Do you believe you can chose to love someone for the rest of your life?
Is it possible that staying in love can be something you chose to do, if it feels right with a specific person? Can we see the connection that is already existing with that person, and chose to cherish it, make it grow, keep it strong, fight for it, and keep it for as long as you want to? I believe this to be true...how else do marriages last 20 plus years without the commitment to one another that you are going to out effort into that relationship and make it last? You chose to. Thoughts?
Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
We get to decide whom we give our phone number, email address, and how much time we want to spend with someone. We say "yes" to dates, to kisses goodnight, to additional dates, to sex, and marriage.
An absolute "no" would have stopped things in their tracks and there never would have been an opportunity to fall in love.
Essentially if we get to choose who we spend our time with then we're controlling who we fall in love with.
"how else do marriages last 20 plus years without the commitment to one another that you are going to out effort into that relationship and make it last?"
Several years ago a young radio host asked her 85 year old grand-mother; "What is your secret for having a 60 year marriage?"
The old woman replied: "Baby, we just stayed together."
If two people decide that no matter what they say or do to each other (divorce is not an option) then having a lasting marriage is fairly easy.
I know married couples who live in the same house but in different quarters. I also know of married couples who live in separate houses but get together for family and company events. There are other married couples who cheat on each other discretely or tolerate some form of abuse and they have no plans to leave.
In our society we tend to measure the success of a marriage by how long the couple remains married and not if they're still romantically "in love". There are lots of "emotionally divorced" married couples!
If neither person has any "deal breakers" or "expectations" then simply (staying together) is a piece of cake!
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them as (is) or move on.
The choice is up to us!
the choice is always in our hands...
"for better or for worse" is one of the phrases used when taking vows in the west. Normally when the worse arrives people chose to quit on each other.
on the other hand when someone really understands the words they say in the vows then it means you have created a pact that no matter what you will stick together, you have closed all alternate options and you have to make it work with that person. where there is a will there is a way... when you cross the first barrier together you become closer to each other, and with every subsequent barrier crossed you grow even closer. you may fall out of love at some stage without knowing it but you will fall back in love again if you give it enough time.
Love is not at its peak when you are getting married. It is at its peak when you have spent years of highs and lows together.
Sure some cases are rough and there is no better option than to get out of it, but that is still a choice we make.
just my opinion.
You can choose to love someone for the rest of your life if you accept them as they are.
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