Ladies would you go out on a date with a man you are not attracted to nor have a romantic interest?
I had a discussion with a woman who said: "Dates are for fun, so I see nothing wrong with going out with someone you're not attracted to." Do you really believe (men) often ask women out on dates whom (they find unattractive) and have no romantic interest in?
I'm not talking about a "platonic friendship" where two people are going to be "hanging out". I'm talking about guys who introduce themselves, ask for your phone number and dates afterwards.
What do you think (his motive) was for asking (you) out and not some other woman? Just to have fun? or Does it matter to you why he asked you out?
I wouldn't go on a date with someone I'm not attracted to in a romantic way. It would be a waste of time. I once went on a blind date and it was not good. I had to get out of there as soon as it was possible for me to escape without being rude.
I couldn't agree more. I also had a horrible blind date & won't go on another. I had a sprained foot, was on crutches & he walked far ahead. Other men were opening doors for me & flirting with me! I never saw that ill mannered loser again
Women who choose to ignore the fact that men only ask women out whom they're attracted to are probably responsible for a many guys ending up in the "friend zone"! Saying "yes" to date gives a man "hope". Wasting someone's time is selfish & cruel
That woman sounds like she could be taking advantage of the men asking her out just for an outing that she won't be paying for. I'd imagine she has left a trail of men who were interested in her until they saw she only wanted them to pay for an outing, that she was not as interested as they once were. I believe a date is a date, the man feels some chemistry and hopes to get to know her and spark a romance, it is not a platonic outing.
I have always believed that if I'm being asked out that it is for romance and never has a man said or implied otherwise to me. It does matter to me why I am being asked out and if I don't find him attractive or if I am suspicious of his motives, I don't waste his time or mine. I still can't believe that conversation you had or that she doesn't see anything wrong with her "view" of this. I could not use someone for a date but I know that some women do. Ah, the bad apples.
Express10, I believe some women (choose) to think this way in order to make it okay in their mind to fill up their calendar with something to do. Men don't usually invest time/money on women they find unattractive. All women (should) know this.
I just responded to this in the forums, but I'll expand on it here...
When someone asks me on a date it seems clear to me that it's for the purpose of exploring a romantic relationship. No, you're not required to make a commitment on the first date and it's fun in that you're exploring new people and experiences. But the insinuation that "I want to see you because I'm attracted to you and want to see if there's something here" is still very much there. Dating someone when you know you're not attracted to them is leading them on, without a doubt.
There have been people who I'm not attracted to but whose company I really enjoy and I would never call hanging out with them a "date". I would call it hanging out with a friend.
"When someone asks me on a date it seems clear to me that it's for the purpose of exploring a romantic relationship."
- Very true!
It's not because a guy has money burning a hole in his pocket! He's (attracted to you) and wants to learn more.
It is hard to tell, it all depends on how I am approached. For me its important not to hurt someone's feeling.
Rejection early on hurts less than getting rejected later on.
Again it depends. Individuality makes human interaction more completed than a one catch phrase. There are more than one way to interact with a man that shows interest when you are not, for me it is more important to salvage a man's ego.
You said: "it is more important to salvage a man's ego." The reality is it more important not to lead someone on as well as to be true to oneself. No one has to be "rude" but men can handle rejection and they appreciate honesty.
How does that work? You're still going to have to tell him you're not interested at some point... unless you plan on marrying someone to save their ego. Best to do it earlier before you waste their time.
Again it depends and yes it is more important for me to salvage a man's ago. It's all about how one chooses to interact with others, or men in particular. Why take it to such and extreme and bring up marriage? Is is only a first date.
I thought I had exapanded on that. I brought it up because if you're not attracted to them you'll have to break it to them sometime. Why is it better to do it after the first date than before?
Sure, I'd go out with him, because I may develop an interest later.
That's completely different from how men approach dating. They only ask out a women whom they're (already attracted) to or interested in. Thus they assume if she says "yes" it's mutual. Unfortunately some women say yes just to go out!
Three years ago, I checked out eHarmony, and got a date from a man who flat-out said he wasn't interested in me. I wasn't interested in him either. But he told me about Skype, which is a way to date people in cyberspace. So I learned something.
I know too many women that go out on dates with men they are not attracted to. there are WAY to many women out their that will use men to buy them stuff. So my answer to this would be NO. going out on a "date", hmmmmm, doesn't that mean if your going on a date you a interested. why call it a "date"? If you are not interested then you should make it clear your only friends and its not a date, Even better bring your friends along. don't make feel bad, but don't give the wrong impression.
"going out on a "date", hmmmmm, doesn't that mean if your going on a date you a interested. why call it a "date"?" Exactly!
These women know full well the guy is romantically interested in them which is why he's spending his money and time.
I might go out with someone I was not initially attracted to after having conversation that makes me want to get to know them better. If I'm not attracted and don't want you in any way I will not waste your time and money. I'd rather a guy spend him time, attention, and money on someone that can return his feelings.
Then there are straight gold-diggers. Women who know they don't like the guy but see him as free drinks, partying, or food. That is WRONG!
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