Choice and Sexuality - The choice is for whom?

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   jlparkposted 11 years ago

   Choice and Sexuality - The choice is for whom?
   
   This is for the 'choicers' - those who believe it is a choice whom we are attracted to - is it merely the homosexual whom must have "chosen' this attraction - that heterosexuality is 'normal' and the way one is born, and gays have been lead astray? Or is it that both are innate? Or both/all sexualities are chosen? This is a place you may answer freely - I will not deny anything that is within the bounds of the rules (and...isn't calling for abuse, assault or murder of another etc). NO NAME CALLING however.

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2. 46

   dragonflymemoryposted 11 years ago

   Where do i fall on the sex and gender spectrum? 
   
   I don't know.  I just know sometimes I am here, and sometimes I am there, or maybe somewhere else or not at all.
   
   I have thought deeply about my answer the questions people have asked.  These questions typically sound something like, "What are you? Are you straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual?" 
   
   My answer is simple.  "I am just me." 
   
   Things like time, experience, education, mood and environment all help shape what makes me where I am on the spectrum or what I am on the spectrum.  But the one thing that remains the same is that "I am just me."

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      PoeticFailosophyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Your answer just made a religious nut's brain implode.  Good work.

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   2. 75

      d.williamposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yours is the most appropriate answer, as the human race is evolving towards androgyny.It is the only solution 2 combat the population explosion, the diehard haters will have a long road of confusion in their heads in order 2 grasp this concept.

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3. 84

   Georgie Loweryposted 11 years ago

   In all honesty, I am not gay, so I don't get to decide if it's a choice or something they're born with. At one time, I was one of those "I'll try anything" people and decided I wanted to date women, but that ultimately ended up being something that was not for me. For me, that was a choice but, as it clearly wasn't something that worked in my life, I can't say as to whether or not other people are born gay.

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   Cardisaposted 11 years ago

   This is my opinion.
   
   Whether or not someone is gay is no one else's darn business. No one is going around debating heterosexuality, why the hell do we keep debating homosexuality?
   
   No sexuality is a choice, you are either hetero or homo. You are either black or white. You are either Caucasian or Indian. None of those are choices we make.
   
   If one terms Heterosexuality as just "is" and homosexuality as a "choice' then that's where the problem comes in. It's like saying I am special because I am straight and you are doomed because you are gay.
   
   Sexuality is sexuality, whether you are gay, straight or in between, whatever it is.

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   1. 0

      christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      it is no ones business to a point. i know if my kid or a friend  were gay,  i would be worried about the risk factors involved. Would i be wrong for worrying about that?

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      Cardisaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      If your child was straight would you be worried abut the risk factors? My point is we should be worried about the risk factors concerning any sexuality, both gay and straight. You would be worried because they are gay and that is wrong.

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      d.williamposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      U may worry about anything you desire, but your concerns should never be the deciding factor in someone else happiness.  You do not have that right to decide.

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      christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      d.william
      i think youre thinking i hate gay people or something. my daughter is a member of gay, strait alliance.  there are just risk factors involved. dont take my word for it. look it up.

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      d.williamposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      the risk factors come from those who would discriminate, torment and kill the gay community.  Otherwise there are no greater risks to gays than there are to straights.

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      jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Christiananrkist - can you be more specific as to what risk factors you speak of? If it is STI related - it is riskier to think one is not at risk if one is not gay, as all are at risk if not careful. If this is not what concerns you - please explain

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   7. 0

      christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      men are at higher risk of getting HIV/AIDS, hepatitis, anal cancer, gonorrhea, gastrointestinal infections and developing anal fissures, and anal prolapse, women are at higher risk of bacterial infections and ovarian cancer.

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      d.williamposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      CK: Ur statistics have no basis in facts. These R personal opinions at best.  Ur assumption is that gay people have more unprotected sex than straights? None of the diseases U mentioned R more prevalent in any group who doesn't use protection.

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   9. 0

      christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      STD's are high risks in both groups with several partners. which is why i support monogamy in both. all others come from sodomy and inserting foreign objects. i would recommend against these in both groups. none of these are opinion or new findings.

