What is the most important or best advice that you ever received as a parent?
Never discipline your child when your angry, up-set, or frustrated. Discipline your children while your up-set doesn't really resolve the problem, in-fact it only make things worse.
Don't dwell on the naughty thing your child does, reward good behaviour and hopefully the bad won't be as bad.
Keep talking even if they do not seem to listen. I realize that they do remember.
Great question and answers!
The best advice that I have ever received is to know when to disengage, sometimes saying nothing is more powerful than words.
Make continual deposits into your child's emotional health bank, so that when you mess up and blow it as a parent, you are able to make a withdrawal that won't effect your relationship in the long run.
I think it was "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" and most of it is small stuff. Most of the phases do pass and it helps to keep yourself from getting too wrapped up. Also, always keep in mind that if you do your job as parent well, they leave someday and that is what you're preparing them for -- to live a life independent of you.
Best advise was to keep a watchful eye on teens and not rush into forbidding friendships with questionable people. I finally forbad a friendship with girl that almost ruined my daughters life by her manipulation Her boyfriends parents sent him to live with relatives to get him away from her. It was a sad situation.
The best parenting advice ever came from a wise woman who said, "Never say your child will never..." read more
To relax and realize that all phases will pass and to grin through it all.
I have received lots of advice from so many good sources. Some of the best were spend time with your child, take time to listen to them, pray for them, take them to church, be a role model ... "walk the talk", discipline with love (not when you are mad; focus on the act not the child).
I got a lot of advice, but I think one of the best pieces of advice was from our pediatrician. The pediatrician advised us to start feediing our children vegetables as their first baby food, then move on to meat, and don't give fruit until they are well established on the other stuff. It was about 9 months or so before my children started fruits. By the time they did, anything sweet was a treat. They learned to eat all foods when they were younger, and the food didn't have to be sweet for them to enjoy it. The pediatrician also told us that if they didn't eat what is on their plate (within reason), then they don't get anything between meals but water until the next meal. The kids learned to eat what we gave them, instead of deciding they didn't like their food and waiting for a "good snack. They learned to try a lot of different types of foods this way and like them. Some foods really weren't tolerable for them and they weren't required to finish these things, as long as they tried it. The shivering was usually the tell tale sign that the food was not their favorite.
"Choose your battles wisely."
If you never allow a child to make a mistake, they will never learn that there are consequences. Let them make the little mistakes. If you nag every detail, they will tune you out. Then, when you truly need them to hear you, well, you may have better luck getting through to a brick.
Never underestimate the effects of sleep deprivation. It's true.
I have been very afraid to become a parent as I haven't know my own parents and had no role models to follow except my old Grandmother who raised me. When she saw me studying all those parenting books, she got hold of my hand as said: "Just follow your heart, that is all you need to know..."
And she was right, I still use her advice as a mother of three grown up children and as a teacher as well...
It seems vague, but I was told that no one knows better what is best for your children. What I interpreted is that every kid is different and every parent is different, so dont listen to your perfect nieghbor when she implies that your kid is behind, or strange, or that you arent doing something right. What is best for your family is whatever works for you!
Hard Work is the best policy. Accept everything that comes in your way. Everything happens for a reason.
To let my teenage children express themselves the way they really want to, no matter what they wanted to do. To let them experiment with their world, even if I was afraid for them.
My companion (of 23 years) is an Italian man from Rome who believed that children should not be discouraged from learning what life is all about, that instead they should be guided by parent's words and actions, but then left to their own consciences.
I had had a different, more rigid, disciplined British upbringing, so his ideas were very different from mine, but they worked.
My sons, by the time they got to university had already matured enough to not 'be silly' away from home. They are 30 now and appreciate his ultimate trust in them, the fact that he never nagged then, or was disappointed by them. They love him and his gentle permissive ways. He helped them grow into good and confident and responsible young men.
Great question. I think that probably the most important "suggestion" , or advice, I ever received was about respect. My mother taught me respect by example. If she was wrong she admitted it. She apologized when necessary. And I loved her for it. She gave me the best advice and the best example of anyone I know.
She told me when my first child was born that if I wanted my children to grow up to respect authority, or in fact, anyone who deserves respect, then I had to show them HOW to respect.
"We remember 10% of what we read or hear, 50% of what we see, and nearly 100% of what we do."
I treated my children with respect. I listened. I did NOT belittle, demean, or make degrading remarks to them. And, maybe the most important part of showing respect to my children was to admit when I was wrong and if an apology was needed, apologize to them.
We laugh a lot as a family. We have fun. We are not sarcastic with each other. We are real. Respect - for myself, first, then to others.
While I was still in the hospital with my firstborn, a friend of the family told me that I should cherish each stage (pretty obvious!), but she said that you end up saying goodbye to them as each stage passes, almost like mourning the person that was. A little sad, but I for what ever reason it really spoke to me. In a way, while it's sad to think that that little baby, or little toddler, or little preschooler is now gone, it does make me a little more conscious of the current person in front of me, and how many versions of them have come and gone. So much to look forward to.
You can always earn money, lose it and make it again, but you can't always come alive. You only have one life. Don't chance it to make that turn in a car if you think you can't make it when another car is coming.
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