Do some people remarry in haste just because they fear the idea of being alone?

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   bethperryposted 9 years ago

   Do some people remarry in haste just because they fear the idea of being alone?
   
   A friend's sister lost her husband of 18 years to cancer and seven months later married a man - and one with the same first name of her dead husband. Something very similar happened with my husband's uncle, too. Is it possible some folks hastily remarry (whether after death of their partner or after divorce) because they simply think they are expected to have a mate or fear being alone?
   
   

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   mathiraposted 9 years ago

   You are right when you say people remarry in haste. But invariably they repent in leisure. Remarrying on the rebound always fails as you make all wrong decisions without thinking of the repercussions. When you are emotionally deprived you long for some support. When the support comes from the opposite sex it strikes an immediate emotional chord and you term it as love. But such remarriages do not last as when the newness wears off you feel you have made the greatest blunder of your life.

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      bethperryposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Well, I do believe in true love, but yes you make some very good points. Thanks for sharing!

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   fpherj48posted 9 years ago

   Hi Beth!......"Amen," to what mathira said!   I'd have to agree with her, based on some of the hasty re-marriages I've witnessed/experienced.
   Just as with anything else though, this can all depend on the persons involved. 
   Women and men with small children can get themselves into a frame of mind thinking they MUST have a partner to assist in raising their kids.....to regain that "Family" status.  This may be the worst reason of all for getting married again.  Kids grow up and leave home.  And there you are with this person who strangely has little purpose in your life!  Oops.
   "In haste" is not a wise way to make any major decision that effects one's life so personally.  But we humans do it.....repeatedly.  Duh!
   IMO.....for the most part, it's a great idea for people to learn to be happy, productive and complete without a partner for a healthy length of time before even considering saying "I do" again.
   Your comment made me think about something I hadn't thought about in many years.  I have 3 friends who married the SAME man they had bitterly divorced.  I remember well, my reaction as well as the reaction of most others........It was something on the order of......"WTF??!!"
   BTW......ALL three couples ended up ......yep, you guessed it.....divorced again.  Hmmmm...Imagine that!  LOL

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      bethperryposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Whoa! Your friends stayed BUSY at the court house, didn't they? lol Thanks for sharing and wow.

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      fpherj48posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I know...right?  Nothing like putting your Attorney's kid through college!

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   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   I believe most people really do believe they're "in love" when they decide to get married. In the case of your friend's sister it is more likely the man she was dating professed his love and proposed to her.
   It's rarely about one person wanting to get married these days. Clearly this guy wanted to marry her in a short time frame. He may have viewed her as being an ideal mate after learning what she had gone through and how she supported her former husband in sickness and health. What was once seen as normal is now a rare find these days. He may have felt he found a "good woman". She in return enjoyed being appreciated. Some people do get "lucky" also.
   The "infatuation phase" of new relationships is always tricky because everyone is so happy during that period. It's not uncommon for people to feel as though they've met their "soul-mate" and start making wedding plans before they've had a single major disagreement.
   Lastly some people have had very little dating experience or they simply hate the dating process. Whenever they meet someone they're quick to jump to "exclusive status" And if someone has a strong religious connection they probably would rather be married  sooner than to have a long-term "dating relationship" or be a "serial dater".
   I saw a study a while back that indicated in U.S. divorced men are likely to re-marry sooner than divorced women! It was speculated that after having been married many men found marriage to contain several benefits while women were more likely to embrace their newfound freedom and independence after divorce. In other words marriage benefits exceeded the men's expectations but they did not live up to the expectations of these group of women.

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      bethperryposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      dashingscorpio, very interesting! I sure wouldn't have guessed it. And thanks for your thoughts; you make some valid points!

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   jamillalawposted 9 years ago

   yeah because things change and its not as easy in the dating world as it us to and after being in a relationship for so long you dont want to start over so you hurry up and find somebody to stick to.

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      bethperryposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting jamillalaw, thank you.

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   The Examiner-1posted 9 years ago

   Probably because they are scared/afraid of being in the house, or the world, alone and want someone with them at all times. During the day it is likely that they have a job so they would have all of the people there. At night, when they did not go out, the house would be empty, so they need someone to be with them at all times. If they get married then they would have a partner/mate with them. Partner B would only think that partner A was interested them. Things may not be suspected, at least for a while.

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      bethperryposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      You may well be right, Kevin.

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   padmendraposted 9 years ago

   The people who marry quickly, without really getting to know each other, may discover later that they have made a mistake. Repenting later for their hurriedness make them to pay price for the wrong decision. It is absolutely necessary in the marriage that both the persons should know about each other's habit, way of living and frame of mind. This is important because living together for life needs understanding, care and the way of thinking which bind them together and most importantly that the companion is sensible, honest and believes in patience rather than being aggressive on small problems in the marriage.

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      bethperryposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Agreed!

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