What are the rules and expectations of having an affair with a married man?

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  1. FastThoughts821 profile image60
    FastThoughts821posted 8 years ago

    What are the rules and expectations of having an affair with a married man?

    You are obviously not first nor a priority. If you have been talking for a whole year. It took 6 months before any sexual interactions. He does not pressure, and he said I love you first.

  2. Aime F profile image71
    Aime Fposted 8 years ago

    The rules and expectations are generally that you don't do it.

    1. FatFreddysCat profile image93
      FatFreddysCatposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      What Aime said.

  3. Link10103 profile image60
    Link10103posted 8 years ago

    Rules and expectations kind of flew out the window head first bound by an anchor the moment the affair started...

    As for what to do...Aside from breaking it off? Wing it, do whatever and see what happens. The former is more recommended at this point though.

  4. fpherj48 profile image60
    fpherj48posted 8 years ago

    FastThoughts.....I find it rather curious why a woman who would have an affair with a married man, is concerned about "rules."  If this woman followed any rules of life or moral code, an affair would not exist.
    However, by my observations as well as my interaction with women who have sought help & support with the emotional roller coaster of an affair, I can forewarn her of the expectations she could have:.

    An inability to believe what he says to her (he's already proven himself a fraud)
    She will never be able to expect him to keep a "promise."
    Her self respect will begin to slowly break down
    She'll need to adjust to taking a back seat to his family obligations.
    A woman can also expect to hear empty promises with any number of excuses for why they were broken
    She will know when he uses the word, "Love"....he really means, "Lust."
    If her friends & co-workers discover her secret, she will lose respect & credibility.
    She'll be missing out on opportunities to meet the wonderful, single man who may have been her Hero.
    When he ends the affair, she can expect a long recovery from anger, disappointment, bitterness and regret.
    She should expect to ultimately realize she was simply used for selfish motives and an ego boost.
    She can expect to feel empty for a long time.

    These are just a few of the many unpleasant expectations a woman can welcome into her life along with her married "cheater."

  5. MarieLB profile image76
    MarieLBposted 8 years ago

    There are rules to having an extra-marital affair ?! ?! ?! ?! ?!

  6. LoisRyan13903 profile image62
    LoisRyan13903posted 8 years ago

    Do not expect him to leave his wife.  But if he does, expect him to leave you as well.

  7. lisavollrath profile image86
    lisavollrathposted 8 years ago

    Honestly, you should have no expectations, since he's married, and doesn't take that commitment seriously. Even if he were to eventually leave his wife, why would you want him? He's a cheater, and once a cheater, always a cheater.

  8. dashingscorpio profile image81
    dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

    Truthfully everyone lives life according to their own rules!
    If you want to do something you will find a way to "justify" doing so.
    From my point of view there are two kinds of mistresses.
    1. Those who secretly want the man leave his wife and family for her.
    2. Those who are only in it for fun, money/gifts, and would walk away if the man left his wife to be in a full-time relationship with them.
    Since you brought up who he loves "first" it sounds like you fall under category #1. Donald Trump left his first wife for his mistress Marla Maples. They got married and also got a divorce. That is the "exception". He's a multi-billionaire and could absorb the financial hit without experiencing any changes to his lifestyle.
    Generally speaking in the U.S. (women) initiate the filling of divorce 66%or 2/3rds of the time. Most cheaters aren't looking to replace one relationship with another. They want to "compliment" what they already have. Their goal is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side.
    The thought of splitting assets in half, moving out of a home into an apartment, paying child support and alimony, while becoming a weekend dad is not high on most married men's wish list.
    People cheat because they don't believe they will get caught!
    Only after being caught will they deal with the consequences and even then some wives choose to forgive and the men end up dumping the mistress. If a man really wanted out of a marriage he'd pay the cost to be free. Clearly things aren't that bad at home.

  9. M. T. Dremer profile image85
    M. T. Dremerposted 8 years ago

    Don't. It's like asking what the rules and expectations are of taking a bath in acid. It will end badly every time.


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