough and it will eventually become the truth.
in a tribe in the Philippines in the Mountain provinces, they kill animals when they have feast, they deemed it is right, they have been doing that for thousand of years, for westerners it is weird, but for them it is one way of blessing their gods or nature etc
Relavitism is not only lazy thinking, at some point it is outright cowardly. So much easier to just say, "Hey man, it's all the same, who are we to say?" than to think about things, make what are often difficult and complicated judgements and then stand by them.
I have, and I have found that people are more alike than different and that some things are 'right' and some things are 'wrong,' no matter how badly some people want to hide behind relativistic nonsense and tell themselves it's 'sophisticated.'
Exactly prettydarkhorse. We Americans almost by nature are a very ethnocentric people...we tend to see the world through the strained prism of our own beliefs. I don't know of too many individuals who have the ability to think past what they like or what "feels good" to weigh the merits and validity of their beliefs. If you have not questioned your most basic assumptions at least once, you cannot grow as a person. I seriously doubt that people who love and defend oral sex so much have had the fortitude to stop and question it...or any other such strong beliefs.
I am agnostic; I believe that human beings are simply too intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, and physically limited to know or ascertain the nature of a Higher Being...if such a being exist. How can we know of a higher being if we cannot even think past the physical feeling and/or our emotional attachments to things like money, the infactuation with being "famous," the way we worship our bodies, or even oral sex? If anything, I believe that the Buddhists have the best perspective of spirituality...it cannot be pre-defined in some book, and in order to even attempt to learn of a Higher Spiritual Truth, we have to let go of our assumptions, our ideologies, our beliefs, and our emotional attachments to the material (yeah, I know...it sounds strange to most).
I don't like to generalize too much. Nor do I believe in taking an attitude that I am superior to my fellow Americans. I also don't believe in knocking other Americans in an international forum. Nor would I presume to tell others what is required for self-growth. I question a lot of things but questioning oral sex just seems "silly" compared to all the other topics one could question.
@ Beyond-Politics I am like asking you point Blank.
Have you ever had Oral Sex?
If yes then why are we discussing this here? If No why are you discussing this here?
Hope you understand my point.
World is not built by talking complicated and in phrases which take 3-4 lines. World is built by a single word "Love", and different people find different ways of expressing it, thus creating their own little worlds. Neither you, me or anybody else has any right to question other's world.
Again hope you understand. And Put a full stop to invading other's worlds' by your annoying words.
Lucy said I was a Shakespeare. But Lucy was My Dog
"If you were serious, you would not be so concerned with what I do." Same thing applies to you, you thing It as a frivolous thing therefore you are denying it's pleasures. " Learning to think past your emotions." wont hurt you either. May be it wasn't pleasurable after a spicy meal or whatever, that does not mean it wont be better next time.
"I came seeking perspectives and answers, not to be berated by the Peanut" I guess answers may come from you inside, best is ask your peanuts to rate you, even they will love OS.
And let me know how it was. I mean getting over you past emotions if you tried at all.
Lucy hates when I seem extra funny, You already met Lucy
Beyond-Politics, you keep referring to "We Americans" as if Americans are any different from the rest of the world, maybe you should use the phrase "we as people" or "we has humans". You say that everybody else is not being culturally understanding, but at the same time excluding the rest of the world as if the rest of the world is not like Americans. Its not just Americans that have oral sex, all nationalities have it. I think this brings up another point, if people from all around the world have oral sex, maybe there is something in the human wiring that gives us a desire for oral sex, and not just the environment around us that tells us that oral sex is good.
...not just oral sex, but many other decisions that don't make sense, such as smoking, drinking, suicidal behavior, etc. BTW, the rest of the world is NOT like America is many ways...for instance, most other countries believe in providing affordable health care for all of its citizens..its ingrained in their sociopolitical thinking, while WE are arguing and promoting this idea as "socialism." Other Western nations dont have a fraction of the murder rates we have, have greater life expectancies, lower rates of teenage pregnancy....we're the same in some ways, but where it counts, we ARE different.
