What is the best advise you NEVER took?
What advise has someone given you that you NOW wish you would have taken? Perhaps we don't really EVER take anyone's advise, or DO we? If we don't, should we? What is your experience?
This question is very, very easy for me to answer. The advice was exactly the same and came from five different people regarding two different men. That advice was, "Walk away."
I eventually did follow their advice but it took years in each case and I had to reach the same conclusions in my own way and at my own pace. I'm happy with where I'm at now so I guess it all turned out for the best anyway.
All's well that ends well ! I married two men who were the oldest of six and both science-y. Exactly how many oldest of sixes could there be in my tiny circle? How does that happen? Both are good men - the first one up until he left (giggle).
The only time I ever ask anyone for what might be seen as "advice", would be either in seeking professional advice from someone (and maybe seeking any number of "second professional opinions"; or else in a work setting when it wouldn't be "advice", but would instead be "direction" or "guidance" from a superior/supervisor. On the other side of things, I might seek, or at least want to factor in, "direction" or "guidance" from someone who may be working "under" me, maybe also for, say, my children (now grown, but regardless of that), or from anyone on whom some action I took would have impact.
Other than that, I don't ask for advice or other "two-cents' worth" from anyone because I'm secure and know enough when to trust my own judgment, how seek information from solid sources (when necessary) and then factor it into whatever I "have"; and only then "create my own advice to myuself". (lol)
For a number of different (and sometimes combined ) reasons, I do sometimes feel as if I'm wearing a sign around my neack that says, "PLEASE OFFER ME YOUR UNSOLICITED ADVICE, TIPS AND GENERAL IDEAS ABOUT ME AND MY LIFE ". Maybe that's why I never need to ask for advice; because besides not wanting or needing it, it generally comes flying at me from all kinds of people and all kinds of directions. Most of the time they mean well (occasionally, someone isn't being all that selfless)
Over the course of a little more than forty years of adult life, I've had, maybe, four or five times when (sick of being seen as "control freak" for not being interested in advice on me/my life; even though I have no interest in putting in my two cents on other people's lives); I've just figured I should go with what someone else says. Those few times have lead to completely and utter disaster (and I mean that in the truest sense of the word). So, maybe it took me those four decades to build up enough of those times when I didn't listen to me and instead went with someone else's "two cents" (mainly because I was tired of being criticized or resented for "never listening to anyone"; but at least now I've had enough of those times to just vow never to be "too tired to stand my ground" again.
The trouble is, in the meantime (and when it comes to some of those smaller incidents of unsolicited advice and well intended suggestions of what I should/could do), I let a w hole lot of people get away with thinking either that I'm weak, dumb and/or hopeless in one way or another.
Lisa! You're Hilarious! I thought I was the poster child for getting unsolicited advice. I swear we must have signs around our necks. Just 2 days ago, a dear friend showed me a GRAPH he made about MY stuck emotions! He's not even my husband!
the comment below occured when I was signed in under another of my hub names. Oops!
Don't get married until after your finish college because if you do, you never will. I married the first husband while I was in college with the understanding that we would finish. Two years and one child later, I attempted to go back, but I only made it one semester.
We were immature and too young, and that marriage didn't end well. I ended up a single mother trying to raise two young boys with little and sometimes no child support. That child graduated from college before I was able to finish and go on for a graduate degree.
Now that I have a good job and money to do the things I want, my health prevents it. I look at the middle-age couples who live in nice homes and take their children on trips like to Disney World, and I'm a little envious that I couldn't do these things for my children, or even for my grandchildren. That is the one big thing I wish I could go back and do over.
Ah, a rough turn of events, MizB. I am very envious of "what might have been" had my first husband not left. Our home would have been paid for 15 years ago. We would have had a nice retirement. Now my 2nd husband and I scrape along. I understand
After loosing three pregnancies the Dr said give up! I was determined and went through 14 pregnancies carrying them between 4-7.5 months. I did get 5 biological children from these 14 and they are now adults. I adopt one after the 4th lose which was my blessing while waiting. I am a Mother of 6 adult children today.
That's a great deal to go through. I had 8 miscarriages after the birth of my daughter, Bethany. The last was when I was 40. I'm grateful no doctor ever siad to "give up" even though each loss was difficult. You sound joyous with the outcome,Penny
oops. I was signed in to my other hub account when I commented under my anonymous name below. I guess that's a little too "not anonymous" now.
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