How many years it took to understand your spouse completely? Or you are still unable to understand your spouse?
It was a serious question, so why you are laughing?
I know it was a serious question, it's just that I've been married five times and so far all I understand about any of them is that they were not right for me. The first one was the only one I felt understood me, but in the eight years we were together, I was never able to figure him out. It's probably because deep down inside, I never really cared to. I knew what he was all about and that was enough. We were happy till he passed away. But I don't think I understand myself, much less anyone else. I don't think i want to understand them. It's too much work and I'm just not that deep.
I'll pile on to this sub thread:
Men and women are so different, and each day is a new day. When you think you understand, tomorrow arrives, and everything changes. I guess I need to read the book about understanding the brains, but I don't think that would even help. It is a wonder that marriages last. I guess we get used to being in a constant state of confusion, that we still stick with it. It is love, no matter what, with the ones who stay together. Love, in spite of everything.
It's so hard to understand someone... sometimes , it takes your entire life knowing a person...
I don;t think we can ever understand a person completely, be it anyone..
in all serriousness,.... undertanding of even yourself is a life long proscess,.. do we ever REALY understand anyone else?
getting to "KNOW" some one,.. thats more apropriate.
i knew most everything i neededto know about my husband within the first year,... i spent the next 13 dealing with what i knew,.... he never got to know me.
i learned all i didnt want to know about my second husband within 6 months,... he at leat took the time to get to know me,.... he knew it was over before i did,... when i figured it out,... well,... thats another story.
i KNOW the man i've been dating for two years now,... but "undertanding",... man,.... is that eve possible?
Still counting, it never ends. Understanding your spouse is a daily activity. One that, if you're consciously aware of, you can become exceptionally good at. I wouldn't say I completly understand her and I don't expect her to totally understand me, but compared to day 1 to now, we have a good clear understanding! How's that for understanding, eh?
You see I never understood my first husband. Him I wanted to kill and not because he was bad he was a truly wonderful person but so set in his ways and annoying that we fought more than ever. I've been together for close on to 17 years with my second husband. We rarely fight and we understand each other sometimes just by looks alone. It's like we can sometimes read each others minds. Basically this is because we're soulmates and it took us an awful long time to find each other. I was born in America and he in Latvia. When I brought my mom back to her homeland in 1994 we met and we've been together ever since. It happens to people that I believe you have to find the person who is the other half of your soul to be really happy.
Knowing the other person inside out is fictitious because that is
humanly impossible , nowadays its difficult to understand oneself
only how can you get to know your spouse and in a certain
span of time.
But none the less i got to know my ex spouse right from the day i started
living with him because he had such a transparent personality that
it was like adding 2+2 = 4 for me the reason why one cannot understand
ones spouse in ones married life is because he/she has landed
up with a tough cookie and who does not have a transparent personality
only those type of people are hard to understand .......
I don't think you ever understand fully, you just learn to accept what is without anger, frustration, or confusion. I finally realized I was just as confusing and annoying to her, so how could I expect more? I trust her without question, and that is more than plenty to maintain love for me.
My husband and some guys I either dated or met along the way before I got married all told me I was a very understanding woman. I am not sure what they meant, whether it was that I allowed them to be who they were or was not complicated in my relating with them. However, when I got married to my husband (going on 17 now), a time came when he told me that I was not understanding, now that made me stagger a little bit; may be I had just become more real in my dealings and was giving it back to him the way I was getting it. Well, long story short, I am in a different season of my life where I am learning and practicing forgiveness. The more I learn to forgive, I find I am better able to understand his scruples and to not get bogged down with trying to correct them or feeling miserable about them. I can tell you that for the first time in many years of marriage, I can say I am beginning to learn how to live with the person my husband is without letting it get under my skin and it is working very well. I guess, that is what we call understanding. I have to inform myself minute by minute to live at peace and accept him just the way he is because that is what I want for myself.
36 years and counting. I figure I'm about 10% of the way to a good understanding.
More than a decade of being married and I'm still trying to understand him
um, well been married ...for some time now..lol. Still dont understand him and stopped trying to cause it was giving me an ulcer
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