What are the rules and expectations of having an affair with a married man?

Jump to Last Post 1-9 of 9 discussions (10 posts)
  1. FastThoughts821 profile image60
    FastThoughts821posted 3 years ago

    What are the rules and expectations of having an affair with a married man?

    You are obviously not first nor a priority. If you have been talking for a whole year. It took 6 months before any sexual interactions. He does not pressure, and he said I love you first.

  2. Aime F profile image84
    Aime Fposted 3 years ago

    The rules and expectations are generally that you don't do it.

    1. FatFreddysCat profile image100
      FatFreddysCatposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      What Aime said.

  3. Link10103 profile image73
    Link10103posted 3 years ago

    Rules and expectations kind of flew out the window head first bound by an anchor the moment the affair started...

    As for what to do...Aside from breaking it off? Wing it, do whatever and see what happens. The former is more recommended at this point though.

  4. fpherj48 profile image78
    fpherj48posted 3 years ago

    FastThoughts.....I find it rather curious why a woman who would have an affair with a married man, is concerned about "rules."  If this woman followed any rules of life or moral code, an affair would not exist.
    However, by my observations as well as my interaction with women who have sought help & support with the emotional roller coaster of an affair, I can forewarn her of the expectations she could have:.

    An inability to believe what he says to her (he's already proven himself a fraud)
    She will never be able to expect him to keep a "promise."
    Her self respect will begin to slowly break down
    She'll need to adjust to taking a back seat to his family obligations.
    A woman can also expect to hear empty promises with any number of excuses for why they were broken
    She will know when he uses the word, "Love"....he really means, "Lust."
    If her friends & co-workers discover her secret, she will lose respect & credibility.
    She'll be missing out on opportunities to meet the wonderful, single man who may have been her Hero.
    When he ends the affair, she can expect a long recovery from anger, disappointment, bitterness and regret.
    She should expect to ultimately realize she was simply used for selfish motives and an ego boost.
    She can expect to feel empty for a long time.

    These are just a few of the many unpleasant expectations a woman can welcome into her life along with her married "cheater."

  5. MarieLB profile image82
    MarieLBposted 3 years ago

    There are rules to having an extra-marital affair ?! ?! ?! ?! ?!

  6. LoisRyan13903 profile image81
    LoisRyan13903posted 3 years ago

    Do not expect him to leave his wife.  But if he does, expect him to leave you as well.

  7. lisavollrath profile image95
    lisavollrathposted 3 years ago

    Honestly, you should have no expectations, since he's married, and doesn't take that commitment seriously. Even if he were to eventually leave his wife, why would you want him? He's a cheater, and once a cheater, always a cheater.

  8. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago

    Truthfully everyone lives life according to their own rules!
    If you want to do something you will find a way to "justify" doing so.
    From my point of view there are two kinds of mistresses.
    1. Those who secretly want the man leave his wife and family for her.
    2. Those who are only in it for fun, money/gifts, and would walk away if the man left his wife to be in a full-time relationship with them.
    Since you brought up who he loves "first" it sounds like you fall under category #1. Donald Trump left his first wife for his mistress Marla Maples. They got married and also got a divorce. That is the "exception". He's a multi-billionaire and could absorb the financial hit without experiencing any changes to his lifestyle.
    Generally speaking in the U.S. (women) initiate the filling of divorce 66%or 2/3rds of the time. Most cheaters aren't looking to replace one relationship with another. They want to "compliment" what they already have. Their goal is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side.
    The thought of splitting assets in half, moving out of a home into an apartment, paying child support and alimony, while becoming a weekend dad is not high on most married men's wish list.
    People cheat because they don't believe they will get caught!
    Only after being caught will they deal with the consequences and even then some wives choose to forgive and the men end up dumping the mistress. If a man really wanted out of a marriage he'd pay the cost to be free. Clearly things aren't that bad at home.

  9. M. T. Dremer profile image92
    M. T. Dremerposted 3 years ago

    Don't. It's like asking what the rules and expectations are of taking a bath in acid. It will end badly every time.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)