What is good communication and understanding in a marriage?

1. 23

   DDEposted 4 years ago

   What is good communication and understanding in a marriage?
   
   Communication and understanding is often taken the wrong way with your married partners how would you look at a good communication and understanding in a marriage, any different approaches?

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2. 87

   dashingscorpioposted 4 years ago

   A lot of people have unrealistic expectations concerning what communication really is.
   Communication is not an 'ask and it shall be given proposition'.
   One common mistake a lot of  us make is confusing communication with (action) Too often people feel that if their mate/spouse does not give them what they've asked for it means they have a "communication problem".
   Communication is nothing more than one person expressing an idea and another person acknowledging they heard and understood what was said.
   Another issue a lot of people have is they are not (direct) when asking for things they want or need. Instead they prefer to (drop hints) then wait and see. For example a husband tells his wife; "I love your chocolate fudge cake. It's been awhile since you made one." A month goes by and the wife has not made a cake. He becomes frustrated. Was there a communication problem?
   Yes and no. Clearly the wife understood every word he said. However the husband was not clear about his wishes. Had he said, "Will you make me a chocolate fudge cake this weekend?" His wife's response would have adjusted his expectation. Being direct about what you want/need is the key.
   Lastly there are two basic reasons why your mate may not give you what you have asked for.
   1. They don't have it to give. (In other words it's not who they are by nature)
   2. They don't believe you are worth the effort to give it to.
   What a lot of people do at this point is to ask over and over again, nag, pester, lash out, plead like children do with parents, or try to get their mate to "change" and some will withhold affection and sex.
   Ultimately you have to decide if not getting what you want is really a "deal breaker". If it is (get out), if it's not (learn to live without).
   "There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: we either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have."

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   1. 23

      DDEposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      ''There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: we either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.'' So true  thank you

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3. 88

   liesl5858posted 4 years ago

   In my own opinion, good communication and understanding is being honest in every way to your other half. It has to work both ways though.

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   1. 23

      DDEposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Well said simple and most thoughtful thank you

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4. 78

   lisavanvorstposted 4 years ago

   Listening skills are very important in any relationship. Sure we can talk and talk and talk, but are we really listening to one another? Communication is very important and listening to one another is even more important.

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      DDEposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Listening helps mostly thank you

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5. 83

   mathiraposted 4 years ago

   Good communication is a must for a good marriage. Nowadays couples talk about important family matters only. Small talking about innocuous matters adds spice to your marriage as they are non argumentative and pure fun. You should joke and laugh together. Listen to the problems of your spouse with empathy.

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