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   10. 75

       d.williamposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       CK: Ur comments surely R opinions if they suggest that these problems R more prevalent in any particular group. Most gays enjoy a longer monogamous relationship that straights. Ur views R from the 60's mentality. PS:sodomy is not confined 2 gays.

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       christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       i didnt say anything was confined to gays. i said i dont recommend in  both groups. its more prevalent in same sex couples though. how is it not? having longer relationships is irrelevant to the issue, even if you could prove such a fact.

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       d.williamposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       CK: wrong again. How do you make the judgment that it is more prevalent in same sex couples? There is no known evidence of this. It is an argument that those who oppose use to justify their beliefs.

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       christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       sodomy causes physical harm. look it up. gay men participate in this more than hetero. true or false? i'm not making judgement .as i have said i dont hate gay people. the risks i pointed out can be verified. look it up.

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       d.williamposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       CK: wrong again.Sodomy causes no permanent harm.Violence causes injury.It is no more prevalent in same sex than in hetero couples.What is ur source of info?Perhaps U should write a hub on it, since U have O published & seem so informed on subject

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       christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       permanent? interesting word you chose. attacking the person not the argument. me not writing a hub is irrelevant. if you cant refute the acts i mentioned dont cause the harm i mentioned, then there is nothing left to say.

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       d.williamposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       CK:interesting comments.Ur asking ME 2 prove something that U said?U got it backwards.Permanent as opposed 2 temporary is ur argument?U say things as if they R truth, & get angry when called on it.Ur judgmental arguments R superfluous 2 the point

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       christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       im not angry. . im not blind to the facts, worried about being PC, or being popular. i hope my comments will at least make others take some precautions. im not asking you to prove, but to disprove. "youre judgmental" "thats opinion" are not arguments

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       d.williamposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       CK:Ur right,it's hard 2 argue/debate any issue when statements R randomly made as fact.Even if someone experiences what they state as fact is not a blanket truth-ex:saying 'all cats have fleas' is not fact or debatable.Opinions R in same category

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       christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       what is random about what it said? I did not give a "when did you stop beating your wife" kind of argument. I gave a cause and effect argument. not difficult to do research on. you obviously have not done so. im done. this is going nowhere

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       d.williamposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       CK: U make statements that others must disprove? Backwards. U make statements U prove them or keep them to yourself.

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       jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Christian - Sources please? Those most at risk of HIV/AIDs are those who feel it will not happen to them so don't use protection. Bacterial infections such as BV are not STIs, and Ovarian cancer is not linked to sexuality. Anal sex is hetero as well.

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       christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       i dont blame you for most likely not reading the long list of nonsense from me and D. i have stated all that already and agree. my argument is against sodomy and inserting foreign objects, causing problems. CDC.GOV, CANCER.ORG has good info.

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       Mklow1posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       CK, there is no use arguing with them because they have already labeled you as a hatemonger and written your facts off as rubbish because of your label.

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       d.williamposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       MK:Ur comments R partial true.Hate monger is the wrong term. Misinformed & refusing 2 educate 1's self is the main problem in our society. Making judgments not based on reality is not truth, it is opinion based on misinformation.

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       Mklow1posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       In ALL arguments, there are always "facts" to prove one's subjective point of view. It just depends on what one WANTS to believe.

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       christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       MK
       I agree with you. which is partially why I stopped responding to d.william. I know im labeled as such. like I stated earlier though, im not looking to be PC. we live in a culture where certain topic are off limits to criticism, but truth matters

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       jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Firstly, I'm an experienced RN, I meant articles, not generic websites. Secondly u specifically mention of gay people in relation to risks in yr 1st comment. The info you provide goes for ALL having sex. Monogamy is not exclusive to heteros.

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       christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       did i say monogomy is exclusive to hetero? U should read fully. what i mentioned is unsafe for ALL. but gays do it more often. like sodo. is that not the primary sex method of gay men?  types of acceptable articles? why are cdc.gov & cancer.org n

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   29. 75

       jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Assuming that one act is the primary sex method for any group is un-educated. It would b like assuming missionary is the primary method 4 ALL straight people.  Articles - link to actual peer-reviewed article statements of fact are from (peer-reviewed

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       christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       a better example would be strait couples primary method is vaginal intercourse. and yes it is. men do not have vagina's which is why sodomy. what is uneducated about that? center for disease control should have p2p articles. look for yourself.

