For those who have experienced divorce, did you see it coming? What advice would

  1. realtalk247 profile image75
    realtalk247posted 3 years ago

    For those who have experienced divorce, did you see it coming? What advice would you give others?

    Love and Marriage - Divorce.  Reasons for divorce:Marrying for the Wrong Reasons, Lack of Individual Identity, Not Having a Shared Vision for Success, Lack of Intimacy, Unmet Expectations, and Finances.
    Did you see it coming? Did you get married  knowing you didn't like the person, married for financial stability, or were you pressured into marriage? Did you know you were with someone you didn't love/trust, someone with poor money management skills/lack of priorities in life? Did you get married thinking you could change your spouse?What advice would you give others when considering marriage?

  2. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago

    My guess is it's rare when someone doesn't see it coming.
    They may ignore it or refuse to believe it.
    Very similar to the old Gladys Knight & The Pips song:
    "Neither One of US" where two people realize it's over but neither has said it out loud.
    There are some people that never "legally divorce" but are "emotionally divorced". They may live in separate areas of the house and each person does their own thing including seeing other people.
    However in most instances there is usually a "deal breaker" committed in the eyes of one person; (cheating, repeatedly verbal/physical abuse, drug/alcohol addiction, constant arguing, physical and emotional neglect..)
    Eventually one person realizes they can't live the rest of their life this way. Once they realize they can't "change" another person their only other options are accept them as they are or move on. Life is short.
    Having said that I believe the top two reasons for divorce are:
    1. Choosing the wrong mate
    This often happens when we have not figured out who we are and what we want in a mate for life (before) we pursue relationships. It's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!
    They have no real mate selection criteria.
    They allow "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate their relationship choices. Never separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart.
    2. Getting married for the wrong reasons
    An ultimatum was given, an unplanned pregnancy, had an age goal to be married by, all of their friends were married, just got tired of dating and being single, someone was about to be deployed on military duty and wanted to have someone waiting for them, the perspective spouse has money, fame, or connections, had been "a couple" for years and decided (why not) take it to the next step, fear of never being proposed to again...etc
    A marriage based upon circumstances rather than love is likely to fail.
    The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the marriage that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
    Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!
    Staying together for the wrong reasons is just as bad as getting married for the wrong reasons.
    "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
    - Oscar Wilde


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)