What causes sensitive good boys to be less attractive and have less sex appeal than bad boys?
I like classy men. Smart, clean cut, no tattoos. I think bad men are popular and promoted as being "cool" or fashionable. Smart, stable women are not motivated by what Hollywood is promoting and gravitate towards independent, smart men who knows how to treat a lady.
Excellent answer. I prefer refined, classy, upscale men myself. Somehow, the bad boy has a brutish quality that some women fall for.
"Bad boys" existed before Hollywood started making movies.
I believe the images we see in movies are generally referenced from a writer's experience in his/her life or someone they know. Cool has always meant (not conforming) in some way.
Hollywood is indeed responsible for the trend of the 'bad boy". Movies from the 20s showed no love for the bad guy, it started to become fashionable in the 50s & Rock n Roll compounded it. Hollywood now wants to poke fun at everything good.
I think a lot of it is to do with confidence. If a man appears to be confident, it makes a potential mate feel that they are capable of protecting them, whilst being fun to be around. As you know, this often backfires!
During our youth quite a few women are drawn to "bad boys". Today they may call it a guy with "swagger".
Essentially they want a guy who is confident and sometimes bordering on arrogance. These girls motto is:
"We ignore those who adore us and adore those who ignore us."
I've often said you could stick such a woman in a room with five guys and have four them get down on their knees before her extending their hearts while the 5th guy sits in a corner sipping on a cocktail acting as if she doesn't exist.
That will be the guy she wants to get to know!
She sees him as mysterious, a challenge, maybe even an element danger, he'll make her (earn) his attention and if she is aware other women wanting him the competition makes her all the more interested in him!
Another aspect is if a man is respected by other (men); women will tend to want to be with him as well. The captain of the football team, basketball team, manager, or any guy in a leadership role usually has no problem finding a girlfriend.
What often frustrates "nice guys" is a lot of women will automatically put them in the "friend zone" and spend tons of time crying on their shoulder or complaining about how insensitive or unromantic the "bad boy" is and yet they're afraid to turn off their cell phone because they don't want to miss his call!
The "nice guy" is not a challenge, he's "too nice", he puts her on a pedestal and she is uncomfortable with it, traits like being honest, reliable, dependable, and adoring are seen as "boring" and predictable. Some women actually may think the "nice guy" is "too good" for them and they don't want to break his heart!
Another factor about "bad boys" is they are usually not apprehensive about kissing and making sexual moves on women. Nice guys sometimes come off as nervous and clumsy when attempting be romantic. Again this goes back to "nice guys" not appearing confident.
However ultimately after a series of heartaches and being on the roller coaster of love, lust, and passion many women eventually decide that finding a "nice guy" is in their best interest. Many of them will feel like they "settled" because they will never be as passionate about the "nice guy" as they were with the "bad boy" but he's safer!
For many women being with a "nice guy" is a "practical decision".
This sort of explains the old adage: "Nice guys finish last"
Some women will not give a "nice guy" a chance until they've had their hearts broken many times by "bad boys".
I wrote a hub on this:
"She asked: Why Are There So Few Good Men?”"
I have often wondered this. I personally prefer good guys, because where I grew up (Oakland, CA), bad guys were definitely something to be feared. I went to a public middle school in the 7th grade, and stories of rape were quite common. One of my friends was raped by a couple of 9th graders. I was threatened numerous times myself. The school, even though it was one of the better ones, averaged about one killing or near killing a year. Fortunately, I was able to escape that environment by attending a Christian school, which averaged 1 or 2 fights a year, and the kids, though brattier, were a lot more civilized. So I see ABSOLUTELY NO APPEAL in bad guys!
I got out of Oakland soon as I turned 18 - the best decision I ever made. However, 37 years later, I'm still working on getting Oakland out of me. I was terrified of men and relationships, believing they were all criminals. I have since discovered most men are good, and even the bad guys can surprise you with good traits. Women from New York have told me about the tightly-knit communities in their neighborhoods, and being protected by drug addicts when they go to dances. I had a roommate who used to be a homeless crack addict, but he turned his life around through yoga, and now, though he's still scary-looking, he is the most amazing person. He suffered PTSD from fighting in a war in the army, and they did nothing to help him, but he was able to figure it out on his own.
Good guys, especially those who have overcome adversity, tend to be very resourceful. I suspect women who go for bad guys are dysfunctional themselves. One example is the late great Michael Jackson's parents. "Evil Joe" would come home and beat the kids for the slightest infractions. But how did he know what they did? Because "Angelic Catherine" told him.
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