How many years it took to understand your spouse?

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  1. jainismus profile image74
    jainismusposted 11 years ago
    How many years it took to understand your spouse completely? Or you are still unable to understand your spouse?

    1. Disturbia profile image61
      Disturbiaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Ha ha ha ha ha ha ... lol lol lol lol lol

      1. jainismus profile image74
        jainismusposted 11 years agoin reply to this

        It was a serious question, so why you are laughing? sad

        1. Disturbia profile image61
          Disturbiaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

          I know it was a serious question, it's just that I've been married five times and so far all I understand about any of them is that they were not right for me.  The first one was the only one I felt understood me, but in the eight years we were together, I was never able to figure him out.  It's probably because deep down inside, I never really cared to.  I knew what he was all about and that was enough.  We were happy till he passed away.  But I don't think I understand myself, much less anyone else.  I don't think i want to understand them.  It's too much work and I'm just not that deep.

          1. jainismus profile image74
            jainismusposted 11 years agoin reply to this

            Hey, I was just joking this time and you took it seriously!!smile

            1. Disturbia profile image61
              Disturbiaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

              LOL, no, not really, I try not to take anything very seriously. wink

      2. Greek One profile image62
        Greek Oneposted 11 years agoin reply to this


      3. Xenonlit profile image60
        Xenonlitposted 11 years agoin reply to this

        I'll pile on to this sub thread:

        hahahahahaha!  lol

        1. brakel2 profile image74
          brakel2posted 11 years agoin reply to this

          Men and women are so different, and each day is a new day. When you think you understand, tomorrow arrives, and everything changes. I guess I need to read the book about understanding the brains, but I don't think that would even help. It is a wonder that marriages last. I guess we get used to being in a constant state of confusion, that we still stick with it. It is love, no matter what, with the ones who stay together. Love, in spite of everything.

    2. alisha4u profile image41
      alisha4uposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It's so hard to understand someone... sometimes , it takes your entire life knowing a person...
      I don;t think we can ever understand a person completely, be it anyone..

      1. jainismus profile image74
        jainismusposted 11 years agoin reply to this

        You are right.

  2. stclairjack profile image77
    stclairjackposted 11 years ago

    in all serriousness,.... undertanding of even yourself is a life long proscess,.. do we ever REALY understand anyone else?

    getting to "KNOW" some one,.. thats more apropriate.

    i knew most everything i neededto know about my husband within the first year,... i spent the next 13 dealing with what i knew,.... he never got to know me.

    i learned all i didnt want to know about my second husband within 6 months,... he at leat took the time to get to know me,.... he knew it was over before i did,... when i figured it out,... well,... thats another story.

    i KNOW the man i've been dating for two years now,... but "undertanding",... man,.... is that eve possible?

    1. jainismus profile image74
      jainismusposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Great answer! cool

      1. stclairjack profile image77
        stclairjackposted 11 years agoin reply to this


        and besides,... we feckless humans tend to get bored with what we fully understand,... i hope i never fully understand a man,... how boring would that be! ha!

  3. KDF profile image61
    KDFposted 11 years ago

    Still counting, it never ends. Understanding your spouse is a daily activity. One that, if you're consciously aware of, you can become exceptionally good at. I wouldn't say I completly understand her and I don't expect her to totally understand me, but compared to day 1 to now, we have a good clear understanding! How's that for understanding, eh?

  4. profile image0
    Gypsy Rose Leeposted 11 years ago

    You see I never understood my first husband. Him I wanted to kill and not because he was bad he was a truly wonderful person but so set in his ways and annoying that we fought more than ever. I've been together for close on to 17 years with my second husband. We rarely fight and we understand each other sometimes just by looks alone. It's like we can sometimes read each others minds. Basically this is because we're soulmates and it took us an awful long time to find each other. I was born in America and he in Latvia. When I brought my mom back to her homeland in 1994 we met and we've been together ever since. It happens to people that I believe you have to find the person who is the other half of your soul to be really happy.

    1. jainismus profile image74
      jainismusposted 11 years agoin reply to this


  5. neeta chauhan profile image61
    neeta chauhanposted 11 years ago

    Knowing the other person inside out is fictitious because that is
    humanly impossible , nowadays its difficult to understand oneself
    only how can you get to know your spouse and in a certain
    span of time.
    But none the less i got to know my ex spouse right from the day i started
    living with him because he had such a transparent personality that
    it was like adding 2+2 = 4  for me the reason why one cannot understand
    ones spouse in ones married life is because he/she has landed
    up with a tough cookie and who does not have a transparent personality
    only those type of people are hard to understand .......

  6. Mark Pitts profile image65
    Mark Pittsposted 11 years ago

    I don't think you ever understand fully, you just learn to accept what is without anger, frustration, or confusion. I finally realized I was just as confusing and annoying to her, so how could I expect more? I trust her without question, and that is more than plenty to maintain love for me.

  7. donnaisabella profile image73
    donnaisabellaposted 11 years ago

    My husband and some guys I either dated or met along the way before I got married all told me I was a very understanding woman. I am not sure what they meant, whether it was that I allowed them to be who they were or was not complicated in my relating with them. However, when I got married to my husband (going on 17 now), a time came when he told me that I was not understanding, now that made me stagger a little bit; may be I had just become more real in my dealings and was giving it back to him the way I was getting it. Well, long story short, I am in a different season of my life where I am learning and practicing forgiveness. The more I learn to forgive, I find I am better able to understand his scruples and to not get bogged down with trying to correct them or feeling miserable about them. I can tell you that for the first time in many years of marriage, I can say I am beginning to learn how to live with the person my husband is without letting it get under my skin and it is working very well. I guess, that is what we call understanding. I have to inform myself minute by minute to live at peace and accept him just the way he is because that is what I want for myself.

  8. wilderness profile image95
    wildernessposted 11 years ago

    36 years and counting.  I figure I'm about 10% of the way to a good understanding.

  9. cashmere profile image79
    cashmereposted 11 years ago

    More than a decade of being married and I'm still trying to understand him  smile

  10. profile image0
    writeronlineposted 11 years ago

    42 years married. Still loving the daily challenge.:-)

  11. fosginger profile image60
    fosgingerposted 11 years ago

    um, well been married ...for some time Still dont understand him and stopped trying to cause it was giving me an ulcer


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