My observations are that in our society, often the perverted minds are the ones who make the rules, mores, and cultural ideas that the rest of us are forced to live by (I don't mean "perverted" merely in the sexual sense). The people who tell us that "there nothing wrong with the death penalty", "abortion is a woman's right", "that greed is good," "there are measurable differences between the races/ethnic groups," "that THIS religion is better than THAT religion," "if it feels good, do it," etc. are the ones whose wills are imposed on the masses. Its the Big Lie that Hitler and others articulated...tell a big enough lie often enough and it will eventually become the truth; you repeat an idea often enough, it become so ingrained that those who question it will seem "weird," "repressed," "issue-ridden," etc. I would much rather prefer to be "sexually-repressed" than intellectually repressed and not open to different ways of thinking.
you must not have traveled very much in your life time, otherwise you would read you last statement and laugh. not all countries have health care, most have none at all. and while America is becoming more socialist than before, that does not mean that it is the only country in the world that has socialist ideas. every country is different, none is the same. we do not have the highest crime rate, or lowest life expectancy, or highest rate of teenage pregnancy, but that does not mean we are the worst at all of these things, just because we are not the best, does not make us the worst. take a trip to Nigeria and you will learn a lot. you are right, as humans we make many irrational decisions that make no sense. This is because as humans we have the ability to be influenced which is taken advantage of by the media, our peers, culture, and social environments.
how do we know that oral sex even exists, or if any of this even exists?
but as you said earlier, we have to rationalize if we are going to get anywhere with this conversation, so there is no point in throwing a quote like that in there. the quote simply explains that humans are ignorant, and only see and hear what they want to see and hear, kind of like your lack of cultural diversity. you see and hear of the United States as being so different, when in reality, they are just as different as everybody else.
A literary reference. Did you think that perhaps this would lose some people in here? I have to admit that while I might not agree with that particular quote I think quoting that particular person is right for this forum considering some of the things she chose as subjects.
I don't believe that any type of mutually beneficial sexual expression between two consenting adults can be considered "wrong". I also believe if you don't like oral sex, then don't give or receive it. Just keep in mind that sometimes our sex partner may have a particular preference that we should provide. That way, when it is our turn, we get to pick.
now, see, it's that "should" word that bothers me a little bit, coupled with "next time we get to pick".
if there is some practice that you clearly have no interest in doing, why do it? i am all for compromising in lots of things, such as movie selections, what kind of car to buy or even where to live but when it comes down to submitting to some practice you don't like, have no interest in or may even find repugnant just to 'get something' you want after the fact doesn't set well with me. i mean, what if your partner wants to tie you up and smear raspberry jam all over you
etb50 it's not so much we see/believe what we want to...our perceptions of reality are based on our individual experiences, socialization, and cultural influences. I am saying that some of us have resisted these phenomena to form our own opinions. Of course most of you know that (1) we ALL "generalize," and (2) some generalizations are valid. Usually, when people accuse others of "generalizing," its because their statements contain elements of truth that the "offended" person cannot/will not acknowledge. Here is what I'm witnessing; most of those who have decided to ridicule my beliefs about oral sex have obviously never stopped to think about it...they've just performed it and therefore "love it" because of the cultural & socialization influences in their lives. Those who profess to love it have adopted oral sex so much into their beings as "normal" that anyone who has the strength of will to question a generally accepted behavior cannot wrap their minds around the notion that there may dare be someone who doesn't allow himself/herself to think the same way, hence, stupid questions such as "do you like normal sex?" Let's just say that I'm not as sexually-obsessed as the rest of Americans...I wont die without it, and it doesn't control me as it evidently does most others (yes, another "generalization," but a very valid one). As an agnostic, I also had the strength of will to challenge the beliefs about religion that I had been spoon-fed since childhood, as well as a host of other things. Bottom line, SOME of us have the ability to consider perceptions & ideas of reality outside what the masses take on blind faith as "normal," and others don't. As an amateur historian, I know that history is full of times where the individual was right, and the masses were wrong (yeah, I'm sure even though this is a fact, I'm sure to catch a bit of hell making that observation); how do you know that this is not just another one of those times? Just something to consider. As I have stated repeatedly throughout this thread...its damn hard (almost impossible) for the average person to think or perceive possibilities beyond the scope of their emotions, their senses, and/or hedonistic desires (I emphasize ALMOST).
Perception is Reality! Most people make choices that are RIGHT for them, if Oral is NOT Right for you then continue NOT to do it. For most it is RIGHT, regardless why, strictly for pleasure, etc. What's wrong with doing things (that are legal and don't cause anyone else harm) strictly FOR pleasure??? FOR ME there is nothing wrong with that, and that's all I'm worried about, who the heck cares what you or anyone else thinks.
Why is viewing people participating in "sexual" activity, considered to be "DIRTY" and is anathema to "morality," while "OBSCENE" pictures and movies of people being killed and mutilated in war and crime can be watched by folks of any age...publicly, without...
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