How do you help someone learn how to allow themselves to open up to their signif

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (7 posts)
  1. Alphadogg16 profile image92
    Alphadogg16posted 4 years ago

    How do you help someone learn how to allow themselves to open up to their significant other?

    I was recently asked to help someone learn to open themselves up, as their significant other was unhappy due to lack of communication/emotion in the relationship. I personally think it would happen naturally if you truly love someone, you would have no problem feeling vulnerable to them. I was thinking maybe there are some unresolved past issues or maybe it's not real love. Anyone have experience/an idea of teaching this?

  2. ivori profile image81
    ivoriposted 4 years ago

    If this is a relationship, there must have been some communication/emotion at one point.  There could be some leftover baggage filled with hurts, distrust, or deceiving that may have happened previously. However, something could have happened in the present relationship to trigger a person's defense system, i.e., something said, an irresponsible act, or something that brought out warning signs.

    1. Dr Billy Kidd profile image90
      Dr Billy Kiddposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      ivory, I like the idea of triggering defense mechanisms. This can in turn trigger the avoidance system, causing one to mentally and physically to avoid their partner.

  3. Dr Billy Kidd profile image90
    Dr Billy Kiddposted 4 years ago

    I tell people to start being honest and accept themselves as they are. Then they can start speaking honestly to their partner. This opens things up.

    1. ivori profile image81
      ivoriposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Absolutely, Dr Kidd.  If we accept and believe in ourselves, opening up to others becomes easier.  Trust yourself first.

  4. duffsmom profile image59
    duffsmomposted 4 years ago

    I can understand it. I was a very closed off person due to childhood issues and losing my parents young. It took me a long time to learn to trust my husband and know he wouldn't leave me. Thankfully, he is a wonderfully patient man. It took several years for me to learn to relax and stop asking him if he loved me.

    We've been married 43 years so things worked out just fine.  I'm not sure why you would be asked to help this person. It needs  to come from their significant other.

  5. kcsunny1 profile image61
    kcsunny1posted 4 years ago

    Well Kevin, there is no gauge for love.  Some people are just more closed off than others, much of it has to do with how we are raised or personal experiences (i.e. fear).  Which brings me to trust.  Sadly, many of us have trust issues that stem from within - the older (and more jaded) we become, trust becomes the single most difficult hurdle.  That being said, it's rarely attached to the object of your desire but rather it comes from within.  A person who subconsciously feels they are not worthy of trust tends to distrust others and thereby closes everyone off by walls that they THINK protect them from harm, when in fact, it causes harm and prevents them from being loved and trusting the way they so wish they could or would be in return.  (I know this all too well... and I think you do, also.)
    The answer to this - that's never so easy - the only way to break these patterns is with patience and love.  You can teach a person how to love and communicate with you by example.  We treat others the way we wish to be treated (or how we subconsciously feel we deserve to be treated.)


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)