Why does Dominance have such an effect on a person's mind?
Dominance can be cultural and is present in many traditional marriages. When a partner is treated dominantly should they be more aware of the poor and unhealthy relationship?
Hi Devika, why dominance affects/effects a person's mind, is a good question.
Dominance is a way of controlling another person, and if a person is told over and over again that they are this way or that way it tends to make the person being dominated believe that they are not able to think for themselves, and allows the domineering person to take control.
Dominance has an adverse effect on people who have low self esteem.
I am sure that most people who are dominated are aware that it is unhealthy for them to stay in such a relationship, so I believe that each individual who is allowing themselves to be dominated need to seek professional help and get out of the domineering relationship, because I don't believe the Alpha person can change.
I believe some people are attracted to those who "take charge" and they view them as strong protectors providing them with security against the trials and tribulations of life.
Overtime the "take charge" person not only handles all the issues that come up but soon they take on the responsibility of running their mate's life as well. Initially their mate was happy to turn over the reins to the "take charge" person to handle the bills, provide financially, and defend them against any would be attackers. Gradually the relationship evolves into the equivalent of a "parent/child" relationship. The weaker person becomes the servant.
Mentally the person who willfully gave up their power to make decisions and handle stressful situations that arise in life loses their self-esteem. Their protector becomes their jailer. They find themselves walking on egg shells and bending over backwards to obey or avoid conflict with the dominant one. Very often the dominant person becomes verbally or physically abusive. They have no respect for their mate. The longer this goes on the more difficult it is for the weak to reclaim their life. They lose perspective because they're unable to mentally step outside of their relationship and understand that they (do) have other options.
They blame their mate/spouse for their unhappiness instead of acknowledging that (they) get to (choose) their own friends, lovers, and spouse. No one is "stuck" with anyone!
The beautiful thing about a door is it lets those who want in (in) and those who want out (out). If someone is unhappy in a relationship and they (choose) to stay then they are (choosing) to be unhappy.
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
Yes, definitely a partner should be aware of excessive dominance in a relationship. It can certainly be a precursor to abusive and unhealthy patterns. I mention the term "traumatic bonding" in one or two of my hubs which refers to how dominance in a relationship can create an unhealthy, emotional and psychological dependency on the person who abuses and provides. It's an awful dynamic and extreme example of dominance.
I have always shared Hegel's dialectic of the master-slave relationship for understanding dominance with relationships. That may be a good starting place and then some may disagree. Bear in mind historically not all slave owners were inhumane and greedy with presenting care, although there was a dominant position and slavery was traditional. (I am thinking of Biblical history and Greek history)
I feel there is a difference between dominance and dominant. Dominant does not have to mean having dominance, in my humble view. As shared with the introduction some cultures with 'traditional' marriage have an instituted dominant partner of position. That is cultural and not necessarily of all relationships in a marriage. Some cultures are patriarchal and some matriarchal. At times that difference is focused only within the coupling.
Treating a partner by dominating or exercising dominance is entirely different than to have a dominant position. The dominant position must be defined. As suggested dominating is a behavior worth scrutiny.
EX: (This centers on dominance with money and position) Working within the auto industry for many years I can attest many times the traditional dominant person - male or husband, (that being over twenty years back through today with personal experience), of the relationship did authorize the work. However, many, many times it was with a nod of approval from the other partner.
Many times when the lesser of the traditional partnership, female or wife, was authorizing the work as the dominant position of the transaction a phone call was made first. Who knows the what of that conversation.
I have heard countless times "She won't let me spend that much" when presenting a solution for driving needs giving cause someone or persons established an amount first. When I heard that statement I heard respect of a position by a position.
This does not answer the question of 'why' does dominance have such an effect on a person's mind. My best guess is even with brain washing techniques thoughts are still free and can be exercised with liberty. The consequence of acting upon those thoughts, in my humble view, are what weigh upon the person's mind. Feelings of insecurity, even though of being the dominant position, and behavior is a key to scrutinize both sides of that fence I would think.
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