Why are you still with an abusive partner?

Jump to Last Post 1-3 of 3 discussions (11 posts)
  1. baybpnk profile image79
    baybpnkposted 4 years ago

    Why are you still with an abusive partner?

    Abuse is never okay, so I'm forever annoyed and not understanding why someone would stay with an abusive partner, physically or emotionally. Abuse is NOT love. No matter how much they say they love you, they obviously don't love you more than they love them self or they would hold back on the abuse.

  2. Amanda108 profile image91
    Amanda108posted 4 years ago

    I understand your confusion (and annoyance). There are many psychological reasons for someone to stay with an abusive partner when they have other options of help or escape, reasons that I thankfully have never experienced, and reasons that are certainly sympathetic. I acknowledge that. But I *have* experienced my own fair share of psychological and emotional problems and I didn't let them control me, so I have little sympathy for someone who stays with an abuser no matter how scared or stuck they feel. There are always options and you can't let your emotions rule your life.

    I'll go a step further and add that if someone is choosing to stay in an abusive relationship when they have other options and children are in the home, then BOTH parties - the abuser and abused adult - should go to jail for child endangerment.

    1. baybpnk profile image79
      baybpnkposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with that. I have also been the victom of physical and emotional abuse and I refused to stay in those situations. There is NO excuse to be i a relationship like that and also still complain about it. GET OUT.

  3. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 4 years ago

    From what I understand people who stay in toxic relationships generally feel/believe that they have very few if any options.
    A large percentage of the victims lack self-esteem or self-love. They're so caught up in their small corner of the world filled with it's drama that they lack the perspective to see just how vast the world really is with it's 7 billion other potential people to meet.
    Lastly victims never want to take responsibility for anything that goes wrong in their lives. In fact if anyone points out that some of their own choices/decisions helped to put them in a bad spot that person is often vilified with chants of "Don't blame the victim!"
    No one else is in a better position to look out for you than you!
    Our society places more focus on trying to change the abuser instead of trying to change the mindset of the victim. We're always where we choose to be. No one is "stuck" with anyone!
    The beautiful thing about a door is it lets those who want in (in) and those who want out (out).  If someone is unhappy in a relationship and they (choose) to stay then they are (choosing) to be unhappy. Each of us chooses our own friends, lovers, and spouse. We get to decide whom we spend our time with!

    The world may not owe you anything but (you) owe yourself the world!
    "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
    - Oscar Wilde

    1. baybpnk profile image79
      baybpnkposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      The victim-blaming thing is more with sexual/physical/emotional assault victims who could not help what happened to them. In this case, it is pretty true; you're the only one who can get away from a toxic relationship you are in. Thank you!

    2. dashingscorpio profile image88
      dashingscorpioposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Nevertheless oftentimes there a precautions one can take to reduce the odds of being a victim. I wrote about this topic. http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/ … The-Victim

    3. baybpnk profile image79
      baybpnkposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      You just said that to a former victim. I have thoughts on this reply and your hub.

    4. dashingscorpio profile image88
      dashingscorpioposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I suspect anyone who has lived long enough has been victimized at some time in their life including myself. Empowerment comes from learning how to protect or reduce the odds of repeating history. We can only control ourselves.

    5. baybpnk profile image79
      baybpnkposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with that, however, sexual assault is a different kind of assault.

    6. dashingscorpio profile image88
      dashingscorpioposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I also agree with you. My point is  to make people aware of ways to reduce the odds of becoming a victim by being aware and not overly trusting. There is no 100% way to avoid it. All we can do is our best to stay safe and look out for #1.

    7. baybpnk profile image79
      baybpnkposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, you're right! There are definitely ways to look out for others mistreating you or taking advantage of you. I appreciate your point, humans are not as trustworthy as we like to think.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)