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       jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       YOU make the statement of 'fact' - YOU provide the link to the article/s where this fact is made. It is not MY job to prove YOUR statement - it is yours. So, without proof - you merely have opinion - which u r entitled to - but it's still not fact

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       christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       opinion - a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.
       fact - something SAID to be true or SUPPOSED to have happened
       taken from dictionary.com
       if you dont want to check my sources, why did you ask? i think i have been clear why i believe what i do.

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       jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Provide me a link to an ACTUAL article (not the websites hmpg), + I will read it. I'm not trolling the internet to prove YOUR statement - thats your job. If it exists + you've read it - then U should know where it is, and be able to give a URL.

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       christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       http://www.pridesource.com/article.html?article=35233
       http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/gender/msm/index.html
       the other links wont fit. dang character limit. these are just 2 of many. this should at least inspire you to do your own research.

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   35. 75

       jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks. However, research is not the problem - the onus was on YOU, not me, to prove your statements. I have the proof of my own statements should I need to provide it, because it is my statement, therefore my job to prove. Get it?

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5. 75

   d.williamposted 11 years ago

   We have no "choices" of being what, or whom, we are born to be.
   It is time to recognize the fact that there are actually 4 distinct sexes in mankind:  Male, female, bisexual, and trans gender. 
   If "God" does not make any mistakes, then man must adjust his judging of others to include all birth anomalies as normal.
   In the not so distant past, people born with birth defects were also deemed to be the works of satan.  We now know that this kind of thinking is foolishly superstitious and totally false.
   No man/woman ever has the right to pass judgment on another person, for any reason.  If one persists on thinking that it is OK because of their religious beliefs - it is time to find a new religion.

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   1. 0

      christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      should we judge people who rape and murder? i know this is a different subject than the sexuality question, im not equating the 2. i just think its funny when people say not to judge , when the statement itself makes a judgment against others.

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   christiananrkistposted 11 years ago

   I don't believe the attraction is a choice. i believe the act is a choice. some may ask if the attraction isn't a choice, the why is it wrong? because it goes against biological structure of the body. there are physical consequences and risk factors involved. everybody has desires or temptations they come across that may not be good for them to fulfill physically and/or mentally. we have the choice to act or not to act on these desires or temptations.

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      d.williamposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      this is the most ignorant statement i have seen in a long time. Ur opinion has no bearing on the lives & happiness of others, thank god. THIS is the definition of judging others. & yes, i am judging U for judging others.

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      Cardisaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      @ christiananrkist
      Sex is a temptation not "sexuality. saying that sexuality is a temptation is contradicting your own arguments about "attraction not being a choice.

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      christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      what exactly about what is said is ignorant? you may be judging me for judging other, which is kinda funny that you admit it and see nothing wrong with. what is judgmental about my statement.? what part of what i said is wrong?

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      junksellerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Most everything in life has risk and reward. Even if homosexual activity has greater risk (which I am skeptical of), it in no way comes close to surpassing the reward of love, friendship, sex, and intimacy.

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      christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      @cardisa
      i see your point. i think my point is still valid in light of this though.
      @jusnkseller
      youre right about risk and reward. love and friendship is a great part of life. i dont believe sex and intimacy has to follow however.

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      d.williamposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      My apologies 2 Jlpark for my neg comments. They R a bit harsh. It is difficult 2 contain them when comments R made by those who have no knowledge of what they speak other than what they get from their pastors. God makes no mistakes in nature.

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      Mklow1posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      1st u apologize 4 a negtve stmnt, which afterwards u follow w/ another negtve stmnt. Then u make an assumption that others who don't agree w/ u only get their info from their preachers, assuming they can't think 4 themselves. talk about lackng facts

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      jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Risk factors u speak of anal and inserting objects: Men + women practice masturbatory acts involving insertion - be they straight or gay - therefore the risks u mention would not be confined to gay, straight or non-monogamous groups, would they?

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      christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      you keep insuating that i dont think strait people do these things, which i never said. my point is thta gay people are involved in these things more, due to the fact their parts dont connect properly. is sodo &/or insert. of objects harmful?

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       jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       If you use the appropriate protection and/or cleanliness, and is COMPLETELY consentual - then, inherently, no, they are not. Rape in any form - anal, insertion of objects also - is harmful - physically, emotionally etc. Again - sex is risky.

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       christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       thank you for actually giving some reasons for your disagreement. cleanliness and protection would not prevent everything i mentioned however. certain body parts are meant for certain uses. consensual sex between M/W is not risky unless one strays.

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       jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Assuming that one has NEVER been with another, ever - then you are correct. But, when 1 sleeps with another they R also sleeping with those that person has slept with in a way. Unprotected consensual sex is risky. AGAIN -acts u speak of not just gays

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       christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       yep, and AGAIN, i never said was. consensual, monogamous sex between m/w through natural method, ie: vaginal intercourse is risk free. you agreed. sodomy and other methods (not style ie: missionary) do involve risks and are  higher among homosexuals.

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       jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       You are incorrect - consen. mono unprotect sex M/W would ONLY be safe if they were both virgins. If u have had sex prior to current mono relationship - nope. Still risk for HPV, undetected HIV/Hep, HSV, Chlam, Gono, Syphilis. Regardless of sexuality

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   PoeticFailosophyposted 11 years ago

   It's a choose your own adventure. But whatever you do, DO NOT go to page 42.  It's a trap!!!! The weasel farm is actually a live volcano.

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      christiananrkistposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      lol. you never fail to have a good comment

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8. 82

   parrsterposted 11 years ago

   It would be ignorant to say that same-sex attraction doesn't exist. At some stage in life (typically when young), many feel attracted to the same sex for various complex reasons (I did). Some then move on to accepting themselves as being same sex oriented. Of these, some then move on to creating an identity around this orientation.
   Was this the result of a single choice? No.
   Were there multiple, varied & complex choices made over many years that led to it? Most likely.
   Few places we end up at in life are the result of a mental on/off decision switch. Most places we end up, however, required we make many, many decisions along the way; decisions likely the result of influences we had no control over.
   Having said that, the choices made that led you to where you are are not the important ones; they are in the past and unchangeable. The really important choices are the ones made regarding what to do with where you find yourself now. And that requires looking outside yourself.

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   jlparkposted 11 years ago

   In answer to the closing of this question:
   
   This has devolved into a "risks/benefits" analysis - and not once have I got the answer for which this question is asking. I am not asking about the risk or lack there of - or ignorance of risks in relation to heterosexuals not in a "perfect, pure" relationship - whatever the case may be.
   
   I was asking THIS:
   CHOICE?? Is there one? Do heteros choose? Have Gays been lead astray?
   
   I've tried before to pose this question before, and the Choicers seem to run a mile when I provide a safe forum for them to provide their thoughts rather than a "Its a CHOICE, you dirty homos because being straight is NORMAL" statement. I wanted the thoughts behind the decision that it is a choice...rather than hate or ignorance fuelled statements with no backing
   
   Perhaps it's because when looking deeper into the question - it is realised that if one is not a choice, the other is not either. Or perhaps it is because if it is a choice, then maybe they've had to consider being homosexual and that disturbs them. Perhaps it is that they realised that on looking at it that if they couldn't choose to willingly become homosexual, then maybe a homosexual couldn't become straight through wishing and hoping - because many homosexual teens would change at the drop of a hat if they could because prejudice on top of teenage dramas, and then hate crimes on top of that make life unbearable for some.
   
   Thanks to those who did answer.
   Thanks to those who did comment - even if the comments devolved into more a 'this is riskier than that" business - I am as much to blame as the next person for that.
   
   I will try this again sometime, perhaps in the religion answers, as they seem to be the ones who are convinced it's a choice.
   
   THanks, and farewell.

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